Turn It Off

I don't have the energy to overanalyze another Paramore song, but I still want to share my thoughts and feelings as they unfurl whilst I listen to Turn It Off, from Brand New Eyes.

 

I feel like searching for my soul; my true self, and to "turn off" all the chatter that prevents me from me being genuine.

See, Hayley aka lead singer of Paramore, has been a sort of lifeline/inspiration to me for a few years now. And she gets it. She gets what it means to be genuine. Beyond the media veil, beyond the commercialization, her voice carries a strength that I admire.

Oh, woes. I'm finding it so hard -not- to get into the overanalysis again. It's just... as I listen to the music, I feel like explaining my reality. These Paramore songs capture my fleeting thoughts and make them beautiful, somehow.

The only lyric I'll leave in the post here today is:

I wanna know what it'd be like

To find perfection in my pride

To see nothing in the light

But turn it off in all my spite, in all my spite

TURN IT OFF. Well, not the song.

Signed,

Kaleidoughscope

Sensical theatrical

Jumping on opportunities is what I'm doing these days.
A couple blog posts ago, I narrated how I became involved with a student group at UofT called Design in Design. It has been a positive experience so far.

But the only reason I became a part of the group is because I seized the opportunity when it presented itself. I could have chosen to go home that one Friday evening instead of sticking around in room 204; but my decision to stay and see why all these strangers were congregating led me to discover a world I had never thought of being a part of before.

Now, I'm on the team that manages the Facebook page for the group. Granted, I haven't done anything yet because I'm not experienced enough in graphic design matters, but it's good to feel part of a team.

Pine needles in Cedarvale

Design in Design is but one example of the opportunities that present themselves every day to me.

I'm joining another group, totally unrelated to this graphic design thing, tomorrow. I don't want to say too much about it since I'm not sure what to expect, but it has to do with gender, sexuality, and identity: all interesting topics in and of themselves, but together, a whole greater than the parts.

I am that whole. And the hole that has been gnawing at me from the inside is finally retreating.

Signed,
Kaleidoughscope