my mom's "non-gluten-laden" banana bread.

Call of the play

I feel like a slave; tormented by my habitual forces. There's no one around: I don't know how to find the others. I don't know how to reconnect with society. I haven't been able to make a friend in years...

There's no common sense. There's no space for natural human activity. It's all so... bleak, the future - and I'm a pretty optimistic person, usually - and I just wonder why there's nothing fun. I don't understand the purpose of these bars, condos, salons, restaurants, corner stores - you name it, it's still a very consumerist culture, and I'd rather make my own cocktails, save up for my little bungalow in a safe space somewhere, cook the BEST fking food I know how to make during the seasons, and avoid the temptation of the junk the food corporations sell to me.

Where are the places for card games? Where are the musicians playing music on street corners? Where are the frisbee games in the parks? Naught but dog walkers and city commuters, some busier than the next soul seemingly; stammeringly; through the sleepless nights; the city authoritative soundscape boring like a hot knife through my brain, when I only want to listen to the wind.

I want my good life back, when I felt like the city was alive and brimming with vitality. My youth, I suppose, which I refuse to give up on.

This metropolis has crumbled in front of my very eyes. WTF.

a poet.

Un poéme sans fin

Un terrain en béton parsemé de tâches de couleur sarcelle

Si littéraire; mais sans raison, aucun arc-en-ciel

La fin approche donc

the Volvo weirdness

blogging on the go, on the sidewalk is actually way more exciting than it sounds - and kinda dumb, if you remember the meme of teenager(s?) in NYC texting and falling down a sewer drain.

However, I'm on my way home, and I know these 'walks like the palms of my weathered hands.

I do weird things in private, but they're not like ridiculously weird. The ridiculously weird I probably won't ever get to share on here because I wouldn't remember the details and/or I just wouldn't feel comfortable sharing.

Here's a weird habit I have: when I'm on the sidewalk and I come across a parked Volvo, I do a pretend gesture of putting on a plain ol' 3-point seatbelt and walking on.

It reminds me that the inventor of the seatbelt patent worked at Volvo, and it gives me an imaginary sense of safety in an ever more unsafe megalopolis of roads.

feu sans ignition.

Barely using AI chatbots these days. None consulted for this post: human-written, in other words.

J'en reviens pas. C'est vraiment la première fois - ou quasiment, gotta cover my bases - que je fais un freewrite en français, en ligne, sur mon blogue. Ça m'épate.

Évidemment, je commence par lutter contre lautocorrec', qui va probablement venir bastardizé mon style francophile dévoleppent, qui, bien sûr, est déjà truffé d'erreurs d'orthographes et bien pire, j'en suis sûr et certain!

Quels faux-pas de grammaire vais-je faire ressortir de les recoins de ma tête délinquante; quels faux amis vont sortir de la cabane à glucose de la tête à Gabby; ça existe tu réellement le point-virgule d'Oxford, et est-ce que je viens de l'utiliser? Ais-je vraiment économiser un point d'interrogation avec ma p'tite passe impossible d'écriture non-redigée dans ce paragraphe-ci?

C'est dur à lire, mouais, et que je lutte contre mon téléphone qui pourtant est réglé pour au moins être simili bilingue. Je dis {simili} parce que yé pas trop intelligent mon téléphone parce-que je n'utilise pas en tant que smartphone: c'est à peine si je fais de la photographie dessus. C'est dommage, mais peut être ça va venir de nouveau et je serais content de l'utiliser pour tout ses fonctions.

Bon; je radotte trop, donc je vous quitte et je vous laisse avec une autre photo qui, malheureusement, rempli mon stockage limité sur Google mais ça vaut la peine, je crois.

smol life update.

 im trying something new. lazy writing. not freewriting; just lazy.

what I've been up to lately: not much. lived like a hermit during the past week or so while the cold front swept through. i had fun snow shovelling!

i do a bit of yoga in the mornings now. it had been a while since I had had a regular yoga practice. ill prolly blog about it some more sometime: yoga's always been an easy blogging topic, especially when there's nothing else goin' on in my life.

all I have to do is keep my yoga mat open and ready to go and I just end up on it, doing a couple poses here and there. sometime even difficult ones I don't wanna do like Navasana (boat pose) or Dandasana (staff pose). The warrior poses, I always do.

savasana.

controller of exile

It's cool, the present state of gaming. There are hundreds of thousands of options at this point, including the backlog of obscure games from the 80s onwards.

