Cold shower

I'm up to five days in a row now. Five days where, at the end of my shower, I turn the dial way over to the cold side and spend the last 30 seconds under an icy flow, willing myself to breathe normally.

Is it a fad? Is it a "lifehack"? Does it do any good?

Anecdotally, yes to the last question! This morning, I was feeling anxious, but I feel better after doing the above. It's like a switch, turning off the mental buzzing, and forcing you to feel instead of think. The cold shower has a powerful physiological effect, and I just feel better.

I haven't delved deep into the scientific literature at all, only seen recommendations here and there on the internet, and I have a friend who's done some cold dunking in an actual river, which is a far cry from what I call my "transition" showers going from hot>cold. But yes, I can confirm, having some semblance of a cold shower has a positive effect on my mood.

So even if it's a fad, a "biohack", or whatever other term you wanna label it, I'm going to keep up with this newfound routine. It gets easier to do the more you do it.

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Weather's been crazy. It was summer-hot a couple days ago, pushing 28 degrees celsius, and now it's back down to 4... Mother nature's mood swings in tandem with climate change, I guess.

Reflection on weirdness

I often find myself encountering stuff I've written in the past on various forums or other places on the internet that I've visited before. Or on my blog, obviously. And sometimes, I shake my head and try and understand wtf I wrote. I try and understand the headspace I was in when I wrote something, and it's incredibly difficult. And I realize, with some embarrassment, that some of these things that I've written and forgotten about are kinda crazy and not coherent.

I think some of these writings can be attributed to wanting to "freewrite" the thoughts down somewhere and not caring about what I'm actually saying. Other times, I've written something with a purpose and a general idea, but taking it to an extreme.

Here's an example of something I came across which I've now removed from my Steam profile:

"Don't talk nutrition with me unless we're very close friends. Don't bring me your sugar. Don't try and sell your garbage-processed-transformed food-like items to me (and that includes cookies).

With that out of the way, yes, I still like to play video games but I'm transitioning away from iMac and moving back into the Windows world eventually.

e=mc^2 is not a reason to drink alcohol.
I like plants.
I like transformed plants less, but I like them, too.
I like animals best of all.
And I often play games with cool people.

And finally, I'm awesome because I usually like playing as fairly as possible. "

Who am I addressing here? Who would even "try" to sell me junk food? I either buy it or I don't. When I wrote the above, I was likely in "extreme-healthnut-mode" and rejecting all sorts of foods and focusing on only eating the very healthiest stuff. Well, that couldn't last forever. But I can always improve.

What does the speed of light have to do with drinking alcohol?

Am I saying I like nature, or that I like oil, or something else?

True, in the past, I played games with cool people. These days, it's very much a solo thing aside from random global chat interactions in games that support that kind of communication.

Finally, qualifying my awesomeness with how fairly I play games is just weird. I mean, I do literally have a clock with a metal engraving saying "Gabriel is awesome and stuff." that I got as a present when I was 18 and volunteering in Vancouver, so I wonder if I saw my clock and needed to write about being awesome.

In my current headspace, I just have to laugh about this stuff. I'm just glad I'm not doing more damaging things when I get into weird states.

Dogs & Time

 Harmlessly passing the time only dimly aware of a certain unease in the air

For some reason, the above quote drifts in and out of my head, almost on a daily basis and has been doing so for the past week. There's music accompanying it as well, because it's taken from a Pink Floyd song. I think it's taken from Dogs, on the excellent Animals album. But I'm not sure if I've got the quote quite right, and I'm not bothering to look it up.

I don't know what to make of it. It seems like it could be insightful, something to reflect on. 

Now that I think about it, it makes me think of another Pink Floyd song, much more well-known, called Time (Dark Side of the Moon is the album, of course). There's a quote in there that goes: "Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day". That one, I'm sure I've got right because David Gilmour enunciates it so clearly, in an iconic way really.

Anyway, I wonder if I've somehow mixed up the two songs and altered the lyrics for Dogs as such. Am I harmlessly passing my time? Is the clock ticking my time away? I dunno. Here, I'll make Dogs the "Song of the Day" and link it below to mull over.

Biking & reminiscing

I'm back on the bike! After a couple weeks of walking everywhere, the snow finally melted enough to make it possible to road bike again. Don't get me wrong, I love plugging into my headphones and walking to my destinations - and walking is great for the central nervous system - but being able to get to where I want to go 4x faster and without having to pay for gas, parking, or transit feels great. Well, until you get a flat... which I did on my way back home from work a couple nights ago. That sucked. And I know you're not supposed to ride on a flat tire, but I was too tired to care, so I noisily made my way home, walking up the large hill on my path and then slowly pedalling down the street, trying to avoid every little pothole.

So, until I fix the flat (which is fairly easy to do, I've done it enough times now), I'm gonna be riding on an ancient bike that's heavier, slower, can barely change gears (until I fix that, too), but that almost never gets flats. Ol' reliable. I still lock 'er up, but it's such a janky bike, and as such I don't live with the fear of having it stolen because it looks so crappy. It's unfortunate that bike thievery is so common in the city. I've had my wheels stolen before - thankfully never a whole bike -, and it's just so frustrating.

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I'm in a reminiscing mood, positive reminiscing I guess. Mostly thoughts about times when I was more social, more integrated within a community, where I hung out with close friends & acquaintances alike, and where the drudgery of working to make a living wasn't an omnipresent worry in my head. I often find myself thinking "well, the pandemic wiped off my social life" nowadays, which is kind of true, but also kind of an excuse. So, while I specifically, currently don't have plans to integrate myself into a community, it's on my mind. I mean, being steadily employed brings a sort of community feeling, but it's not exactly fun.

In related news, I've been talking to K on the phone on a monthly basis, which is awesome. Sharing tales of our daily lives, it's a positive experience for me.

'till next time.

Clean eating

Feeling a bit anxious. It's my own doing: I'm not eating as clean as I was, say, a month ago. Too much sugar. All I had to do was not start eating it! But now I'm addicted again, especially when cravings hit later in the evening. And the chips, oh, the salty potato chips. I need to cut back on those, too. And I will, because insidious weight gain is not something that does my body good as I grow older.

Okay, so that's some self-reflection for encouragement.

I have the tools to limit this sugar creep. I still enjoy cooking. So if I cook things that are good enough, I can just eat that instead of chowing down on chips.

For example. I make a spicy parsnip hummus, and I love eating carrots with it. Trying to replace chips with carrots might not be the easiest, but if I get used to it and I stop buying the damn chips, I have a chance. The work that I put into making my own snacks makes it so I save money, and I'll feel better if I eat it compared to a processed food coming out of a factory somewhere unknown.

Another thing I really want to do is to keep more pictures of what I make so I can upload them. I'm saving up for a better camera (or an upgrade to my phone), and then I can post them on here. Then, when I want, I can look back on delicious foods I've prepared and counter the junk food addiction.

Still working. I was a little bit worried because of changes to my schedule, but it should be okay. I don't love my work, but I definitely don't hate it. I don't dread it. So it's all right.

... & the March weather

A couple blog posts ago, I wrote about the February weather, and how there wasn't much going on, snow or otherwise. Well, things have changed! Since then, there's been snow, and it has stuck around. Yesterday, I was walking home at the end of the day, and snow fell and never stopped falling. And whilst I was trudging through the sidewalks, lightning lit up the sky and a few moments later, thunder. It was pretty crazy, and the streets were mostly deserted so it felt like I was alone in the remote wilderness because all the cars, and concrete, and pretty much any human-made thing was completely covered by whiteness.

This morning, the snow has stuck around. I can confidently say there was snow this winter, 2022-2023.