Once upon a time, in the depths of my past memories, I was an average 14 year old who went to school, got decent grades, and played video games with friends when not busy being a boy scout.
I also spent a monstrous amount of time surfing the internet - back then, we had just gotten a new DSL connection, and I could spend unlimited amounts of time connected to the modem without tying up the phone line.
I quickly discovered many ways to connect with people, and one of them was a particular chatroom I had found by googling (or, back then, "Altavista-ing) "chatroom". Of course, there were your regular people, mostly teenagers around my age (I hope!) discussing music, movies and your run-of-the-mill teenage banter. There were the creepers, who were sending countless number of private messages to the girls just to see them naked.
And there was me.
I don't really know why I was there in the first place. I guess it's because I felt a little lonely and I loved how easy it was to just start up a conversation with someone. I didn't even have to start the conversation with "hello". I usually came up with slightly punny introductions that would get me weird looks were they uttered face-to-face. Some of the people I messaged thought I was weird nonetheless, but once in a while, I would find someone who would reply with an equal amount of wittiness and I knew I'd found someone special.
Usually, the conversation would go on for a while before the inevitable question would pop up: "Do you have MSN?". Because, well, once you disconnected from the chatroom, you were likely fated to never see or hear from these people again, unless you were a regular.
Either way, MSN was always a constant. You could always depend on MSN Messsenger. The smiley selection was just... so appealing, and the introduction of voice clips in my later teenage years only furthered my adoration for this communication medium.
So, during one of my many 321Teenchat escapades, I met a girl named K. from New Zealand. She is one of my -original- internet friends, and I've known her for seven years to this day. SEVEN YEARS! And I've stayed in touch on and off with her for those seven years. I think I just loved the fact that she was from New Zealand, and I would always beg her to use her microphone to talk to me because I desperately wanted to hear her sweet accent.
K., being a wise and rather shy girl, never did such a thing... until two days ago.
I heard her voice for the first time after seven years of "knowing" her. Since we'd been Facebook friends for a while, she took the initiative to use the new Facebook video chat and actually gave me a call, and we had so much to talk about!
Unfortunately, it was around 4 am and I REALLY needed some sleep.
My conversations with her usually ended at such a time because I was always up late talking to her and I eventually needed to go to bed. She would rarely be on at normal conversational times for me, say, 9 pm, and so I would stay up late just to talk to her because her time zone was very strange indeed.
I have many, many other internet friends, but K. is probably my most ancient, and I do hope to see her someday. We're both mature enough now to actually travel the world without feeling awkward about it.
Anyway, this was what was on my mind today - let's hope my Saturday will be filled with fun-filled adventures and real-life socialness.
Hah...
Yeah right...
Karma Aspiration Langune Entité Iodinement Dérive Oisellerie Ulysse Guimauve Hurlement Salutaire Citronelle Ophilia Perspicace Ettore
2019-09 update: Removed first name for privacy reasons.
Saturday 31 March 2012
Thursday 29 March 2012
Free writing: #1
New rules: I am not allowed to use the backspace.
Doctor doctor, what is wrong with me? Why can'tI seem to find the right words for my expressions?
Why do you ask so many questions? Why do I sak myself countless number of questions only to find that nothing has changed.
Do you have a purpose for this words? Will people stop reading once they see that I don't write with eprfect accuracy?
It's actually really difficult to write without automatically pressing the backspace button; I'm so used to using it because I contantsly reainvent what I want to write to make my meaning omre clear.
I can't seem to be the epsonn I want to be... let me try that again (I am not a printer). I can't seem to find to be the person Iwant to be. I try for a little while, i try and follow the decrees but I can't keep up with all of them. I still can't sleep at a reasonable hour; I prefer to dull my brain with massive amounts of internet information before bed at around 2 am instead of actually taking care of my health and following nature's indedtend sycle of sleep.
This is a tortorus blog to write. THe isspelled words are nagging at me like a moqsquito draining y life blood. I breathe and write as as supplementary way of feeling good about myself. OH THIS IS too difficult! Please let me use the backspace! No, trules are rules.
Living life oh my... jeez, ths is really difficult. Well, it's just like life itself, there's no backspace in time, so I better know what Im doing. I shoul d wtirte faster and faster; on second thought, nevermind, then my writing won't even be legible.
Did I have something important so say? Not really; I'm only writing these lines to get rid of the creative energy that flows through yym veins right now. There's no mutch left. It'd bea easier to feel content writing these lines if my fellow bloggers blogged as much as I do, butg I have yet to find a friend who has withstood the test of time with their blog. They quit, they come back, ( I just cheated there, I used the backspace twiece), but it'S still a lonely place on this blog. Who am I writing to? I'm not writing to anyone; I'm writing to myself so that in my future, Iwill see what I was thinking at the past.
