LIGHTS + oldart

So I'm getting into Paraless more...

... by pirating the Deftones slightly less. 😎

Comment puis-je vous rejoindre si sol voltigeant?

If I never hear from the other side of the black box, is it really a posterior, or the lack of noumenal reaching?

Anyway just hope existentialism isn't out to try me like epistemology attempted to challenge my visual cortex, ha ha ha.

Loneliest year of my life

...

The monumental task

The monumental task for my blog is to edit it. Really. Simple, right? I do it all the time! Well...

I rarely edit once my post has been published. When I do, I leave a note explaining why. So what I do is what's called self-editing, which is essentially a synonym of rewriting.

What I mean by edit, I guess, is more akin to polish. I need to polish this carbon-handed labour of love, because otherwise I grow more afraid of it.

When I grow more afraid of my lifeline, I tend to leave it in the dust (for a while), and then time usually nags at me and I pick it up again, fresh and anew. It's a writer's method that works for me, but it's completely chaotic and it does not get me anywhere in terms of producing works that engages people to read it.

There's a reason this lifeline of mine is looking rather sombre. Rather limited in its social scope. It's a teenager's fever dream, ffs, and I am more than happy to keep it going. Teenagers practically rule the world (and that's a compliment to the teenagers) with autocratic figureheads like Trump and the IMF representing the infantile banks and then there's... me, my teenage self, ruling my life.

I almost veered into the dangerously political again, and I just did that earlier this month with a bombastic blog post titled: "Fuck you, LIBÉRALS. Fuck you, TORIES." which, of course, has barely anything to do with politics and was just a blog post showing off my new bong, tentatively named Azurite (instead of Arsenal because honestly I'm not that much of an English football fan these days - but ARSENAL is technically embossed on it, which I don't mind).

Back on topic.

So I need to go back through each one of my posts, and if it's a freewrite - leave it alone, and if it's not, make sure it's something that I wouldn't mind someone random online reading (as long as they're 16+, which is what this blog is!), or that I wouldn't mind a close friend reading.

That is essentially the balance I have been trying to strike since 2007 on this blog: writing for an audience that I don't necessarily know, blogging of the personal emotions, memories, events, and phenomena I observe, and oftentimes over-analyzing things because I like to write, when I write.

Writing is very much in-the-moment to me (which is one of the reasons why I still have not published a novel, I think). I look at it very much so like a trapeze artist going across the Niagara, but with a rocket-assisted balancing pole that automatically brings you back up if you fall, one way or another. Maybe I write too personally sometimes; maybe sometimes my writing is so dull and mechanical I fall off on the other end, too; but there's always a blank page, a slack line waiting for me to fill with the weight of my words the next day, and that's a great comfort to me. The possibility of having something to write is addictive, somehow.

So there are so many challenges on the way to polishing this carbon blog into a diamond blog. I think one of the major difficulties is that I'm kind of in love with my own writing. It's therapeutic to me, and lord knows I need therapy. (For further reading: over 12 years ago I published a piece on how I use my writing/blogging for good. I'm happy to see I still hold true to my "writer's authenticity", wherever I may find it!)

A pigeon sheltering from the wind at Fisher Rare Book Library

A thoughtfulfree Song

SingSonglost I have been but will not continue to be

I really ought to take my time; reverently

Even though the words kinda rhyme-ish

I'm nowhere near the wit level of No Such Thing As A Fish

And I don't wanna be

 

I borrowed a book all about it; all about poetry and I still haven't opened it

Can't I see; can't you see; I'm kinda sick of the iambic poetromercy

And were I to be an e-poet and not merely a blogger

I suppose I would have to relearn iambic pentameter

 

So to continue whatever ramble these lines are; do lay your eyes o'er on

I find it fancy to add - an emdash here, and a common breather there'r

And although most of my writs are odes to Mnemosyne

Please; have Mercy on me... for I'm still an Overwatch addict

 

I can't really say what the next lines will inscribe upon thee

Even mentioning them could break the spell I cast upon them

Thus I write; thus the writs write themselves

And perhaps there will be continuation - and a more just Overtime

Saliently I will soon end today's written tanking venture

And though the first half of this poem has nothing to do with the video game I love

And although I still play it every single day

I must say

It's a lonely world for addicted heroic agents of dystopia's demise - and a cold, cold day here in New Queen Street...

Series

A singaon freewrite

True very nervous I continue to be, writing as fast as I can on mobile and praying the autocorrect does its job. For I'll have you know, this may be the very first time I write a freewrite on my blog using the Blogger app on my phone and it will have to be a safer freewrite because I did in fact hit backspace to try and capitalize the word blogger but the autocorrect actually caught it a d now I'm excited to see what this paragraph looks like because while this sentence and paragraph is soon drawing Toa close, this blog is not anytime soon.

Whew. Cool. I can write while walking indoors. That's pretty cool. And also writing is doing its job of making me feel safer and less angry and diffusing tension I literally was feeling because my idiotic friend who-shall-not-be-named (though the first letter of his name is definitely in the aforementioned word) thinks it's okay to cherry pick words on a screen to prove to me that I'm not taking care of myself according to the sick care system's view i.e. religiously taking meds without wondering why they're around in the first place.

