Free writing: Segment the Third

Listen listen to the loneliness that is expressed by the fake recommendation that you spied on the other day, Gabriel. I did not discover it, I hardly discover things they are brought to me by the overexposed internet machine. Should I wish to be anything I want, I can be a semblance of my possibility of being simply by writing words that no one needs to read.

Jealousy jealousy does not affect me nearly as it used to but it still hurts and the pain is diminishing as I write. The blow it hits, but my armor absorbs and releases it through mediums that not everyone cares to understand. She, she could be anybody, but why does it have to be _____? I love her, but love is not as charismatic as it could be. If I philosophize too much I start to quantify the love - what if the love "produced" by those two outweighs the possibility of love betwixt the two of us? The certainty starts to grow on me, the music starts to get louder, is that the bridge? I don't like the music terms, I'd much rather make my own, but no one would be able to jam with me.

Jam? Have I ever jammed? I have jammed, but I also dislike the word, it shouldn't be pretentious but to me it is. No, still I cling on to the jealousy. I want to feel the jealousy, I do not want to act on it. I've already forgotten about the music, still she drifts back in my mind. The possibility of a dreamworld where she could be everything I want her to be... no, that's wrong, I did not want to write that. I shall try again. The possibility of a dreamworld where she could be whatever she wishes to be and as a secondary effect she could make me happy haunts me.

The clenching has begun, is it anxiety? Anxiety is an ugly word, almost as ugly as Zyprexa, but I'll take the former billions of light years before the latter, as a choice. The sadness grows, but it is contained by my health.

NO, NO, ENOUGH BIOLOGY. I still love her, I will always love her, only she can define the love for me, and I will not have to think anymore.

I could write on and on and on about what I feel for her. But I am afraid. I am so afraid of losing her because of my overdeveloped indecision.

My sentences grow shorter, my nostalgia grows stronger.

I miss you, _____.
A---y

Blackberry outage

I don't usually like to comment on current affairs, but am I the only one happy with the fact that the BBM network has been down for a little while?
Granted, I don't own a Blackberry, and I don't pay obscene amounts of money every month to use their service, but seeing the cries of people so desperately attached to their precious Blackberry Messenger make me... happy.
Don't misunderstand me, I'm not happy about the fact that people are stressed out. I'm happy because this is an event that might allow certain people to reflect on their reliance on always being connected. Why do you always need to be up to date the moment something happens to someone else? I can see the use in emergency situations, but I don't believe that always being connected through things like cellphones 24/7 is a good thing.

I think I come from a pretty good angle: I myself can easily admit to being almost addicted to the internet. Not in the present, but most definitely in the past.

---

To sprutz things up in this post today, here's a picture of my supper tonight.
Despite what you might instinctively think, everything on the plate is quite healthy, except for the ketchup.

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Adventure travel

A quick post, for I must get to bed.

Midnight isn't usually a late time for me, but I've stopped going to bed at obscenely unhealthy hours of the night.

And you know what, my fear that this would hamper my writing creativity has not materialized.

Most of my blog posts have been made during the darkness of the night.

I rarely blog during the daytime. I think that's because I've always considered the moon to be a source of inspiration for me.

But that's pretty flawed logic on my part, I can't even see the moon from inside this basement lair.

Vitamin D definitely helps get my creative juices flowing.

Now to the topic of this post:

I'm going on a little travel expedition again! And this time, it will be better planned and more local. I'm staying in Ontario; going north, then southwest.

I leave on the 21st. I won't be away for months, probably no more than a couple weeks.

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Hashtag

What. The. F.

Has anyone else noticed that it's now commonplace for Twitter users in real conversations with real people (i.e. not Twitter "conversations") to randomly blurt out "hashtag __insert noun/verb etc. here__"?

I'll admit, I'm not a Twitter user. Yes, I know how it works. No, I don't plan on being a Twitterer (tweeter?) anytime soon.

I did fine for a while without Facebook, but I'll admit that Facebook is useful for giving some semblance of organization in one's social life.

Twitter has its uses, but I don't want to open up yet another social media portal to get myself lost in. Simple.

So while it is quite true that internet references often find their way into casual conversations when you're with friends (WHAT 9000?!), I'm not sure I'd like my conversations with people degenerating into broken Twitter banter.

To give an example, I was meeting with some friends at a pub last night. I don't remember exactly what we were talking about, but it had something to do with obnoxious people. And surely enough, N yells out "hashtag obnoxious!", which is somewhat ironic. It was somewhat funny.

And somewhat unnerving.

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