Oh there goes my grammar too... oh dear oh dear, this will not do. I just wish I had more and mroe haobbies and that they didn't reolvele around being near a computer for any length of time. I can't imagine my life without a computer, itS' kinda scary. I mean, I've lived for a computer for a while, so it'S definitely doable... it's just I don'T do it because it's so much... fun? No it's not fun, computers aren't a fs fun as they used to be. I remember when I was little, because I had a windows 3.1, I remember playing with a toucan and him teaching me words.
That was sall so long ago. What happened tow riting? Why do we tweet so much? Why is Facebook so BIG? When's the last day I didn'T check facebook?% Why why why why.
Oh I have so many uquestions, I just wish people would give me answewrs sometimes.
OKAY I FEEL LIKE EATING JUNK FOOD. I do not want to cheat I do not want to cheat I do not want to cheat.
I think I need more pictures on this pblog, to make things colorful. OH GOD, NO, I SPELLED IT THE AMERICAN WAY. THis is my demise.
I want friends. I should wget that cellphne...
Emails no longer mean anything apparenly. Ou can't oraganize things without a cellphone, I'm out of the loop, I could be outside with a friend right now. I am locked away insid e a basement writing words that seem to follow a vague if not distant structure . I hope my witing isn'T too drab.
I'm at 0$5%.
Summer will help.
Monday 26 March 2012
Sitting in a room
With big brown wooden walls, with fake rainy sounds coming from wood-and-plastic perfectly rectangular speakers.
Sitting on a chair with plastic armrests, staring feebly at a 23-inch rectangle that flashes different colours if I press different buttons.
There is an obsidian black lamp that shines artificial sodium light in the darkness of the much-too-late hour of two AM.
Beside this light is a bookshelf filled with what was once pulp from a tree somewhere in the world, probably the amazon.
But back to the table, where the rectangular screen glares at me menacingly, lies another plastic device that, when moved, makes pixels activate in such and such a manner.
Beside this plastic device is, you guessed it, a plastic board with keys on it that, when pressed, darken a pixel and make the patterns of light on the screen change somewhat.
There are objects strewn around the off-white desk that make the place look messy, but not pig-styly. Perhaps the only natural looking thing is a djembe drum about the height of a coffee table that does not seem to fit amidst all the fake plasticky things and that, when struck, booms out and resonates through all the corners of the underground room in which I find myself in.
Where did nature go? I miss her.
Karma Aspiration Langune Entité Iodinement Dérive Oisellerie Ulysse Guimauve Hurlement Salutaire Citronelle Ophilia Perspicace Ettore
Sitting on a chair with plastic armrests, staring feebly at a 23-inch rectangle that flashes different colours if I press different buttons.
There is an obsidian black lamp that shines artificial sodium light in the darkness of the much-too-late hour of two AM.
Beside this light is a bookshelf filled with what was once pulp from a tree somewhere in the world, probably the amazon.
But back to the table, where the rectangular screen glares at me menacingly, lies another plastic device that, when moved, makes pixels activate in such and such a manner.
Beside this plastic device is, you guessed it, a plastic board with keys on it that, when pressed, darken a pixel and make the patterns of light on the screen change somewhat.
There are objects strewn around the off-white desk that make the place look messy, but not pig-styly. Perhaps the only natural looking thing is a djembe drum about the height of a coffee table that does not seem to fit amidst all the fake plasticky things and that, when struck, booms out and resonates through all the corners of the underground room in which I find myself in.
Where did nature go? I miss her.
Karma Aspiration Langune Entité Iodinement Dérive Oisellerie Ulysse Guimauve Hurlement Salutaire Citronelle Ophilia Perspicace Ettore
Friday 23 March 2012
Gabriel - Lamb
I can fly
But I want his wings
I can shine even in the darkness
But I crave the light that he brings
Revel in the songs that he sings
My angel Gabriel
I can love
But I need his heart
I am strong even on my own
But from him I never want to part
He's been there since the very start
My angel Gabriel
My angel Gabriel
Bless the day he came to be
Angel's wings carried him to me
Heavenly
I can fly
But I want his wings
I can shine even in the darkness
But I crave the light that he brings
Revel in the songs that he sings
My angel Gabriel
My angel Gabriel
My angel Gabriel
But I want his wings
I can shine even in the darkness
But I crave the light that he brings
Revel in the songs that he sings
My angel Gabriel
I can love
But I need his heart
I am strong even on my own
But from him I never want to part
He's been there since the very start
My angel Gabriel
My angel Gabriel
Bless the day he came to be
Angel's wings carried him to me
Heavenly
I can fly
But I want his wings
I can shine even in the darkness
But I crave the light that he brings
Revel in the songs that he sings
My angel Gabriel
My angel Gabriel
My angel Gabriel
Thursday 22 March 2012
Free speeching: Segment the fifth
Oh shiz, here we go, let's take a journey!
