Politics.

Anyone remember Red vs Blue? It was a Machinima (it might still be going, not too sure) in the Halo universe. I had a few friends who were into it, I didn't find it particularly interesting. I was more into my own sort of machinima, making and filming my own videos in WoW (boy were they ever amateur...), and also idolizing other great videos. Maydie's videos were a great inspiration, as was World of Roguecraft. Drakedog was effing awesome.

I almost rolled a rogue when my warlock was level 60, back when warlocks really were at a disadvantage, and itemizing was... just plain horrible. I didn't care too much though, I was mostly in the game not as an escape, but because it was recommended to me. Maybe I played into it a little too much (a few of my friends thought it was "ruining my life"), but I feel like the raiding, grouping, questing and grinding and interface tweaking all gave me skills that put me where I am today.

Sure, I'm unemployed right now, not in school either, but I feel like I'm doing myself some good by doing various creative things here and there, playing sports (I'm a good badminton player). I have a lot of meaning in my life these days, I think, I just don't have much of the practical, applied side of it.

Back to the topic of the post:
Red vs Blue
Bell vs Rogers
Conservatives vs Liberals

Seriously, what the eff. All this country ever does in parliament (and I'm sure the politicians' twitter feeds would agree with this) is argue, argue, and debate. Oh yeah, people want change. Sorry to plug the U.S. here, but is Obama changing anything? Statistics might agree, but where's the love? I don't see it.

There's other political parties in Canada, but really, it's all black and gold to me.

Who really runs this country? Bell is doing great financially last I checked, Rogers insulted me (and lots of my friends) when they renamed the beautiful Skydome (where as a child, I was brought to see Nelson Mandela speak, though I don't remember what he said; I'm sure it was legitimately inspiring) to the ugly, ugly Rogers Centre. At least they kept the spelling of centre Canadian.

From what I remember though, whoever owned the Skydome was financially troubled and had to sell out. Oh well.

I really think I could do good things here in Canada, but I'd rather pull an Ignatieff and go elsewhere to get the hell out of here. Like I've mentioned before, I've never been out of Canada. I've wanted to, and when I was younger, I've asked my parents to, but now, at 20 years old, it's time I distance myself from them. They don't get me. Duh.

Whoa-oh-oh-oh, I want to be your gamer guyyyyy.


Karma Aspiration Linger Entity Iodinic Daringless Overcast Ulysse Grievous Hawt Spectrum Citronelle Ophilia Philharmonikally Eyesfull
Lathargic Yamen Plutomium Soliloquy Yoda Catalyst Heathen Erstwhile Déjà vu Elipse Idealic Catastrophic


P.S. Kyle's pretty good at liek filming and stuff. It was great seeing Jeremy and... I forget her name, but she was there too, and getting your autographs at the Fan Expo. Where was Doug though?
I still have your autographs in the CD case that I lent out to a few different people. I think it's back at my place though, but I really can't be bothered to find it
ALRIGHT I'M GONNA GO GET 0WNED BY EXPERTS AT MW2 NOW, PEACE.

Sick and tired.

I have different "resonations" in my head, I don't know if I can call them memories of people in the past that I've loved, or that I might have liked, or that maybe cared about me. I sometimes feel like I can communicate with these people.

They're not voices, I don't hear voices in my head.

They're also ideas that I have about how to behave in the world that usually help me out. I think the word I'm looking for is "consciousness". I feel like I have a hyper-sensitive consciousness, as in I'm able to feel things that maybe others might not. C'est comme si je suis capable de ressentir des choses à un niveau dont lequel d'autre gens ne sont pas capable. Des fois ça me rend fou, mais je suis capable de me ramener à une normalité qui fait que je ne me fais pas dominer par toutes ces idées. Le yoga, la philosophie, la danse, les jeux vidéos, les sorties avec les amis, les chansons que je chante, les voyages que je fait, all these things help me deal with this strangeness that's in my head.

Psychiatrists, psychologists, experts etc. have all tried to categorize me into certain domains to try and "treat" me, but really it doesn't amount to much in the end.

Seems like no one can really truly understand me, everyone's too effing busy with their lives to be able to care about mine, unless they're instructed to do so, or they have a reason to, which usually, they can't find on their own.

Call me a selfish, attention-seeking-influenced-influencing whore.
I need a lover I have to love with comfort.
Eff.

Edit 2011/12/10
Karma Aspiration Linger Entity Iodinic Daringless Overcast Ulysse Grievous Hawt Spectrum Citronelle Ophilia Philharmonikally Eyesfull

/University+-College)(

I have way too many options, but I've narrowed some things down.

I'm not leaving Canada for post-secondary studies... yet.
Not Ryerson.
York sounds friendly and I love commuting. Might grow to hate it, though. Glendon sounds incredible.
UofT(St. George Campus) would be perfect, but my parents will drive me mad.
UBC would be a blast, but Vancouver would lure me too much.
I love Dalhousie.
I don't know enough about King's College.
UNBC seems so far away.
OCAD, I love you, and I need you.
UofA would be... interesting.
I could go up north, but my hair would suffer.
George Brown, I miss you already.
Western's just not for me, too many creepers there apparently, but Deadmau5 played there so he might play again.
UVic, you're so romantic, I'd probably go insane.