I still return to Path of Exile, and I was gleeful when I discovered that my old Sentinel Righteous Fire super tanky build from yesteryear was still totally playable and actually super fun to play on controller. 

I didn't have to fiddle around with settings, and I was playing on Standard in the picture above. The controller is an 8BitDo Ultimate.

barring.

You know it's weird. I thought corporations wanted my money - not my time.

Why am I banned from competitive play in Overwatch 2 - and I have been for around a week with no rhyme nor reason for it; yep, 0 explanation nor explication from anyone, anywhere (and no, Reddit is not the solution).

I can't give you the order of likelihood, but I can easily give you a list of valid reasons, even if they are probably not true at the categorical level (but together, are they reasons to ban someone from playing a game they've poured thousands of hours into, with little Impact on said person's wallet?):

I'm too good at the game.

I'm too mean to my teammates.

I cried wolf by reporting too many people for insignificant reasons.

I got reported by the enemy team too often - regardless of reason.

I don't use voice chat.

Xbox, PS, Steam, and Battle.net players teaming up against cloud and Nintendo Switch players because they have different timing or peripherals and banning a minority of players because the majority can.

I complain about the state of the game on Reddit, the official forums, and here;

I'm a MSFT investor and an employee went rogue at Blizzard+ and they have it out for me and they keep me in ELO hell on purpose.

I argued with too many Mercy mains on Twitch and someone called the whambulance again.

I don't use Discord and the system magically knows I fking despise Bluetooth so anytime I boot up the game the system bars me if it detects Bluetooth.

I took 2 days off and I forgot the meta for another year again.

The system thinks I'm Ximming (which I only have once on GeForce Now and that was proof-of-concept for PoE on the telly, not OW related).

I jumped off the map one too many times to Switch heroes.

I got tilted too many times by people refusing to: "get off my main" - or worse, players complaining about someone else playing “their hero“ even though there's dozens to pick from.

I was too toxic my, repeatedly (but again, without knowing why I'm banned, how can I improve?).

There's too many players for the system to handle so they ban some people for fun.

TikTok Moira blew up a server.

Talon is at it again.

Juno is getting revenge for not being a Tank on release.

I play on an iMac 2011.

People forgot how to spell Winston properly, so a monkey went apeshit at Watchpoint: T.Dot and it threw Zenyatta's balancing act off kilter.

The Raptors lost against a losing-streak team and I wasn't able to farm my uber-Uber Elder fragment so the system decided to bar me from competitive because Quick Play is way more fun anyway.

I pissed off too many GMs by reporting the purple glowing name shit on the scoreboard.

The "run away for 5 seconds and get healed for free" meta never left and they know this so the system banned me because they were afraid I was going to hit Plat for the first time and that's not okay because I'm supposed to be a Gold player.

I forgot to pay for Awkward's strata, but I was forgetting to approach from an off angle and I was healing instead of doing moar DMG.

My MIT numbers were too high.

Need I go on?

The problem is I was starting to collect the special competitive points for the jade weapons, and there's a competitive event going on right now that I can't participate in because, well, the reason is unclear but it just makes me feel like shit that out of all the times I can't participate in an event, now it's because some loser teenagers deemed me to be unfit to play "just a videogame".

Reinventing the rulebooks seems to be par for the course in my life: I start to get good at something (e.g. badminton) and they not only reinvent the fucking score system (fuck rally point 21!) or - and this is so much worse - they reinvent the sport altogether to "even the playing field" with all the losers who destroyed their body playing sports instead of playing full-time mental, psychophysical-spiritual healthcare i.e. not choosing to work full-time to afford creeping lifestyles just so that they can loudly - and proudly! - play PICKLEBALL/NOISY TENNIS.

WELL, I'd rather play silent b-ball inside the mech (have yet to get a nat free throw with anyone but like Lució that one time on Nepal).

Peace out, Comp OW2. I'd rather play Backgammon than cry over fake internet pixels that don't give a fuck about my life - and that's saying something, considering I don't even know how to play.

well...

4 sum reason. I know y, the blagging will improve n stuff.

These mental hospitals are starting to dote on me far too surreptitiously.... Kru kru kru....