Tell me Gabriel, do you get influenced by the music you listen to when you write these things?
Oh yes, I sip gin & juice and let loose, letting my fingers do the walking on my sexy grey keyboard that I picked up a few years ago on the sidewalk in the neighbourhood. I once tried to burn the cable with a lighter because I thought it was possessed by California Girls.
I think California Girls, the song, is a mind-control technique aimed at getting people over to California to bring tourism. I don't think every girl in California is a daisy duke. I will deny them.
I should continue my music balancer blog, where I try to even out the music. What counters Katy Perry is Arcade Fire, so let's go see what the suburbs are up to.
INTERVENTION. With the little triangle, it goes "ding ding ding!".
I probably need to be a little careful, because if what I write is complete and utter nonsense, Google might decided to delete this entry because their spam-detector will be hitting the fan.
Rant rant rant? Okay, twice now I've tried unsuccessfully to pick up a mediocre 50 dollar cheque from this big office downtown for work that I did for them... what could I possibly do with a 50 dollar cheque, you might be wondering?
Well, most of my money these days goes to buying food when I don't have time to pack a lunch, which is a terrible expense. But I'm trying to save it for something or another, maybe some origami paper... or maybe I should invest it somewhere, that would be the wise option. Unfortunately, 50 dollars isn't very much - oh sure it is, it can buy you a hundred burritos in Nicaragua.
But when will I make it to Nicaragua? I really should find a job here first, so I can save my money and go places and do things that normal young adults usually do at this age, because that's what I want to do - just be your average regular everyday normal guy. The other day, I was with some friends and I asked this girl to "Call me maybe", and it's the closest I've really ever come to asking a girl out, except that one time at Starbucks when I walked in wearing my Birkenstock knockoffs and straight up asked for her number.
I think she was just being nice when she said "Sorry, I'm taken, but you made my night!". What, did I make your night because I may or may not have been at your standard of what you look for in a guy?
Well, it doesn't matter to me, because my theory of relativity (I still have no clue what Einstein's is) states that eventually we all will find our missing half, somewhere in the universe. If not in this universe, well, then in a parallel universe where things might be different and necessarily better.
I should share my deep philosophical theories on here more often, like my spectrum theory that I use to shed light on why drugs are a good thing for humans and not altogether bad when placed in the right hands.
It's a lot easier to share theories when you have people who really truly care to listen, but because we're inundated with massive amounts of information everyday - through Youtube, Facebook, advertising billboards and sneaky marketing campaigns in subway stations (I'M LOOKING AT YOU, THE HUNGER GAMES), people really have no attention span anymore. It's terrible.
Yesterday was a fantastic day at Trinity Bellwoods park though, because I had my tarot cards with me and people were actually interested by them, and the two people who decided to get a reading were impressed by the answers they got! It really clicked with them, and I was really happy to hear that because I was doubting whether they would work with others or not.
So hey, it turns out that fairies really do exist, but I don't think they wear boots.
Tell me Gabriel, do you get influenced by the music you listen to when you write these things?
Oh yes, I sip gin & juice and let loose, letting my fingers do the walking on my sexy grey keyboard that I picked up a few years ago on the sidewalk in the neighbourhood. I once tried to burn the cable with a lighter because I thought it was possessed by California Girls.
I think California Girls, the song, is a mind-control technique aimed at getting people over to California to bring tourism. I don't think every girl in California is a daisy duke. I will deny them.
I should continue my music balancer blog, where I try to even out the music. What counters Katy Perry is Arcade Fire, so let's go see what the suburbs are up to.
INTERVENTION. With the little triangle, it goes "ding ding ding!".
I probably need to be a little careful, because if what I write is complete and utter nonsense, Google might decided to delete this entry because their spam-detector will be hitting the fan.
Rant rant rant? Okay, twice now I've tried unsuccessfully to pick up a mediocre 50 dollar cheque from this big office downtown for work that I did for them... what could I possibly do with a 50 dollar cheque, you might be wondering?