WSID?
Should I wait another year, with one Fan Expo to rule them all?
Or should I throw down another few hundred dollars for applications, again.
Or do nothing at all.
GOOD THING I SAVED POLLING THE AUDIENCE, REGIS.

CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR LKmDHAGLHGLq;HELFE HELP ME PICK.
Karma Aspiration Linger Entity Iodine Darwin Overcast Ulysses Grievous Hawt Spectre Citron Ophilia Philharmonic Eyeless.

I just invented a joke

A neuroscientist, an observer, and a philosopher walk into a bar.
The philosopher asks "What is love"?, to which the neuroscientist says "Baby don't hurt me!"
The observer, being naturally observant, yells out "NO MORE!".

Little do they know that there's a copywriter lurking in the corner...

Edit 03/2014: I have NO clue what the hell this is, lol.


Karma Aspiration Linger Entity Iodinic Daringless Overcast Ulysses Grievous Hawt Spectrum Citronelle Ophilia Philharmonikally Eyefull
Lathargic Yamen Plutomium Soliloquy Yoda Catalyst Heathen Erstwhile Déjà vu Elipse Idealic Catastrophic

Sweet 160 (158 w/o rough drafts)

Un de mes premier souvenirs avec ma soeur, c'était quand j'avais environ 7 ans. Cette journée-là, j'étais allé au dentiste, et j'avais été demandé si je grinçait (ou claquait?) des dents pendant que je dormait. Vraiment, j'en ai aucune idée, et je ne pensais pas que je le faisais. Mais comme ma soeur et moi dormions dans la même chambre, peut être qu'elle l'aurait sû.

Je lui ai demandé, et je ne me rappelle plus de sa réponse.

What was more important for me was telling her a prophecy that I had, in this one dream I have.

Not to be a pokemon master and to collect them all, but rather that there was a planet somewhere, somehow, where I could train some Pokémon, have a blast with Digimon, become a true fighter like in DBZ, and be a great duelist in the Yu-Gi-Oh card game. I think there was a fifth dimension that I wanted to share at the time, but I forget what it was now. It probably had some dragons, though.

Never let go of dreams, but you're allowed to push/pull them wherever for a while.

Karma Aspiration Linger Entity Iodinic Daringless Overcast Ulysses Grievous Hawt Spectrum Citronelle Ophilia Philharmonikally Eyefull
Lathargic Yamen Plutomium Soliloquy Yoda Catalyst Heathen Erstwhile Déjà vu Elipse Idealic Catastrophic

Dark to light, light to tark, dark to lite.

I hear people speak about darkness.
I hear Nietzche talk about the abyss.
My inner resonators gain and lose control depending on my inner responses to things, and I know of only two ways to modulate them, two things that will always be with me wherever I go, two passionate emotions, and yet, so devoid of meaning sometimes that I wonder if I really am just overreacting, or underreacting, or even reacting at all.
The dark and light expand like an abstractious dance of hope and death that don't seem to want to stop too much. If I wish them away, they stare at me from beyond... just, beyond.

My inner and outer promises keep on accumulating, and I can't seem to find much subtraction anywhere. My subtractions are people that I absolutely adore that avoid me, perhaps subconsciously, but with hidden purpose. Those that I try to keep away only manage to make me feel horrible about myself, so much that I have no choice but to stay put and wait, wait forever, wait for my own truths to shine.

But a star can't shine without at least another light source, otherwise what is shine?

How do I divide by i?

-Kaleidoscope

Brute force.

Yeah, I'm gonna have to brute force through my Songbird library, but it should be better in the end. Let's hope backup systems are running okay.

Objectif: Islande!

Destination: Iceland!

Iceland when will I get to you?!

Who knows, I hope it's serendipidous!

In more calming news, I've been coming up with quotes lately. Thoughts that are formulated into quotes, and my quote-pseudonym is called Gabalazriel.


The inherent problem with quotes is that, because they're usually short (the kind of quotes I'm talking about, anyway), there's a likely chance that someone's already come up with something like it already, somewhere, maybe in some other language.

I take the sum of all my knowledge and apply it to a few words that I connect together. Could I be accused of plagiarism for that? I don't think so. Pretty much everyone borrows ideas from everything. I can understand why there's a need for "intellectual honesty" in a commonly accepted reality i.e. an academic setting where there's an exchange happening between different people(s), though, otherwise the people who are set in their way to consciously steal ideas from other people for "profit" get way too much power.

The Medium is the message, but the happy medium is the messenger. -Gabalazriel



Karma Aspiration Linger Entity Iodinic Daringless Overcast Ulysses Grievous Hawt Spectre Citronelle Ophilia Philharmonikally EyeFUL

Il me semble.

