Read me maybe

Hey. I've always known you. And this is crazy! But here's my hotlink... so read me maybe!
It's hard to read you right; you're so cool baaaby, but here's my hotlink... so read me maybe!
Before you strolled into my life I missed you so bad; I missed you so bad, I missed you so, so bad!
Before you linked to my site I missed you so bad; and you should know that! I missed you so, so bad!
It's hard to read you right; you're so cool baaaby, but here's my number... so call me maybe!
And all the other bloggy girlssss, try to chase meeeee-


So I take it you're in a good mood?
WTF where did you come from?

You're my boyfriend!
Whoa... wait what? I have a girlfriend? You're joking right?

Who said you had a girlfriend?
Oh... You're starting to sound a lot like GladOS. You know who that is right?

Yeah, she likes to open portals and she's pretty mean. I'm much cooler!
Well... ANYWAY... Here I was, about to happily dedicate a post to Sgt. Kaleidoughscope's Lonely Hearts Club Blog. Because of course, that's what this place used to be called before it eventually turned into A Kaleidoughscope of Writings. A much better title, no?

Yes, and it also doesn't infringe on any copyrights.
That's always a plus.

So what are you going to do today, Gabriel?
If you must know, I'm going to finally finish that damn book report right before it's due. I also just came back from a bike ride 'cause it's sunny and-

Did you just openly admit to liking the sun?!
I complain about not seeing stars all night long so I figure I might as well not take the one I get to see practically daily for granted.

YAY! Let's go dance and sing and be merry and drink stupid wine-
Whoa whoa whoa, easy there. I have to finish my book report! Also, negative points for practically quoting Noah and the Whale.


:( This whole post is practically gushing about how much you love Carly Rae Jepsen!
:S ANYWAY, here's something that ought to add some spice to both our lives:

Remember this doozy? I posted it more than four years ago. I'm at a 1 right now.

Wow! You even labeled your axes!
Not very well mind you, but I think you get the gist of it. I think with my little goatee now, I might be pushing 30 once my hair grows out again...

So, ready for your next decree?
Sure.

Spiritual Decree #4: Lessen the use of sarcasm in your daily and online life unless you're actually being funny.
Ooooh I like this one. No really, I do! And it won't be too hard to follow this 'cause I've been practicing for a little while now. But occasionally, you meet that one person who is just so naive and-

Stop right there criminal scum!
Alright alright, no more sarcasm. Or as I like to explain it, it's time to close the sar-chasm.

Har har har.
HEY THAT WAS SARCASTIC!

The decrees are for you; not for me - I'm pretty much perfect.
Ugh, fine.

Last comment for today: What song were you just listening to?
You ain't seen nothing yet - Bachman Turner Overdrive. And then Nirvana came on and suddenly I really want to skip All Apologies. WOOHOOOO HIGHWAY STARRRRRRRRR!

:D