Well, most of my money these days goes to buying food when I don't have time to pack a lunch, which is a terrible expense. But I'm trying to save it for something or another, maybe some origami paper... or maybe I should invest it somewhere, that would be the wise option. Unfortunately, 50 dollars isn't very much - oh sure it is, it can buy you a hundred burritos in Nicaragua.
But when will I make it to Nicaragua? I really should find a job here first, so I can save my money and go places and do things that normal young adults usually do at this age, because that's what I want to do - just be your average regular everyday normal guy. The other day, I was with some friends and I asked this girl to "Call me maybe", and it's the closest I've really ever come to asking a girl out, except that one time at Starbucks when I walked in wearing my Birkenstock knockoffs and straight up asked for her number.
I think she was just being nice when she said "Sorry, I'm taken, but you made my night!". What, did I make your night because I may or may not have been at your standard of what you look for in a guy?
Well, it doesn't matter to me, because my theory of relativity (I still have no clue what Einstein's is) states that eventually we all will find our missing half, somewhere in the universe. If not in this universe, well, then in a parallel universe where things might be different and necessarily better.
I should share my deep philosophical theories on here more often, like my spectrum theory that I use to shed light on why drugs are a good thing for humans and not altogether bad when placed in the right hands.
It's a lot easier to share theories when you have people who really truly care to listen, but because we're inundated with massive amounts of information everyday - through Youtube, Facebook, advertising billboards and sneaky marketing campaigns in subway stations (I'M LOOKING AT YOU, THE HUNGER GAMES), people really have no attention span anymore. It's terrible.
Yesterday was a fantastic day at Trinity Bellwoods park though, because I had my tarot cards with me and people were actually interested by them, and the two people who decided to get a reading were impressed by the answers they got! It really clicked with them, and I was really happy to hear that because I was doubting whether they would work with others or not.
So hey, it turns out that fairies really do exist, but I don't think they wear boots.
Thursday 15 March 2012
Lots of umms
I honestly didn't know I used so many umms in my speech.
If I learned anything from filming this one, it's that I need to stop being so unsure about what I want to say.
Karma Aspiration Langune Entité Iodinement Dérive Oisellerie Ulysse Guimauve Hurlement Salutaire Citronelle Ophilia Perspicace Ettore
If I learned anything from filming this one, it's that I need to stop being so unsure about what I want to say.
Sunday 11 March 2012
Read me maybe
Hey. I've always known you. And this is crazy! But here's my hotlink... so read me maybe!
It's hard to read you right; you're so cool baaaby, but here's my hotlink... so read me maybe!
Before you strolled into my life I missed you so bad; I missed you so bad, I missed you so, so bad!
Before you linked to my site I missed you so bad; and you should know that! I missed you so, so bad!
It's hard to read you right; you're so cool baaaby, but here's my number... so call me maybe!
And all the other bloggy girlssss, try to chase meeeee-
So I take it you're in a good mood?
WTF where did you come from?
You're my boyfriend!
Whoa... wait what? I have a girlfriend? You're joking right?
Who said you had a girlfriend?
Oh... You're starting to sound a lot like GladOS. You know who that is right?
Yeah, she likes to open portals and she's pretty mean. I'm much cooler!
Well... ANYWAY... Here I was, about to happily dedicate a post to Sgt. Kaleidoughscope's Lonely Hearts Club Blog. Because of course, that's what this place used to be called before it eventually turned into A Kaleidoughscope of Writings. A much better title, no?
Yes, and it also doesn't infringe on any copyrights.
That's always a plus.
So what are you going to do today, Gabriel?
If you must know, I'm going to finally finish that damn book report right before it's due. I also just came back from a bike ride 'cause it's sunny and-
Did you just openly admit to liking the sun?!
I complain about not seeing stars all night long so I figure I might as well not take the one I get to see practically daily for granted.
YAY! Let's go dance and sing and be merry and drink stupid wine-
Whoa whoa whoa, easy there. I have to finish my book report! Also, negative points for practically quoting Noah and the Whale.
:( This whole post is practically gushing about how much you love Carly Rae Jepsen!
:S ANYWAY, here's something that ought to add some spice to both our lives:
Remember this doozy? I posted it more than four years ago. I'm at a 1 right now.
Wow! You even labeled your axes!
Not very well mind you, but I think you get the gist of it. I think with my little goatee now, I might be pushing 30 once my hair grows out again...
So, ready for your next decree?
Sure.
Spiritual Decree #4: Lessen the use of sarcasm in your daily and online life unless you're actually being funny.
