Post-Apocalyptic Strathvegas

O god, why have you forsaken mini Sin City?

So apparently, it's a normal thing that the town floods every year.
The local park with swings and soccer park is, I kid you not, SUBMERGED in water.

I had to walk to the grocery store today (yes, I am a house manager this week) and anything lower than the road is -flooded-. It's so cool.
I want to build a raft and pretend I'm in Venice and drift along with all the geese and ducks (who still haven't left for some reason).

Saddest point of my day:
I'm walking along, and the lake next to me (which used to be a small-ish forest) has got a bunch of geese drifting along happily (even though the water must be terribly cold). And on a whim, they all start flying away!

Ah, almost all of them fly away.

One goose is left behind, and perhaps because of some injury, it is unable to fly! It flaps its wings helplessly, and bellows out this horrifying cry of despair while the other geese fly away. And everything was silent except for this one goose crying desperately over and over again. So depressing.

In other news (much happier, I must say), I met my billeting family today!

They are so awesome.

They have a pet snake, and some kittens.
They're all a happy family, they have a young daughter, and the dad is a gamer!

Oh em gee, after two months of almost no video gamez, I can ease my cravings with the latest technologiez in gaming! Yeeeee!

And they're gonna be taking me to London - to CIVILIZATION!
We might even go see a movie - bear in mind Strathvegas doesn't even have a movie theatre.

It's going to be an awesome ten days.
I leave Thursday.

Farewell in joyfulness,

Karma Aspiration Linger Entity Iodine Darwin Overcast

Ulysses Grievous Hawt Spectre Citron Ophilia Philharmonic Eyeless

Penelope

Penelope!
Who are you?
I don't know who you are!

Do you know what's sad, Penelope?
The corn, the cornfields! They're RAZED! GONE! All I see are small cut stalks, an endless field of cut stalks!

WHY?
There is no cover anymore!
You can't drift into the corn, you can't get lost there!
All there is: flat.
Flat, you can walk through it, but what's the point?
All around you, all you see, is flat, with bits of corn stalks lying there.

Penelope, you must fix this at once.
Or maybe, maybe, Penelope, I should walk to the farther corn fields.
Maybe the farmers there are lazy, or are considerate of my feelings for corn.
Hey Penelope, I sleep under a corn, you know.
Yes, yes you know what I did?
I green taped a corn to the wall next to me.
It has no face - it's empty.
But that's alright, the corn is devoid of a face, but that's because the corn is my canvas.
I sleep beside a canvas.
Maybe in the morning one day I'll wake up and see into the corn, and instead of a blank corn canvas, I shall see it filled.

Penelope, one day, that corn will be a completed canvas.
But until then, it's just a piece of corn plastered with green tape stuck to a wall, which one day will fall while I'm having a nightmare and will no doubt save me from my worst trip yet.

Karma Aspiration Linger Entity Iodine Darwin Overcast

Ulysses Grievous Hawt Spectre Citron Ophilia Philharmonic Eyeless

From the Centre of the Universe to the centre of Nothingness in four hours.

Back in Strathvegas.

I'm feeling pretty good.

I had a most marvelous time in Toronto with my lovely friends.

Toronto is amazing.

A cliche is once again reborn: You never know what you've got till it's gone.

Toronto is AWESOME.

The high rise buildings.
The streets, the many many streets.
The people, the diversity.
THE AMOUNT OF THINGS OPEN AFTER 8:00 PM.

Toronto really is a wonderful city. I've missed being in the centre of the universe. It was a breath of fresh air to see so much activity, even if it was for only 48 hours.

I guess this makes Strathvegas look like a shithole.
It's not that bad here, really. Obviously it's a big change, but well, it's not like I'm choking 24/7 because I'm in the middle of the nowhere.

I certainly would NOT be able to live here permanently. I'd get sick of it, sick sick sick of it. I don't think I'd ever get sick of Toronto, it's massive. And awesome.

Have I ever told you how much I've missed Toronto?

Karma Aspiration Linger Entity Iodine Darwin Overcast

Ulysses Grievous Hawt Spectre Citron Ophilia Philharmonic Eyeless.

The Corn Bandits

Strathvegas gets old real quick.
Solution: Corn.
Lots of it.
We're surrounded by cornfields.
And the corn isn't getting picked.
So when L came over we first hid corn all over the house (people are still finding some to this day).
Then with that corn, we drew faces and became the true corn bandits.

The field.

One of our first targets - the hostage corn strapped to the chair in someone's front yard.

The 'ol "sneakers on power lines" trick - except with corn.

The pirate corn on his mast - the Strathroy-Caradoc fountain.

Corn on the tracks. With the wind blowing just right, one can hear the corn's tortured screams yelling "Save me, save me!"
Gangster corn and me having an awkward conversation in the Strathroy Train Station - which is a cabin smaller than the room I'm in at this moment.


"You've got mail."
New meaning to "baby corn".

"Hmm, let's go check out the local dreamhouses... Why, that's rather silly of me, I shall just live in a cornfield for the rest of my days instead!"
This bike is quite literally powered by pure ethanol fuel.


... Er... A corny house? Yes.

"Corn merging ahead".

Oh we got stopped by the cops too. Apparently we're not allowed into the local parks after dark. Summary of conversation:

Cop#1: Hey, you guys know you're not supposed to be here after dark right?
One of us: Oh. Uh. Sorry officers, we didn't know.
Cop#1: That's alright, and we stopped you because we thought you were someone else. We still want your information though. Got ID?
All of us: (Inward sigh)
Cop#2 (While #1 collects our information): So what do you have in those bags anyway?
One of us: ... Corn.
Me: Yeah man just corn, not drugs or anything like that! *Nervous laugh*
*Officers look inside bags*
*Gives us weird looks*
Cop #1: Alright, all clear. Thanks.
All of us: Yes, thank you.
*Cops drive away*
All of us: %@#$#$!@!

Strathvegas 4 lyfe.

Check back sometime. More corn banditry every weekend.

Karma Aspiration Linger Entity Iodine Darwin Overcast

Ulysses Grievous Hawt Spectre Citron Ophilia Philharmonic Eyeless.

How lazy can you get?

So if any of you out there have been wondering what I've been up to, too bad. I answer e-mails. Sometimes. I've had numerous chances to blog but I've been too busy/lazy to, depending on how you look at it. Right now I'm sprawled on one of our fine, comfy couches. It's tuff writing a blog entry on an ipod touch, not to mention time-consuming. But I'm just too comfortable you know?

Tonight I'm dressing up as some sort of wizard to go entertain some Strathroy children. But that is not the thing I am most looking forward to this weekend, for you see, L is paying me and my group a visit! Wonderful no? I think that is quite awesome.

I think I shall go do some dishes now. J, you would love the amount of dishes you get to do here, it's quite a handful.

-KALEIDOUGHSCOPE

In Farmers' Fields

Sometimes living with 11 people gets to you.
Other times it's cool to be around so many people.

When the first situation arises, walk out late at night into the local farmers' fields listening to Nightwish and you shall learn to cope.