More endless noise

Society is wack, man.

This is beyond the pandemic.

I'm on the verge of losing St. Clair West for good; I've already vowed not to return to Piccinnini, given the noise pollution that happens to me there, that's a good thing.

-

I love my walkbike excursions. I pack my backpack (the agony that it takes to pack it is worth it), I search for a hidden copse, and I try and focus on breathing. It's hard. Breathing, yeah.

Still on my crusade against meditation. My cheat code is that I use the 4-7-8 breath method, twice a day, as my meditation and call it that and I guess it helps. It definitely does not hurt.

As I rode my bike home rather, I admit, offensively, I came to Atlas and Earlsdale and a construction worker with hearing protection on started blasting the concrete whilst smoking a cigarette and wearing shades. My poor ears are still hurting.

I grazed myself with a bike pedal because I was disoriented from the harsh noise the metal on concrete was making.

I resolved to hit up 311 and complain, but because the THC is starting to hit, I decided to come here instead and hit publish, of course.

A strobe visual cascade

The cascade of tears falls down and I write it down and shrug my shoulders up as I atlasizse the situation. It's pain incarnate - gluten. 

If i stop and stare at my words, I mesmierize myself into obvlivion. I don't even know how else to explain it.

And i go back to the kitchen to drown my sorrows in more delicious food from FF...

---

Continued the next morning...

I log onto the machine. I turn the music down. I turn the brightness up. I browse, I browse, I absorb, I reflect.

I end up in the early reaches of the internet.

Tears well up. Tears well up as I raise my covered hands to my face in exhausted exasperation at the state of my brain connections.

The brutalist thinking overwhelms. I cry. I cry because i am alone, and I am not alone.

Spurred on by: https://www.deviantart.com/ayyasap

Un monde avec un magicien

 2g té correct; phoque métaphore production !

Raw footage of Cedarvale this morning...

Other friends (of Cedarvale); where are you? Why does no one seem to care?! Big trucks blocking my way through a footpath with no one around to explain why, and no signage anywhere except the -traumatic- "kidnapped" ones. Way to -ruin- my morning walk, ugh.

LOUD MUSIC WARNING:

List of incredibly annoying entities/corporations/whathaveyou

Decided to write this bolded part after airing out this dirty laundry. I will not skim what I've written and will publish this when I'm done, not caring about consequences because this place has copyright protection and is thus protected under some sort of Canadian "free speech" law.

• Microsoft Corporation - for ruining Overwatch 2 even more
• Holt Renfrew - for having horrific return business practices (and prices)
• NVidia - for testing untested technology on unsuspecting Canadians
• Microstrategy - for hoarding Bitcoin, thus killing the spirit of it
• Tencent Holdings - for fucking up my fave games with dark patterns (Pokémon Unite, PoE etc.)
• Apple - for being an impediment to the right-to-repair in Europe
• Blizzard-Activision - for being greedy as fk over many years
• Ubisoft - for ruining Rayman
• EA Games - for investing way too much into MOCAP
• Kaleidoughscope Enterprises Inc. - for not being incorporated yet
• The smol web - for being way too damn small and sucking at speling
• NBA - for ruining the spirit of the game by allowing way too much "gratuitous" advertising space to be allocated to betting/gambling companies
• The Canadian government - for failing to protect its french population from discrimination
• The Ontario government - for being a complete shitshow of garbage policies that hurt everyone (environmental, fiscal, political - you name it: I am not voting, nor am I voting conservative. maybe)
• The calendar system for making me angry about politics... on a WEDnesday?
• Warner Music/Universal music/EMI etc. - for being one of far too many entities that control the way music is listened to for the masses
• The TPL - for taking over six months to recover from a cyberattack that should not have happened in the first place
• The UofT - St. George: for being a terrible school to study if you're an older undergrad student
• Dalhousie University - for failing to follow up with me on my informal studies
• All the goddamn people speeding on a residential street where kids are trying to play sports
• The city councilor where I live, who promised to allow people to play sports in the street and has clearly reneged on his promise. I will say, however, that this is ultimately Ford & his dead brother's fault
• WealthSimple/Simpletax - for making me feel insecure with filing my taxes. Why would I file with a private wealth management firm, and why would the Federal government recommend that in the first place? What the hell?
• Vaughan Road Academy - for not teaching me how assets work very well
• Central Technical School - for leading me onto a slippery slope
• VIA Rail - for testing out digital canadian currency on unsuspecting travellers
  