Ooooh I like this one. No really, I do! And it won't be too hard to follow this 'cause I've been practicing for a little while now. But occasionally, you meet that one person who is just so naive and-
Stop right there criminal scum!
Alright alright, no more sarcasm. Or as I like to explain it, it's time to close the sar-chasm.
Har har har.
HEY THAT WAS SARCASTIC!
The decrees are for you; not for me - I'm pretty much perfect.
Ugh, fine.
Last comment for today: What song were you just listening to?
You ain't seen nothing yet - Bachman Turner Overdrive. And then Nirvana came on and suddenly I really want to skip All Apologies. WOOHOOOO HIGHWAY STARRRRRRRRR!
:D
It's hard to read you right; you're so cool baaaby, but here's my hotlink... so read me maybe!
Before you strolled into my life I missed you so bad; I missed you so bad, I missed you so, so bad!
Before you linked to my site I missed you so bad; and you should know that! I missed you so, so bad!
It's hard to read you right; you're so cool baaaby, but here's my number... so call me maybe!
And all the other bloggy girlssss, try to chase meeeee-
So I take it you're in a good mood?
WTF where did you come from?
You're my boyfriend!
Whoa... wait what? I have a girlfriend? You're joking right?
Who said you had a girlfriend?
Oh... You're starting to sound a lot like GladOS. You know who that is right?
Yeah, she likes to open portals and she's pretty mean. I'm much cooler!
Well... ANYWAY... Here I was, about to happily dedicate a post to Sgt. Kaleidoughscope's Lonely Hearts Club Blog. Because of course, that's what this place used to be called before it eventually turned into A Kaleidoughscope of Writings. A much better title, no?
Yes, and it also doesn't infringe on any copyrights.
That's always a plus.
So what are you going to do today, Gabriel?
If you must know, I'm going to finally finish that damn book report right before it's due. I also just came back from a bike ride 'cause it's sunny and-
Did you just openly admit to liking the sun?!
I complain about not seeing stars all night long so I figure I might as well not take the one I get to see practically daily for granted.
YAY! Let's go dance and sing and be merry and drink stupid wine-
Whoa whoa whoa, easy there. I have to finish my book report! Also, negative points for practically quoting Noah and the Whale.
:( This whole post is practically gushing about how much you love Carly Rae Jepsen!
:S ANYWAY, here's something that ought to add some spice to both our lives:
Remember this doozy? I posted it more than four years ago. I'm at a 1 right now.
Wow! You even labeled your axes!
Not very well mind you, but I think you get the gist of it. I think with my little goatee now, I might be pushing 30 once my hair grows out again...
So, ready for your next decree?
Sure.
Spiritual Decree #4: Lessen the use of sarcasm in your daily and online life unless you're actually being funny.
Ooooh I like this one. No really, I do! And it won't be too hard to follow this 'cause I've been practicing for a little while now. But occasionally, you meet that one person who is just so naive and-
Stop right there criminal scum!
Alright alright, no more sarcasm. Or as I like to explain it, it's time to close the sar-chasm.
Har har har.
HEY THAT WAS SARCASTIC!
The decrees are for you; not for me - I'm pretty much perfect.
Ugh, fine.
Last comment for today: What song were you just listening to?
You ain't seen nothing yet - Bachman Turner Overdrive. And then Nirvana came on and suddenly I really want to skip All Apologies. WOOHOOOO HIGHWAY STARRRRRRRRR!
:D
Saturday 10 March 2012
Full lustre poetry
Sometimes I feel like my best friends are total strangers
Sometimes I feel like total strangers don't want to be my friend
Sometimes I feel like music's telling me to leave
Sometimes I feel like leaving music out of it
Sometimes I like to pretend like I know what the word love is supposed to be
Sometimes I pretend to have to care about her
She's elusive, but only because I'm more elusive than her
She's confident because she wants to be there for me
Flowing like a river; cool and remote like a dancing girl
Burning me with fire; hot in proximity like a flame
The poet and the pendulum sway with each other;
they know how to swing
from one life
to another.
Sometimes I feel like total strangers don't want to be my friend
Sometimes I feel like music's telling me to leave
Sometimes I feel like leaving music out of it
Sometimes I like to pretend like I know what the word love is supposed to be
Sometimes I pretend to have to care about her
She's elusive, but only because I'm more elusive than her
She's confident because she wants to be there for me
Flowing like a river; cool and remote like a dancing girl
Burning me with fire; hot in proximity like a flame
The poet and the pendulum sway with each other;
they know how to swing
from one life
to another.
