Freewrite the Sanity

Given up I have on keeping the titles homogeneous, yes, yes it does not matter if the freewrites are all disorganized, chaotic, because they're free in many senses of the word.

Watch watch I did, Drunk on Too Much Life, and alas I have broken one important rule about my freewrites: going back and editing something major but it's okay, it's just a link to the Toronto Public Library's answer to Netflix. You need to be a library member to watch it though.

Okay okay, it's okay, it was a good movie and the craziest part is that I recognize so many of the intimate places where they film. How they managed to film inside a mental health ward I have no idea but I recognize the very same halls I once wandered, and the outside walls on Shaw St, and I recognize the Humber River and I recognize the bridges and I recognize the subway stops and I recognize the convenience stores it just doesn't end. I recognize the people.

I recognize the people, the people who populate my past and the present and are hopefully in my future again because these people, from the famous authors to the infamous speakers to the stoic unknowners in the public transit shots I must have seen at least one of them before.

Is it forced, is it me, is it a part me that writes these words that come out without fear, it's a part of me which is me et j'essaie, j'essaie d'accommoder mon coté français, je le force aussi, peut-être, parfois, pourquoi mes voix sont si timides?

Pourquoi sont-elles timides? Je ne comprends pas; le language peut être tellement beau et mon art, présentement, est de l'écrire; peut-être c'est parce-que j'écris si rarement en français ici que mes voix - les voix - mes voix - les voix - restent en anglais parce-que franchement, je penses plus souvent en anglais ces temps-ci.

I was about to start writing in Spanish but then I remembered that I don't actually know much Spanish. I can't believe I'm actually trying to learn Japanese when Spanish would be so much easier, but, my choice is made. I just need to get more serious about it. Learning a new language is great for the brain, and that's what I'm writing about here; back to the movie: it's about mental health, and obviously not just mental health because we're not Descartes, the mental and the physical and the emotional and the social health are all intertwined now so it's a new era or whatever.

Speaking of new eras, I just 'fixed' my parental's internet. It seems the Wi-Fi adapter on their tablet is broken. So I told them to plug in an ethernet cable and they have internet again; they barely use their tablet in mobile form so it doesn't really matter much. They'll just have a speedier connection now.

Back to me, no, back to the internet: I miss communicating with people online. There's a pseudo-community here, the internet lingo evolves, little gadgets or applets are everywhere, it's a great time waster.

Back to back hopeful the music never stops; I will go play my djembe now because I need to get better and because I feel good when I play but I feel guilty for not playing enough but also because I shouldn't be lonely when I play but sometimes I feel really lonely and the sound is better than total silence.