December weather

It was a warm and rainy day today. I don't know how I feel about it being 10 degrees celsius in December. On one hand, it's nice to not have to deal with the biting cold and chapped lips and all the little inconveniences of real winter weather, but on the other hand, I feel sad knowing that this abnormal weather is a very real manifestation of climate change.

I'm kind of far away and isolated from all the hardcore devastation caused by human exploitation of the Earth (e.g. dead whales and melting ice). So while I might be aware that climate change and pollution caused by humans is wrecking the Earth, I'm not reminded of it on a daily basis. Indeed, all I see is the same old houses and buildings, and sometimes parks with some litter strewn here and there, but the artificial city I live in keeps my mind in a bubble of fake comfort.

Comfort definitely isn't here, though. A city, at least to me, doesn't provide comfort. It provides convenience and maybe a form of protection from the primal elements, but in the long run, it is tiring to have to see the same ugly not-quite-perfect shapes of man-made structures everywhere.

For a pessimist, I'm pretty optimistic sometimes.

It's alright, I'll find my optimism again, somewhere in time.

Keeping up is tough

If you don't keep up with your schoolwork, it builds up. Fast.
I hate to admit it, but having a good work routine is pretty damn important.
Having structure in your life is important. The brain likes structure because then it doesn't have to over think every little thing.
I don't like structure. I try to rebel against it. Somehow, I convince myself that having structure will rob me of my freedom - the freedom to be spontaneous, to be serendipitous, to be genuine.
But maybe - just maybe - having more structure will allow me to accomplish things that will bring more joy into my life.

Here we go again. Setting a time limit of how much time I spend on the computer, regardless of whether I'm working or not, is critical. And there's nothing wrong with avoiding computer and electronics altogether on some days. A few months ago, one my profs even gave the class homework to avoid the computer and cellphone for a whole 24 hours, more if possible. Not too many people were able - or willing - to do it.

I've spent too much time writing this out already. School isn't going as well as I had hoped. I will work harder to not let myself get overwhelmed again.

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