Thursday 8 March 2012
Choosing De Cree
Hi!
Oh, it's -you- again. Well, I'm doing well on the junk food front, if you must know.
Good, I was hoping you'd say that.
Yeah, it's pretty hard though, because there's so much junk food everywhere I go.
Just remember that you have no idea where that stuff comes from or what that stuff is, really. Just because it tastes good doesn't mean it should go in your mouth.
I hate corporate interests that intervene with regular human life in order to profit off of desperate-
Ooookay, we're going to steer clear of that idea for now; your aim is to find your own sense of happiness, remember?
Right, right. As Lux would say, "Stay positive! ^_^".
Since you're actively trying to respect the decrees, I'll give you a choice for today as a present. Sleep or activity?
Oh, let's go for sleep. I've been plagued with sleep troubles since my teenage years. I'm kind of going to miss my erratic sleep patterns though... you meet the strangest and most interesting people at the dead hours of the night. It's the dark-after, after all, where human nature gets decomposed like my compost bin on Monday nights.
Right-o.
Spiritual decree #3: Go to bed before 1 am, every night of the week. Your aim is 11 pm, but this will take a while given your present love affair with going to bed at, shall we say, ungodly hours.
Am I right in assuming that this decree is flexible; for example, if I'm out partying at a friend's place?
Partying? Your goal is to be happy, not to have fun!
WHAT?
Just kidding! Of course this one's flexible, but it's really important to respect it as much as possible. There are very few things more essential to mammals than sleep. Sanity starts with good sleep patterns and you know that.
Yeah, I knew that. Sometimes it's fun to feel a little wonky! I suppose I am guilty of being a little -too- wonky sometimes...
Je sais, mon amour.
Whoa whoa whoa, let's not get into pet names now. Also, why are you in red now?
Because I love you.
ಠ_ಠ
Okay! See you next time!
Enthusiasm, thou art a bitch.
Watch your language!
This is MY blog you know!
:)
Karma Aspiration Langune Entité Iodinement Dérive Oisellerie Ulysse Guimauve Hurlement Salutaire Citronelle Ophilia Perspicace Ettore
Oh, it's -you- again. Well, I'm doing well on the junk food front, if you must know.
Good, I was hoping you'd say that.
Yeah, it's pretty hard though, because there's so much junk food everywhere I go.
Just remember that you have no idea where that stuff comes from or what that stuff is, really. Just because it tastes good doesn't mean it should go in your mouth.
I hate corporate interests that intervene with regular human life in order to profit off of desperate-
Ooookay, we're going to steer clear of that idea for now; your aim is to find your own sense of happiness, remember?
Right, right. As Lux would say, "Stay positive! ^_^".
Since you're actively trying to respect the decrees, I'll give you a choice for today as a present. Sleep or activity?
Oh, let's go for sleep. I've been plagued with sleep troubles since my teenage years. I'm kind of going to miss my erratic sleep patterns though... you meet the strangest and most interesting people at the dead hours of the night. It's the dark-after, after all, where human nature gets decomposed like my compost bin on Monday nights.
Right-o.
Spiritual decree #3: Go to bed before 1 am, every night of the week. Your aim is 11 pm, but this will take a while given your present love affair with going to bed at, shall we say, ungodly hours.
Am I right in assuming that this decree is flexible; for example, if I'm out partying at a friend's place?
Partying? Your goal is to be happy, not to have fun!
WHAT?
Just kidding! Of course this one's flexible, but it's really important to respect it as much as possible. There are very few things more essential to mammals than sleep. Sanity starts with good sleep patterns and you know that.
Yeah, I knew that. Sometimes it's fun to feel a little wonky! I suppose I am guilty of being a little -too- wonky sometimes...
Je sais, mon amour.
Whoa whoa whoa, let's not get into pet names now. Also, why are you in red now?
Because I love you.
ಠ_ಠ
Okay! See you next time!
Enthusiasm, thou art a bitch.
Watch your language!
This is MY blog you know!
:)
Karma Aspiration Langune Entité Iodinement Dérive Oisellerie Ulysse Guimauve Hurlement Salutaire Citronelle Ophilia Perspicace Ettore
Musical Decree
Hi. It's me again.
Oh god, what now.
Did you manage not to each junk food since last night?
I... I don't know... It all happened so fast...
What do you mean?
It was 3 am and I was practically starving... and that box of cheerios, with the cute bee and little crispy round things... I just couldn't stop myself.
Stop yourself from...?
