Marijuana trip

I was walking through Trinity Bellwoods park today, looking for a discreet place to do my business, and nothing happened.

The park was empty.

I saw no more than three human beings, and no less than two dogs. Other than that, all I could see laid out in front of me were endless water molecules strewn across a barren ice land. It's as if the trees were part ice, part wind, and part sunlight.

Dressed up; messed up; put on a show, so the whole damn world's gonna know
That we were here

 Shush; scared to look at things that peer back, it's weird how we fear that

 I bought a bracelet today. It cost me 28 bucks with taxes. I'm hoping it helps some music students in the states somewhere, because normally I wouldn't pay such a high price for such a common luxury.

It's a nice bracelet with 24 interchangeably indifferent coloured beads. And it has a crown on it. I hope I don't lose it like I lost so many things this year, including my sanity.

The walker's truth

WHAT THE ****?! What the ****!? What the ****.

The City of Toronto is -literally- a corporation. What the eff.

SO MANY BROKEN THINGS EVERYWHERE - like bottles and containers, cracking teeth and retainers.

And I conversed with the outside; and all I heard back were more sirens.

More money wasted.

More fake jobs with f**e people doing things that don't matter; why don't people care?

WHY THE  **** ARE PEOPLE SO F***** UP?

WHAT. THE. ****.

No one ever seems to ask why. All they care about is the how... to make money to be happy.

WTF.

I'll build up slowly; it's not easy for me. Maybe you can see that in my writing.

Nexilium.

lYRA = Mana.

I am out of mana.

:'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(


We are The Unspeakables.

And we are the ones who kept quiet and always did what we were told.

AHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHH x2

Originally written on August 26th 2015. I edited out some of the bad swearing.

I still feel so much pain here from the past

I thought I could do it all by myself. I never thought that I would be anyone but myself.

Lately things have been struggling; my dopamine rushes just never stop ending.

I'm not denying myself the sleep I so crave
It feels like a war to take back the night and my dreams are becoming daymares again

I promised older folk I would not consume cannabis

But I still feel so much pain here from the past; I can't sleep I can't sleep I can dream again but I can't sleep with the lights on

Turn off the lights; turn off the lights

It's almost 1 am on the 2nd day of DST (Daylight Savings Time) so in three minutes I'm going to go consume the herb I know the most about

Cannabis indica, with as much CBD as I can find because they bred out Northern Lights to make percentages go higher

I don't care that the older folk don't get the meaning of HARM REDUCTION; IT'S MY LIFE AND THEY'RE FOCOCTED HYPOCRITES WHO CONSUME way worse shit on a daily basis.

And I'm the one who gets drugged AGAINST my will by dumbasses in positions of power

Now that I've made my intent clear, it's time...

Personal hell, l'oubliette, and dihydrogen monoxide

Dehydrate

I've had a rough week, Kal.
Yeah? What's up?
Well, someone robbed me. They stole my Swiss Army Knife.
That really sucks. I know you paid good money for it.
Yeah, I've been losing a lot of my valuables this year. I'm not used to having an object literally stolen from me, though.

How do you feel now?
Well, this morning I feel pretty good. I slept well, whereas the night before was chaos incarnate. And plus I feel like my beard is not the way it should be -
Hey, let's not focus on aesthetics today, okay?

Sure. Stay positive, right? But I'm SO angry!
I'm angry too. Anger is actually really important: without it, it would be impossible to express grief.
That's a really interesting idea, Kal. But how can you prove it?
Well, it's not a matter of proving anything... but if you look at the etymology behind the word "anger", it's a Middle English term, and it stems from Old Norse angr ‘grief’, angra ‘vex’.

-

Je suis vexé. Il y a eu trop d'affrontements envers mon système d'éthique - et le coupable, ça n'est pas seulement les Homo sapiens. Il ne faut surtout pas oublier que dans notre ADN (Acide désoxyribonucléique), il y a aussi du Homo habilis, cette espèce qui pendant des centaines de milliers d'année possédait une maîtrise sur les outils. Je blame le cancer d'une société urbaine, parfois déshumanisante. Effectivement, dans la société dont je fait parti, il y a tellement d'horreurs auquel je suis témoin que maintenant je fais des efforts pourne plus regarder. Je préfère me retrouver avec une amie invisible pour l'instant: l'oubli.

-

And so my personal hell continues; alone, single, but not depressed nor hopeless. Loneliness, the lack of remembrance for ancient stories of old, the blatant abuse of power by authorities; all of this is a personal hell that will eventually dissipate like water evaporates under the midnight sun on a distant planet system named Trisolaris.

Rehydrate