Emotional Empathy

So after searching for years online for a way to define myself as a being on this planet, I'm getting closer to figuring out who I am.

One thing that's just clicked is that, according to a prominent psychiatrist, I'm an emotional empath.
It's so true. I filled out this checklist, and I match all the signs.

If you know me, especially if you were in my Katimagroup, you might have noticed that at times, I sort of shut myself down, shut myself away from other people. Laura mode, a being (or other side of me) whom I haven't talked about for years. Well, I started off by letting her take control of me, which wasn't so bad, but it worried a lot of people.

And then I completely shunned her, and I think that was much worse, because I tend to end up in very bad places when I ignore her.

And now I'm accepting her again, though I haven't felt her presence (or her energy) too much recently, because I've been pretty happy. She'll sometimes make an appearance when someone is completely abusive toward me (e.g. yelling, ridiculing me etc.). And I'm glad I have her, because otherwise I might just completely break down and cry.

That's me - Gabriel, an emotional empath.
An emotional empath is someone who is "overly" sensitive, who absorbs the emotions of others. Someone who can listen and listen and keep absorbing others' angers or fears or regrets like a sponge.
That sponge is me. I used to turn to negative coping mechanisms, like overeating and over-smoking to get rid of all those absorbed emotions, but that led me down a very dark path indeed.

But see, being an emotional empath is a good thing if you can handle the "curse". Though I might have been called out for being too sensitive (and at times, even too arrogant), I've also been thanked numerous times for being able to listen - for being able to handle the outburst of energy, violent or otherwise, from another being in distress.

And this is why I might want to work as a shelter - probably as a volunteer, because getting paid for that kind of job seems kind of strange, even though it's almost essential in today's violent world.
And I'd have to be a volunteer, because to work at those places, you need a degree.

I never understand why certain occupations that people are naturally good at require degrees for employment.
Do I really need a piece of paper to tell others that I'm able to listen and be empathetic?

Karma Aspiration Langune Entité Iodinement Dérive Oisellerie Ulysse Guimauve Hurlement Salutaire Citronelle Ophilia Perspicace Ettore

Personal impromptu philosophy

I'm a sociologist. I'm a psychologist. I'm an anthropologist.
I'm a philosopher.
I'm a gamer.
I'm a helpless lover.
Am I a poet
or am I a philosopher?

The following is an extract from my personal "Gaia" journal. There are three sections. And the sociologist in me wants to play a game with you.

If you feel like you're a very pessimistic person, focus on the section that is in blue.
If you feel like you're a very optimistic person, focus on the section that is in red.
If you feel like you're in between both these poles, focus on the section that is in green.

Safe in the light and dark that surround me Free from misery, torture, and pain The learnings and things that haunt me Are links to the past and the future Hope for the future is sometimes lost in the present But never too far away are my loves 

What are loves? What -is- love? When you love someone or something from your heart and soul instead of just as an electrical brain impulse, you create something that is unbound from the chains of reality, the grasps that force you to act or behave in a certain way.

A flower does not flourish without proper nourishment. When the flower flowers, the exuberance it radiates heals and cleanses - an aura of love.

Card of the day: Spirit Ryu - Dragon Type

Karma Aspiration Langune Entité Iodinement Dérive Oisellerie Ulysse Guimauve Hurlement Salutaire Citronelle Ophilia Perspicace Ettore

Serious earth business

Stop consuming so much shiz people! Don't get drunk, get funk'd!

Anyway, a new vlog for all of you. Let me know what you think! I know the lighting could be better, but the overhead lighting that I usually use is too bright for this time of the night.

Also, I'm in love with Lights, the musician. I just bought her first CD, The Listening, (I rarely buy CDs) and I totally loved the feel and style of it.

Have a happy Tuesday evening.

Karma Aspiration Langune Entité Iodinement Dérive Oisellerie Ulysse Guimauve Hurlement Salutaire Citronelle Ophilia Perspicace Ettore

To be part of the League

Hi everyone! Sorry for the last depressing post, I'm feeling much better now. In fact, I'm feeling kawaii now ^_^.

Anyway, I'm a pretty protastic gamer. One of my favourite games, as many of you know already, has been World of Warcraft. I played it a lot in high school.

I found an easier game a couple years ago, aptly called League of Legends, and this game helped me out through many a dark times. Indeed, video games are an excellent place not only for inspiration, but also as a place to destress after dealing with the "real world" for too long. As a side note, I fully oppose SOPA, as it is a ploy for the rich older adults to control the younger generation who know how to deal with internal affairs such as the internet.

Anyway, I finally have a vlog for you readers who have been waiting to see one for years now. It's a pretty big fail though, as my dear mother stumbled into my room right in the middle of the video, so it'll be cut short for now. I also messed up a couple of the voices, but I hope I'm accurate enough.

Welcome to Gabe's University, aka Academia Perspicax.

If you want to play the game I'm discussing in this video with me, just click here and sign up! I'll teach you how to play, even if you think you're a "n00b". :) League of Legends Account Sign Up

Karma Aspiration Langune Entité Iodinement Dérive Oisellerie Ulysse Guimauve Hurlement Salutaire Citronelle Ophilia Perspicace Ettore

The dread of the winter

So yesterday there was a little feast at my parent's place - lots of food and all and some wine, the typical merry gathering.

As much as I enjoy eating chinese food, it's not good for me and I feel dreadful this morning, probably because of all the gluten in the food I ate. So I feel dreadful and lonely, and the whispers of the spirits around me are trying to help but I'm having a hard time believing in the goddesses and deities protecting me.

See, finding your own religion is a continuous quest to check reality against the non-reality of things that your eyes and other "basic" senses cannot see. I'm pretty sure that if I narrow down my spiritual ideas, it can be summed up in the Gaia theory, polytheism, and anything else that can be found in the His Dark Materials series. So why is it so difficult for me to find an easier proof instead of taking words from books and blindly believing in faith alone?

I know there are gateways to different worlds, I've felt them and I've almost certainly experienced life in a whole other universe (the many-worlds theory) and yet I cannot continuously keep trying to find Lyra on my own. My fears haunt me too much, and travelling alone is giving me a feeling of dread.

I just wish the tide would come and find me first.

Karma Aspiration Langune Entité Iodinement Dérive Oisellerie Ulysse Guimauve Hurlement Salutaire Citronelle Ophilia Perspicace Ettore

I don't know where you are

But if you're there
The mild torture I feel can be banished.
Just give me a real phone call, L__A.

http://xkcd.com/40/