OKAY OKAY I ADMIT MY DEED! I ATE A WHOLE BOWL OF DELICIOUS HONEY NUT CHEERIOS WITH A COPIOUS AMOUNT OF 3.25% MILK LATE LAST NIGHT BECAUSE I COULDN'T SLEEP.
Anything else you care to confess?
This is starting to get creepy. I had a few bites of chocolate Haagen-Dazs and a bit of sorbet, but otherwise I'm clean today, I swear!
Good job!
Gee.. thanks?
Are you ready for your next ordinance?
Why do you have to act so formal? Yes I'm ready. I think I did okay on the first decree. You kind of remind me of someone from the fifth Harry Potter book, though...
I'm much nicer than that evil witch.
Yeah, and a little more sentient, too...
Spiritual decree #2: Play your djembe at least a few times per week at first, then augment to at least 10 minutes per day during daylight.
Hmm, I think I could do that. Do tell me, Guardian Angel, Spiritual Protector, whatever... What is the importance of this decree?
Well, music has massive healing powers, especially the drum because it's probably one of the most ancient instruments known to man. It fuels your soul in ways that no amount of Justin Bieber babies ever will, because it acts just like an external heartbeat to guide you. I'm not asking you to go to drum circles and solo (which would be super cool and you know it!), but just hearing a rhythm daily can bring a happy cadence to your life.
Solid. Sooo... should I start right now?
No. At this hour, you'll wake up the old lady next door to you that you've been using as an excuse not to practice. During the daytime and with spring approaching, there's no better time to commit to improving your musical talents, and you know it!
I think your enthusiasm is rubbing off on me. I hate it when that happens...
Cheer up buttercup!
Karma Aspiration Langune Entité Iodinement Dérive Oisellerie Ulysse Guimauve Hurlement Salutaire Citronelle Ophilia Perspicace Ettore
Oh god, what now.
Did you manage not to each junk food since last night?
I... I don't know... It all happened so fast...
What do you mean?
It was 3 am and I was practically starving... and that box of cheerios, with the cute bee and little crispy round things... I just couldn't stop myself.
Stop yourself from...?
OKAY OKAY I ADMIT MY DEED! I ATE A WHOLE BOWL OF DELICIOUS HONEY NUT CHEERIOS WITH A COPIOUS AMOUNT OF 3.25% MILK LATE LAST NIGHT BECAUSE I COULDN'T SLEEP.
Anything else you care to confess?
This is starting to get creepy. I had a few bites of chocolate Haagen-Dazs and a bit of sorbet, but otherwise I'm clean today, I swear!
Good job!
Gee.. thanks?
Are you ready for your next ordinance?
Why do you have to act so formal? Yes I'm ready. I think I did okay on the first decree. You kind of remind me of someone from the fifth Harry Potter book, though...
I'm much nicer than that evil witch.
Yeah, and a little more sentient, too...
Spiritual decree #2: Play your djembe at least a few times per week at first, then augment to at least 10 minutes per day during daylight.
Hmm, I think I could do that. Do tell me, Guardian Angel, Spiritual Protector, whatever... What is the importance of this decree?
Well, music has massive healing powers, especially the drum because it's probably one of the most ancient instruments known to man. It fuels your soul in ways that no amount of Justin Bieber babies ever will, because it acts just like an external heartbeat to guide you. I'm not asking you to go to drum circles and solo (which would be super cool and you know it!), but just hearing a rhythm daily can bring a happy cadence to your life.
Solid. Sooo... should I start right now?
No. At this hour, you'll wake up the old lady next door to you that you've been using as an excuse not to practice. During the daytime and with spring approaching, there's no better time to commit to improving your musical talents, and you know it!
I think your enthusiasm is rubbing off on me. I hate it when that happens...
Cheer up buttercup!
Karma Aspiration Langune Entité Iodinement Dérive Oisellerie Ulysse Guimauve Hurlement Salutaire Citronelle Ophilia Perspicace Ettore
Tuesday 6 March 2012
Divine Intervention
Dear Gabriel,
It has come to our attention that you have not been feeling too well lately. It is of our opinion that you are headed into a mild depression which, if left untreated, may lead to a more severe case of depression, anxiety and other psychotic tendencies. In order to prevent this from happening, we are here to assist you to make you... simply happy.
You may be asking yourself several of the following questions, all of which have answers:
1. "Who are you?"
2. "Isn't life like a roller coaster? How can I possibly always be happy?"
3. "How will this divine assistance work?"
4. "Who sent you?"
1. To put it simply, we are beings that you cannot really sense with the traditional 5 senses, but you can most certainly feel our presence.
