Listen up, K-Canata (vs the "world"...)
As I grew older and settled into the high-schoolness, I still had that vision of wanting to go to university, but never quite enough drive for it, and that was apparent not only to me, but the people who cared for/about me. Then came a childhood teenager's worst nightmare - all great friends (many whom would only consider themselves acquaintances) split up and scattered all over Canada (and no doubt, many other friends of mine split up within their own respective countrys, too) for various reasons, with the most common element being schooling. Being the communication being that I am, I looked and turned to other friends, who were equally great, and absorbed myself into their worlds to soothe mine, all the while slowly forgetting about friendships forged in friendly environments.
And some of these people who I still consider -friends- were once secret lovers of mine, though my brain cruelly hid those possibilities away from me, embarrassed that my body couldn't possibly cope with feelings of love. In such a way, cruelty was a part of my being, and it was an unconscious suffering that acquaintances would have noticed, but knowing not how to help, they had not much choice but to continue along their own paths.
My words will never be enough to satisfy my creativity, but experience can come save me (again, outside of the confines of an incredible program, aptly named, Katimavik).
Here's my idea: I want to study, I want to study everything! I still don't know exactly what, for the purposes of the schoolers, I should apply for/to. Philosophy seems like the simplest category for me to explore, and yet it seems so restricted by others' creativity that may or may not interfere with mine. I don't like conflicts, but I feel like they're necessarily part of existence...).
There are so many places I want to study though, I have friends on the west coast, I have friends on the east coast, I have friends on the north coast, I have friends on the south coast, all with different ideas and with different perspectives on how their studies go. I've already applied in the past to a few universities in Ontario, but even if I had been accepted, would I have been content knowing that those three (UofT, York, Ryerson, for the record) were, at first, the only options I was considering?
Damn, this isn't concise enough! Let me reiterate my idea: I want to see and travel through different places of learning (academic or otherwise, preferrably places of academia, just like Vaughan Road Academy) so that I can find a place that resonates the most with me (in this process, I'd be learning anyway).
I lack the money to do this fantasy/dream/reality of mine. I have lots of talents (I've been singing/dancing with music a lot, for example, and I think I've abandoned some of my previous shynesses), but I'd need some groupies (a rock band?!) to keep me in check.
I need a funder, or a fundraiser, one of my last fears.
I need more space to continue this monologuous conversation.
(Don't hurt me, linguists, I love you!)
I wish I had my International Baccalaureate diploma.
TO. BE. CONTINUED.
Ad infinitum.
Karma Aspiration Linger Entity Iodinic Daringless Overcast Ulysses Grievous Hawt Spectre Citronelle Ophilia Philharmonikally EyeFUL
Postscript
I have creativity, so much creativity.
FUCK Eat, pray, love.
Cuisine, love, text and resonance FOR THE WIN! (I'll probably improve on this combination sometime, I'm tired, I hate bedtime).
P. S. Someone wanna pay my phone bill?! 55 a month... But I have freedom to have nationwide calling in Canada, and that's friggin' sweet! I'll offer some inventory creativity in return.
P.P.S. I should probably simplify this blog post like a mathematician to make my proposal easier to follow. Soon...
Sources: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kanada_(disambiguation)
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