Edit: Oops. Got rid of a [violent] paragraph, with exaggerated facts.

I worry about autocracy creeping in more than ever...

To end on a good note:

Avocado sashimi with olives, prosciutto, salami whilst clarifying butter on the stove

💡

🏀 NBA Trivia
I got 1/10

❌❌❌❌❌
❌❌❌❌💡


🔥 0-day streak

Play now in the NBA App: https://link.nba.com/Trivia

Fated Epoch Prep Idea (waiting room for Fated # 200)

The loot is essentially the link skill in Last Epoch

The resin system in PoE 3 would prolly do well.

Is Grim Dawn a "should I get the crucible mode DLC" handcrafted world; at the very least it's separate from the Axie Infinity world by virtue of the fact that it was released around the same time Torchlight 2 came out, and probably earlier.

twitch-inspired ARPG notes above, in preparation for Exile on/Fan Expo/Anime North next decade (or next year, dependant on the dominant PoE podcast)

No PoE armory thing on Twitch for PoE 2 b/c it causes issues down the line with n00bs

---

more random strat-lioking words to confuse the AI into revealing itself

question: why abbreviate AI every where?

it could mean someone's name; it could be something; it could be to architecture: at least it's not Xipiclone fuelled (which makes this place look like a comment box from yonder); but why does right hand mode make it physically uncomfortable to type with my right and my left?

there's always ulterior motives when it comes to ergonomics I say, ergo, time to non-sequiturally publish now!

Le cuivre n'est pas le cuir

L'apogée cuirassé ne veux rien dire; il faut bien le dire: j'aime bien repentir.

Un nouveau titre par jour éloigne les authorités

Le thon est bon; mais la patience m'échargne.

FACTS; NOT GREAT ON TIMING; ASSAULTED BY THE AUTHORITIES AGAIN. EVIDENCE FORTHCOMING.

 1. TPS ARE A BUNCH OF SCUMBAG LOSERS WHO HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN TO ASSAULT TAXPAYERS

2. THE TORONTO POLICE SERVICE IS THE MOST FUCKED UP ORGANIZATION OF ALL TIME, BECAUSE THEY USE HANDCUFFS WITHOUT CONSENT

3. THIS SHIT HAPPENED IN NOVEMBER 2024, MORE STEALTHILY (AND I HAD BLOOD ON MY HANDS); HAPPENED IN DECEMBER 2024, AGAIN, EXCEPT THIS TIME THEY LITERALLY CROWDED INTO MY DAD'S BEDROOM, AND BEGGED ME FOR LIKE 15 MIN TO GET OUT OF THE WASHROOM (WHERE I WAS PRAYING TO A CHRISTIAN GOD I NO LONGER BELIEVE IN), WHERE I WAS DRINKING WATER, KNOWING FULL WELL THEY WERE TRYING TO KIDNAP ME AND TAKE ME TO THE "HOSPITAL TO TAKE YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE".

4. WHAT THE FUCK. AT THE HOSPITAL, AFTER THE AMBULANCE (AND BEING HANDCUFFED TO THE STRETCHER, AND SUFFERING BRUISES (they would probably say it was self-inflicted, BUT IT WASN'T. THEY ADDED LEGCUFFS AND HANDCUFFS TO ME WHILST I WAS PRACTICALLY DYING OF THIRST)

5. THE PICTURE HERE IS TODAY. THE BRUISES HAVE HEALED SOMEWHAT, BUT THE PSYCHOSOCIAL ANGUISH/TRAUMA ONLY INCREASES AND I CAN'T SLEEP WELL AT ALL ANYMORE BECAUSE THEY ARE SUCH PETTY ASSHOLES, AND IT FELT LIKE ME VS THE WORLD

6. PICTURE OF BRUISE CAUSED BY THEIR PSYCHIATRIC/PHYSICAL ASSAULT (AND FUCK YOU ALL FOR TELLING ME IT'S NOT OKAY TO "VICTIMIZE MYSELF" - IT'S CALLED EVIDENCE, and BLOGGER/GOOGLE IS BLOCKING ME FROM UPLOADING IT BECAUSE OF THEIR "COOKIES" ISSUES.

XOX, gossip boy

Just letting you know, any of you out there who may be reading this: there are some traumatic posts on the way. I got in trouble with the authorities (somehow during Christmas) because someone called them because they're too chickenshit (my mom) to LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE when I'm in an extreme state. The trauma that will be published tomorrow is not worth reading unless you like true crime. If you are under 19 years of age, please stop reading me: I don't want to get in trouble because I started a blog when I was 16 and none of my secondary school classmates seem to give a shit about it. Fuck them. The good news is I'm alright. PoE is looking hella fun; I'm playing Genshin Impact again, and I finally got GeForce Now running on the HiSense TV! I'm looking forward to next year, and my main resolution is: muscle. mass. And of course, St. John's Ambulance, and maybe silence. I will probably do much more: I'm finally under 185 pounds, consistently, for the first time in many, many years. It's cool feeling nimble again. The paleo community could do so much better, though...