2. Life is not like a roller coaster. It's a bad metaphor. Whoever came up with this idea did not want to you to be happy.
3. From this moment on, we will be imposing upon you no more than one (1) spiritual decree per day that will prevent you from doing certain things that do you no good. Alternatively, they may be more positive on some days and allow you to do certain things that you hadn't considered doing before.
4. We are here to help you. We are not here to harm you in any way. We have always been around you. We are your guardian angels.
Hmm. I accept.
You didn't really have a choice.
I think this is my subconscious finding more innovative methods to help me procrastinate on my book report which I should be writing right now because it's late.
Maybe. Either way, this is good for you in the long run.
Okay. So, what's the "spiritual decree" for today?
We'll get to that soon. First, a more detailed explanation of these decrees.
We regret to inform you that your blog will be the main headquarters for our operations, and so your decrees will appear as new blog posts, perhaps daily, perhaps weekly depending on circumstances.
Are you ready for your first decree? It's a big one.
Shoot me.
Wait wait, one more thing. Decrees will be in bold. Is that okay?
You know, for a guardian angel, you're pretty insecure.
Oh shut up. You still have free will, so I have to ask you a lot of questions. So that's a yes?
Go for it.
Spiritual decree #1: No more junk food. This includes cookies, chips, chocolate, copious amounts of cheese, fast food, gluten-containing foods, gluten-free snacks, fries, pizza pops and anything else that's factory made or just loaded with sugar and bad carbs.
Well, can't say I didn't expect this. Did you really have to go after the pizza pops though? Am I allowed gum?
Gum is the only exception. We recommend a lot of green tea to get over your junk food addiction, because babe, you're going cold turkey.
Hey! Did you just call me babe?
Some of your friends call you "Gabe the Babe", do they not?
*Sigh*
Well, there you have it. Welcome to my heaven (or hell, depending on how you look at it...).
P.S. I made this video late last night. Please don't enjoy it.
Karma Aspiration Langune Entité Iodinement Dérive Oisellerie Ulysse Guimauve Hurlement Salutaire Citronelle Ophilia Perspicace Ettore
It has come to our attention that you have not been feeling too well lately. It is of our opinion that you are headed into a mild depression which, if left untreated, may lead to a more severe case of depression, anxiety and other psychotic tendencies. In order to prevent this from happening, we are here to assist you to make you... simply happy.
You may be asking yourself several of the following questions, all of which have answers:
1. "Who are you?"
2. "Isn't life like a roller coaster? How can I possibly always be happy?"
3. "How will this divine assistance work?"
4. "Who sent you?"
1. To put it simply, we are beings that you cannot really sense with the traditional 5 senses, but you can most certainly feel our presence.
2. Life is not like a roller coaster. It's a bad metaphor. Whoever came up with this idea did not want to you to be happy.
3. From this moment on, we will be imposing upon you no more than one (1) spiritual decree per day that will prevent you from doing certain things that do you no good. Alternatively, they may be more positive on some days and allow you to do certain things that you hadn't considered doing before.
4. We are here to help you. We are not here to harm you in any way. We have always been around you. We are your guardian angels.
Hmm. I accept.
You didn't really have a choice.
I think this is my subconscious finding more innovative methods to help me procrastinate on my book report which I should be writing right now because it's late.
Maybe. Either way, this is good for you in the long run.
Okay. So, what's the "spiritual decree" for today?
We'll get to that soon. First, a more detailed explanation of these decrees.
We regret to inform you that your blog will be the main headquarters for our operations, and so your decrees will appear as new blog posts, perhaps daily, perhaps weekly depending on circumstances.
Are you ready for your first decree? It's a big one.
Shoot me.
Wait wait, one more thing. Decrees will be in bold. Is that okay?
You know, for a guardian angel, you're pretty insecure.
Oh shut up. You still have free will, so I have to ask you a lot of questions. So that's a yes?
Go for it.
Spiritual decree #1: No more junk food. This includes cookies, chips, chocolate, copious amounts of cheese, fast food, gluten-containing foods, gluten-free snacks, fries, pizza pops and anything else that's factory made or just loaded with sugar and bad carbs.
Well, can't say I didn't expect this. Did you really have to go after the pizza pops though? Am I allowed gum?
Gum is the only exception. We recommend a lot of green tea to get over your junk food addiction, because babe, you're going cold turkey.
Hey! Did you just call me babe?
Some of your friends call you "Gabe the Babe", do they not?
*Sigh*
Well, there you have it. Welcome to my heaven (or hell, depending on how you look at it...).
P.S. I made this video late last night. Please don't enjoy it.
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