• The Royal Canadian Mint - for having at least one hella confusing accessibility document
• iTunes/Apple again - for having way too many useless options, removing useful shit like the AUX cable, and deprecating old OS' even though they function beautifully
• Microsoft again - for not giving a shit about the gaming industry: can't even format their earnings report properly to show they even care about investors who care about gaming i.e. me
• MMM - for not selling gluten-free-certified duct tape (yes, I am serious)
  
• Nom Nom Paleo - for getting endorsements from random celebrities to push sugary paleo foods on suspecting Canadians
• The Primal Blueprint - for not having a working website for much of 2024 and selling out to mega-corporation(s)
• Uncle Sam - for causing World War III
• Me, according to my parents and many neighbours
• Le Centre Francophone de Toronto - for not having bilingual support in a timely manner
• Tout Le Monde Veut Prendre Sa Place, conçu avec Effervescence: pour avoir a musical chime so annoying that it bothers my sleep schedule
• Radio-Canada/CBC: for promoting gambling during a goddamn playoffs Leafs game
• The Canadian Liberal government: for not giving us mixed-member proportional representation first
• The Canadian Conservative opposition (fuck the conventions, Missus Speaker): for seemingly not helping with the adoption of Bitcoin
• The Canadian NDP: for not supporting Trudeau enough in standing up to Modi, other major world leaders (except Trump obv.)
  
• The Canadian Green Party: for having terrible leadership and confusing environmental policies
• The PPP: for misleading people with confusing fiat science
• My MPP: for not ensuring safe roadways for pedestrians
• Elections Canada: for having inaccurate french versions of English websites
• Her Majesty's Voice: for selling me WoW: Cataclysm a year+ after release (a big purchase regret of mine)
• The sun: for not being there the other day in April
• The moon: for not being there often at night because of the city lights
• The city/corporation of Toronto: for being completely oblivious to human woes
• Steam: for holding my games library hostage edit 2024/07/21: for keeping it secure
  
• GeForce Now: for holding my games library hostage
• Microsoft: for not being a blue chip, apparently
• EA Games: for holding my games library hostage
• Ubisoft: for holding my games library hostage & not teaching me English well enough
• Dragon's Den shop: for not being easy to find online
• Dans l'oeil du dragon: pour avoir tellement de cochonneries à vendre qui ne sont pas particulièrement utile

ƒreewrite fhte ish

When a title is messed up, you know the sleep is going downhilll. Oh sure, i feel all globular and sticky and warm and cozy, and then the fear of paramores lyrics comes ruhing through; who are yo gu gonna talk to when youre in your bubble. like, ok, sure, maybe liek i could try moving out and having sex somewhere else than toronto, but like, its not fair of you to assume that i dont like mamking money on sundays. maybe the scriptures, the biblesweere wrong. after all monotheism is still omnipresent unofrtounately and its very dfiffifcult for the priestrabbis to do their work when scientceffereak geeks are there to observe them relentelsssly.

if course, if published, published, lpublhsing will happen, so almost certainly i wll publish this without even editing it. y

eyp, the content mature warning is up now. thats good. WEEED TALK AND SHIZ. 25+ IN ONTARIO, YEP, BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE UR ID.

boy, i should go with the oll option edit: not necessarily (next day edit...). no tricks or tricks heree. a regular old popll, like the ehalla loely one i had when ibuilt the post that was suppoed to show me a goodt im einunivetsiy(Which I did have today, actually, - the random ass hobo palestine encamants).

I have been nothing bu prvocative. this is what Hindu GSC is all about. hashy, hasy undertones. just hasshhhhh. and this tinymight is all clogged up now and thats annoying, but not nearly as annoying as then the mighty would clog. honestly, im not under any NDA. havent been for years.

honestly, honesty is underrated stilll.

Foodscapade white

Loosely inspired by my detailed reading of this excellent article's take on Toronto foods:

A newcognizant taste like a remembered earthy vanilla. Earthy but vanilla-ee. Yup, that's how I would describe my first experience with truffle. Now. I did not pay an exorbitant price for this truffle oil, so to expect a flavour out of this world was not in the plan. And yet, it was unique; oh is it a unique taste. And it leave me wanting more.

Apple. Pink Lady, prolly.

Goat cheese. Yep. Only the very best for this dairy freak.

No maple syrup. No honey. The hardest part, honestly.

Some Astro yogurt. Ah, not organic, not goat or sheep yogurt, but value/price is unmatched.