Que mon "papa" va lire toutes les choses qu'il lui sont donne, mais ne veux rien savoir de mon monde. C'est triste.

A "novel" idea?!

It's crazy, but it might as well be thrown on here.

Listen up, K-Canata (vs the "world"...)

Ever since I was a younger lad, I've had the urge, no, the -desire- to go to university. I like the word, and I like what it represents.

As I grew older and settled into the high-schoolness, I still had that vision of wanting to go to university, but never quite enough drive for it, and that was apparent not only to me, but the people who cared for/about me. Then came a childhood teenager's worst nightmare - all great friends (many whom would only consider themselves acquaintances) split up and scattered all over Canada (and no doubt, many other friends of mine split up within their own respective countrys, too) for various reasons, with the most common element being schooling. Being the communication being that I am, I looked and turned to other friends, who were equally great, and absorbed myself into their worlds to soothe mine, all the while slowly forgetting about friendships forged in friendly environments.

And some of these people who I still consider -friends- were once secret lovers of mine, though my brain cruelly hid those possibilities away from me, embarrassed that my body couldn't possibly cope with feelings of love. In such a way, cruelty was a part of my being, and it was an unconscious suffering that acquaintances would have noticed, but knowing not how to help, they had not much choice but to continue along their own paths.  

My words will never be enough to satisfy my creativity, but experience can come save me (again, outside of the confines of an incredible program, aptly named, Katimavik).

Here's my idea: I want to study, I want to study everything! I still don't know exactly what, for the purposes of the schoolers, I should apply for/to. Philosophy seems like the simplest category for me to explore, and yet it seems so restricted by others' creativity that may or may not interfere with mine. I don't like conflicts, but I feel like they're necessarily part of existence...).

There are so many places I want to study though, I have friends on the west coast, I have friends on the east coast, I have friends on the north coast, I have friends on the south coast, all with different ideas and with different perspectives on how their studies go. I've already applied in the past to a few universities in Ontario, but even if I had been accepted, would I have been content knowing that those three (UofT, York, Ryerson, for the record) were, at first, the only options I was considering?

Damn, this isn't concise enough! Let me reiterate my idea: I want to see and travel through different places of learning (academic or otherwise, preferrably places of academia, just like Vaughan Road Academy) so that I can find a place that resonates the most with me (in this process, I'd be learning anyway).

I lack the money to do this fantasy/dream/reality of mine. I have lots of talents (I've been singing/dancing with music a lot, for example, and I think I've abandoned some of my previous shynesses), but I'd need some groupies (a rock band?!) to keep me in check.

I need a funder, or a fundraiser, one of my last fears.

I need more space to continue this monologuous conversation.
(Don't hurt me, linguists, I love you!)

I wish I had my International Baccalaureate diploma.

TO. BE. CONTINUED.

Ad infinitum.

Karma Aspiration Linger Entity Iodinic Daringless Overcast Ulysses Grievous Hawt Spectre Citronelle Ophilia Philharmonikally EyeFUL

Postscript
I have creativity, so much creativity.

FUCK Eat, pray, love.


Cuisine, love, text and resonance FOR THE WIN! (I'll probably improve on this combination sometime, I'm tired, I hate bedtime).

P. S. Someone wanna pay my phone bill?! 55 a month... But I have freedom to have nationwide calling in Canada, and that's friggin' sweet! I'll offer some inventory creativity in return.

P.P.S. I should probably simplify this blog post like a mathematician to make my proposal easier to follow. Soon... 

 Sources: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kanada_(disambiguation)

A switch in a writing topic.

It might sound just two sided (I have that fear anyway and believe me, I really hate that categorization, I hate choosing sides in life), but I've decided that I can write in a more close-minded manner, instead of always having my head up in the clouds and having broad, not-too-concrete posts about my thoughts on things.

Doing some dancing in the kitchen, trying to escape the horrifying, engulfing (but somehow manageable) feeling caused by unfair restrictions imposed upon me by the family that I currently live with, I come to realize something that finally helps express the creativity that I cannot seem (or want) to stop flowing. It's something I used to do as a child, and it's nice to be able to explore aspects of me that have for so long been shadowed by my brain.

A good dance (altogether depending on what environment I'm in) is expressing the thoughts that circulate through my being in a manner that is convincing and expresses that energy, all the while maintaining a respectable sense of what the observers (if any) might like to see.
This creates a sort of loop where the observer influences the movement of my body, and I respond to it by continuing... with dancing!

But the prime mover should always be the dancer when he/she/it is dancing, the influence should be shared, yes, but with most of the control from the dancer.

There are times where I would love to just lose that control though, but with fear of repercussions, it's so difficult to get over.

Am I human, or are we dancers?

Karma Aspiration Linger Entity Iodinic Daringless Overcast Ulysses Grievous Hawt Spectre Citronelle Ophilia Philharmonikally Eyeless

Beware of the bandwagon.

For it lures even the most -innocent- of victims...