A strobe visual cascade

The cascade of tears falls down and I write it down and shrug my shoulders up as I atlasizse the situation. It's pain incarnate - gluten. 

If i stop and stare at my words, I mesmierize myself into obvlivion. I don't even know how else to explain it.

And i go back to the kitchen to drown my sorrows in more delicious food from FF...

---

Continued the next morning...

I log onto the machine. I turn the music down. I turn the brightness up. I browse, I browse, I absorb, I reflect.

I end up in the early reaches of the internet.

Tears well up. Tears well up as I raise my covered hands to my face in exhausted exasperation at the state of my brain connections.

The brutalist thinking overwhelms. I cry. I cry because i am alone, and I am not alone.

Spurred on by: https://www.deviantart.com/ayyasap

Un monde avec un magicien

 2g té correct; phoque métaphore production !

Raw footage of Cedarvale this morning...

Other friends (of Cedarvale); where are you? Why does no one seem to care?! Big trucks blocking my way through a footpath with no one around to explain why, and no signage anywhere except the -traumatic- "kidnapped" ones. Way to -ruin- my morning walk, ugh.

LOUD MUSIC WARNING:

List of incredibly annoying entities/corporations/whathaveyou

Decided to write this bolded part after airing out this dirty laundry. I will not skim what I've written and will publish this when I'm done, not caring about consequences because this place has copyright protection and is thus protected under some sort of Canadian "free speech" law.

• Microsoft Corporation - for ruining Overwatch 2 even more
• Holt Renfrew - for having horrific return business practices (and prices)
• NVidia - for testing untested technology on unsuspecting Canadians
• Microstrategy - for hoarding Bitcoin, thus killing the spirit of it
• Tencent Holdings - for fucking up my fave games with dark patterns (Pokémon Unite, PoE etc.)
• Apple - for being an impediment to the right-to-repair in Europe
• Blizzard-Activision - for being greedy as fk over many years
• Ubisoft - for ruining Rayman
• EA Games - for investing way too much into MOCAP
• Kaleidoughscope Enterprises Inc. - for not being incorporated yet
• The smol web - for being way too damn small and sucking at speling
• NBA - for ruining the spirit of the game by allowing way too much "gratuitous" advertising space to be allocated to betting/gambling companies
• The Canadian government - for failing to protect its french population from discrimination
• The Ontario government - for being a complete shitshow of garbage policies that hurt everyone (environmental, fiscal, political - you name it: I am not voting, nor am I voting conservative. maybe)
• The calendar system for making me angry about politics... on a WEDnesday?
• Warner Music/Universal music/EMI etc. - for being one of far too many entities that control the way music is listened to for the masses
• The TPL - for taking over six months to recover from a cyberattack that should not have happened in the first place
• The UofT - St. George: for being a terrible school to study if you're an older undergrad student
• Dalhousie University - for failing to follow up with me on my informal studies
• All the goddamn people speeding on a residential street where kids are trying to play sports
• The city councilor where I live, who promised to allow people to play sports in the street and has clearly reneged on his promise. I will say, howevper, that this is ultimately Ford & his dead brother's fault
• WealthSimple/Simpletax - for making me feel insecure with filing my taxes. Why would I file with a private wealth management firm, and why would the Federal government recommend that in the first place? What the hell?
• Vaughan Road Academy - for not teaching me how assets work very well
• Central Technical School - for leading me onto a slippery slope
• VIA Rail - for testing out digital canadian currency on unsuspecting travellers
  
• The Royal Canadian Mint - for having at least one hella confusing accessibility document
• iTunes/Apple again - for having way too many useless options, removing useful shit like the AUX cable, and deprecating old OS' even though they function beautifully
• Microsoft again - for not giving a shit about the gaming industry: can't even format their earnings report properly to show they even care about investors who care about gaming i.e. me
• MMM - for not selling gluten-free-certified duct tape (yes, I am serious)
  
• Nom Nom Paleo - for getting endorsements from random celebrities to push sugary paleo foods on suspecting Canadians
• The Primal Blueprint - for not having a working website for much of 2024 and selling out to mega-corporation(s)
• Uncle Sam - for causing World War III
• Me, according to my parents and many neighbours
• Le Centre Francophone de Toronto - for not having bilingual support in a timely manner
• Tout Le Monde Veut Prendre Sa Place, conçu avec Effervescence: pour avoir a musical chime so annoying that it bothers my sleep schedule
• Radio-Canada/CBC: for promoting gambling during a goddamn playoffs Leafs game
• The Canadian Liberal government: for not giving us mixed-member proportional representation first
• The Canadian Conservative opposition (fuck the conventions, Missus Speaker): for seemingly not helping with the adoption of Bitcoin
• The Canadian NDP: for not supporting Trudeau enough in standing up to Modi, other major world leaders (except Trump obv.)
  
• The Canadian Green Party: for having terrible leadership and confusing environmental policies
• The PPP: for misleading people with confusing fiat science
• My MPP: for not ensuring safe roadways for pedestrians
• Elections Canada: for having inaccurate french versions of English websites
• Her Majesty's Voice: for selling me WoW: Cataclysm a year+ after release (a big purchase regret of mine)
• The sun: for not being there the other day in April
• The moon: for not being there often at night because of the city lights
• The city/corporation of Toronto: for being completely oblivious to human woes
• Steam: for holding my games library hostage edit 2024/07/21: for keeping it secure
  
• GeForce Now: for holding my games library hostage
• Microsoft: for not being a blue chip, apparently
• EA Games: for holding my games library hostage
• Ubisoft: for holding my games library hostage & not teaching me English well enough
• Dragon's Den shop: for not being easy to find online
• Dans l'oeil du dragon: pour avoir tellement de cochonneries à vendre qui ne sont pas particulièrement utile
  
• Tout le monde en parle: pour avoir eue des agendas psychiatriques extrêmement violent
• Black Mirror: for being one of the most horrific Netflix shows to ever exist -> still think "Nosedive" is the only relatively "safe" one FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
• Netflix & Blockbuster: for promoting garbage to the population in the interest of money-making
• Rap music: for sometimes being violent
• Rock music: for sometimes being violent
• Metal music: for being way too underground for no goddamn reason
• Trance music: for being annoying to my family members sometimes
• Katimavik: for forcing people to making BREAD. DOUGH.
• Indigo: for making it incredibly difficult (for me) to redeem a gift card, but super easy to enter your payment info and to buy another gift card
  

I. FUCKING. HATE. BREAD.

STOP.

MAKING

IT

WITH

WHEAT & OTHER GRAINS AND YOU WILL FEEL BETTER SOMEDAY. MAYBE.

YES, THIS IS HEALTH ADVICE FOR ME, GABRIEL GERVAIS-HOULE, LITERALLY THE ONLY PERSON WHO HAS CONTRIBUTED TO THIS BLOG IN ANY MEANINGFUL WAY THIS YEAR (CO-AUTHORS - where the hell are you guys?)

Anyway. Caps lock is still cruise control for awesome in 2024; maybe.

June 8th 2024 edit: You know what, I'm going to keep this one updated and add to it, starting now.

July 21st 2024 edit: Crossed out some things, added two words in french & English (after the jump break)

August 21st 2025 edit: hey I'm still alive the Fan Expo is going on there's a new PoE league I still don't care much for around the corner, I'm looking forward to cannabis in the mail and this post, when I stumble upon it, always grabs my attention so I tried to edit the strike through up there somewhere but blogger on my OnePlus does not appear to let you do that so I thought I would just write an editdate here and I might plot one again someday okay (not a telegram) bye

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