Read me maybe

Hey. I've always known you. And this is crazy! But here's my hotlink... so read me maybe!
It's hard to read you right; you're so cool baaaby, but here's my hotlink... so read me maybe!
Before you strolled into my life I missed you so bad; I missed you so bad, I missed you so, so bad!
Before you linked to my site I missed you so bad; and you should know that! I missed you so, so bad!
It's hard to read you right; you're so cool baaaby, but here's my number... so call me maybe!
And all the other bloggy girlssss, try to chase meeeee-


So I take it you're in a good mood?
WTF where did you come from?

You're my boyfriend!
Whoa... wait what? I have a girlfriend? You're joking right?

Who said you had a girlfriend?
Oh... You're starting to sound a lot like GladOS. You know who that is right?

Yeah, she likes to open portals and she's pretty mean. I'm much cooler!
Well... ANYWAY... Here I was, about to happily dedicate a post to Sgt. Kaleidoughscope's Lonely Hearts Club Blog. Because of course, that's what this place used to be called before it eventually turned into A Kaleidoughscope of Writings. A much better title, no?

Yes, and it also doesn't infringe on any copyrights.
That's always a plus.

So what are you going to do today, Gabriel?
If you must know, I'm going to finally finish that damn book report right before it's due. I also just came back from a bike ride 'cause it's sunny and-

Did you just openly admit to liking the sun?!
I complain about not seeing stars all night long so I figure I might as well not take the one I get to see practically daily for granted.

YAY! Let's go dance and sing and be merry and drink stupid wine-
Whoa whoa whoa, easy there. I have to finish my book report! Also, negative points for practically quoting Noah and the Whale.


:( This whole post is practically gushing about how much you love Carly Rae Jepsen!
:S ANYWAY, here's something that ought to add some spice to both our lives:

Remember this doozy? I posted it more than four years ago. I'm at a 1 right now.

Wow! You even labeled your axes!
Not very well mind you, but I think you get the gist of it. I think with my little goatee now, I might be pushing 30 once my hair grows out again...

So, ready for your next decree?
Sure.

Spiritual Decree #4: Lessen the use of sarcasm in your daily and online life unless you're actually being funny.
Ooooh I like this one. No really, I do! And it won't be too hard to follow this 'cause I've been practicing for a little while now. But occasionally, you meet that one person who is just so naive and-

Stop right there criminal scum!
Alright alright, no more sarcasm. Or as I like to explain it, it's time to close the sar-chasm.

Har har har.
HEY THAT WAS SARCASTIC!

The decrees are for you; not for me - I'm pretty much perfect.
Ugh, fine.

Last comment for today: What song were you just listening to?
You ain't seen nothing yet - Bachman Turner Overdrive. And then Nirvana came on and suddenly I really want to skip All Apologies. WOOHOOOO HIGHWAY STARRRRRRRRR!

:D

Full lustre poetry

Sometimes I feel like my best friends are total strangers
Sometimes I feel like total strangers don't want to be my friend

Sometimes I feel like music's telling me to leave
Sometimes I feel like leaving music out of it

Sometimes I like to pretend like I know what the word love is supposed to be
Sometimes I pretend to have to care about her


She's elusive, but only because I'm more elusive than her
She's confident because she wants to be there for me

Flowing like a river; cool and remote like a dancing girl
Burning me with fire; hot in proximity like a flame

The poet and the pendulum sway with each other;
they know how to swing
from one life
to another.

Choosing De Cree

Hi!
Oh, it's -you- again. Well, I'm doing well on the junk food front, if you must know.

Good, I was hoping you'd say that.
Yeah, it's pretty hard though, because there's so much junk food everywhere I go.

Just remember that you have no idea where that stuff comes from or what that stuff is, really. Just because it tastes good doesn't mean it should go in your mouth.
I hate corporate interests that intervene with regular human life in order to profit off of desperate-

Ooookay, we're going to steer clear of that idea for now; your aim is to find your own sense of happiness, remember?
Right, right. As Lux would say, "Stay positive! ^_^".

Since you're actively trying to respect the decrees, I'll give you a choice for today as a present. Sleep or activity?
Oh, let's go for sleep. I've been plagued with sleep troubles since my teenage years. I'm kind of going to miss my erratic sleep patterns though... you meet the strangest and most interesting people at the dead hours of the night. It's the dark-after, after all, where human nature gets decomposed like my compost bin on Monday nights.

Right-o.
Spiritual decree #3: Go to bed before 1 am, every night of the week. Your aim is 11 pm, but this will take a while given your present love affair with going to bed at, shall we say, ungodly hours.
Am I right in assuming that this decree is flexible; for example, if I'm out partying at a friend's place?

Partying? Your goal is to be happy, not to have fun!
WHAT?

Just kidding! Of course this one's flexible, but it's really important to respect it as much as possible. There are very few things more essential to mammals than sleep. Sanity starts with good sleep patterns and you know that.
Yeah, I knew that. Sometimes it's fun to feel a little wonky! I suppose I am guilty of being a little -too- wonky sometimes...

Je sais, mon amour.
Whoa whoa whoa, let's not get into pet names now. Also, why are you in red now?

Because I love you.
ಠ_ಠ

Okay! See you next time!
Enthusiasm, thou art a bitch.

Watch your language!
This is MY blog you know!

:)


Karma Aspiration Langune Entité Iodinement Dérive Oisellerie Ulysse Guimauve Hurlement Salutaire Citronelle Ophilia Perspicace Ettore 

Musical Decree

Hi. It's me again.
Oh god, what now.

Did you manage not to each junk food since last night?
I... I don't know...  It all happened so fast...

What do you mean?
It was 3 am and I was practically starving... and that box of cheerios, with the cute bee and little crispy round things... I just couldn't stop myself.

Stop yourself from...?
OKAY OKAY I ADMIT MY DEED! I ATE A WHOLE BOWL OF DELICIOUS HONEY NUT CHEERIOS WITH A COPIOUS AMOUNT OF 3.25% MILK LATE LAST NIGHT BECAUSE I COULDN'T SLEEP.

Anything else you care to confess?
This is starting to get creepy. I had a few bites of chocolate Haagen-Dazs and a bit of sorbet, but otherwise I'm clean today, I swear!

Good job!
Gee.. thanks?

Are you ready for your next ordinance?
Why do you have to act so formal? Yes I'm ready. I think I did okay on the first decree. You kind of remind me of someone from the fifth Harry Potter book, though...

I'm much nicer than that evil witch.
Yeah, and a little more sentient, too...

Spiritual decree #2: Play your djembe at least a few times per week at first, then augment to at least 10 minutes per day during daylight.
Hmm, I think I could do that. Do tell me, Guardian Angel, Spiritual Protector, whatever... What is the importance of this decree?

Well, music has massive healing powers, especially the drum because it's probably one of the most ancient instruments known to man. It fuels your soul in ways that no amount of Justin Bieber babies ever will, because it acts just like an external heartbeat to guide you. I'm not asking you to go to drum circles and solo (which would be super cool and you know it!), but just hearing a rhythm daily can bring a happy cadence to your life.


Solid. Sooo... should I start right now?
No. At this hour, you'll wake up the old lady next door to you that you've been using as an excuse not to practice. During the daytime and with spring approaching, there's no better time to commit to improving your musical talents, and you know it!


I think your enthusiasm is rubbing off on me. I hate it when that happens...
Cheer up buttercup!


Karma Aspiration Langune Entité Iodinement Dérive Oisellerie Ulysse Guimauve Hurlement Salutaire Citronelle Ophilia Perspicace Ettore