Cardamom. Ah, always a breeze of freshness in the mouth.

The aforementioned truffle oil. Yup, that's right, it was infused. Yes, dear readers, I admit it: if you're underage, you probably should ask your mummy or daddy if you can read further. I am saying this seriously, despite how childish it might appear. No child wants to have psychoactives thrust upon them.

Anyway, the truffle oil, I am getting high on because it was infused with THC. I love it. I really do. And I'm so glad that these cannabinoids are many and not just few because honestly, it's totally unfair how previous generations get to have all the fun discovering things on the planet while I'm stuck indoors and outdoors ranting about stuff. In other words, I continue to discover more in my mind while I work on grounding myself more with my walking escapades (what the hell; made it to Yorkdale and CostCo yesterday and loitered around trying to catch my bearings and overwhelmed by the speed warriors).

Okay. I will publish this now because my foodscapade is done... for now.

La visite temporelle dans la cuisine intransigeante

L'homme aux cheveux long ("'PLEASE LEAVE! ARRAKKIS IS ON ITS WAY!"') entra dans la cuisine; non pas celle du sport, mais celle de la bouffe.

Ouaip.

La glouttonie.

Je ne suis pas un ange, les mecs. J'aime bien - pardon, j'adore mon nom - mais c'est une fausse supposition de penser que je suis un ange au sens propre i.e. incorporéel. Bon, peux-être un peu trop sans corps, ou peut-être pas assez: je ne le sais plus.

Je marche. Je marche, c'est sûr; et donc je suis rentré dans la cuisine et j'ai mangé un cinquième d'un carré de chocolat Lindt (sans commanditure, je le suis fier, même si je le mentionne ici, le produit même) à 85% pour me donner un lift et je pense que ça à aidé.

Maintenant, je pris pour mon sang européen. Le lactose, ah, le lactose...

For fellow compfused web netizens

Admittedly poor attendance without presence

I finally decided I won't be going back to school this summer. I mean, I would have loved to, but I was irked by the fact that the admissions + accessibility process was painful. Literally, headache-inducing. I figured that my college admission would be far easier to complete than my university application, and I was proven wrong. Two, three, four meetings (some over Zoom - not a fan of the service at all), and they still wanted more out of me. I thought it would be practical. It's too bad, because I was looking forward to travelling across town a few times a week instead of sauntering through the same back-and-forth path that takes me to the south.

Anyway, I'll probably defer my entrance to September, when all the other full-time survivors come in. I figure I'll have a better chance of making it as a full-timer then.

I'll leave this post with this anecdote: a man sat in front of a Zoom meeting. He admired the people who spoke up, and respected the silent listeners and speakers who took their turn when wanting to speak; but on the old computer screen, there was no way to answer a burning question: was my hand raised or not, and if it was, how was I supposed to indicate that it was raised when I could not find the button to do so despite my hand not being raised on screen?

My apologies for the confusing rant; it's one of these posts where I just want to write something down, but I wouldn't call it a freewrite because I came back to this and added many more words to my draft that I must now publish before I lose another ant (i.e. my audience).

Listening to: Murray Perahia, Zubin Mehta & Chopin from a CD that I'm too lazy to go pick up to do due diligence on.

Talked to my dad about Columbia records.

Ignore that shiz

I press backspace once to erase thepossibiity of beings piedon

Deep house is playing. GOnna have to cite again.

As I question how I could possibly have switched - WELL, we have different defintions of freewriting, now don't we?

Went to the fire station recently.

No band aid.

No cap either, but no one nomes ane.

Raptors lost. Nothing new, but it was more embarassing than Iron being near hydrogen (plus, there were fewer systematic errors back then).

It's kind of frustrating how the most stressful times of the year seem to be based on school & work. Like, for example, take September. Change of season, so the birds are stressed out 'cause they gotta get to where they gotta go; the kids are all prepped up with plastic backpacks; and then, the full-timers are getting ready for another fiscal quarter.

I refuse to edit for the moment. I'll actually publish this, then worry about a speling mistake somewhere, and come back here somehere in time (I said I'd find you again; I gotta take a break from singing).

Fan Expo should be good this year. Probably gonna go alone again at this rate.

a^3+b^2+c=0 =/ y=mx+b =/ f(x) = 1

Foggy day morning upload

once the moss you're livin' under

disappears

the noise that you'll hear

is the crashing down of Hollow Years

-Dream Theater(ish)

 

Kinda sick of plants, man.