Once in a while

So I've been posting a lot less lately. It's okay; it's always been this way. There are periods in my life where I want to post every day, and I do it for a little bit, and other times where months go by without an update. As a general rule of thumb for me, I do try to write at least on a monthly basis, even if it's just a song from YouTube or some freewriting. So I guess this is September's post, if I don't publish again.

It's a lonely place out here; but I knew that going in. I had an English teacher in high school who told me that writing was pretty lonely, and she was right. So I came into this blogging thing prepared.

What I wasn't prepared for is how fast life is moving! I'm in my thirties now, and I started my blog as a teenager. There are lots of life experiences that I've shared on here, but so many more that I haven't because, well, it's still a public blog and I don't want to share everything. But it's definitely true that the years seem to go by faster and faster as I grow older, and the explanation for that is apparently that each year takes up a less percentage of total years spent living, so they feel shorter.

It's a little disheartening that I don't really see myself building a future with a partner at the moment. I'm not into dating, and I spend way too much time in front of screens when I'm not working or cooking. I try and stay in touch with a couple friends, but I find that I tip toward spending time by myself rather than going out and spending time with others, and it's been this way for most of my life.

I kind of miss university, but I also kind of don't? It felt like I was working toward something when I did study, but I've lost touch with pretty much anyone I was friends with while there. Getting rid of things like Facebook made things harder in terms of ease of communication, but I don't regret it because it wasn't truly a social platform for me. Just a place to ogle and probably feel inadequate comparing myself to people posting updates of their perfect lives.

The hardest challenge right now for me is managing my crutch, and not eating junk food. I've gained weight over the summer, over 20 pounds, and I already wasn't at my ideal weight back when I started another health crusade late last year. With winter coming up, and me not being a very young adult anymore, it's only going to get harder to shed the weight.

I still keep my YMCA membership. It's a sort of sanctuary for me, and I'm glad I went to my first yoga class in over 2 weeks last weekend. Better something than nothing.

Another good thing that I've got going for me is that I live a frugal lifestyle. I'm saving up so that when I do figure out where I want to go in life, I'll have something to work with. I don't make much money, but I don't spend much money. I haven't been to a restaurant in months, and I'm satisfied with my cooking and that's good enough for me.

A blog topic for another time: the internet feels so corporate. I fight that by writing on this corporate-owned platform, but with my own free thoughts - as lonely as they are.

Toodles.

On ephemeral dreams

 More of a freewrite this'll be; I'll try and share my philosophy. Scattered thoughts, why not. Sorry that the title isn't really relevant.

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Bright and sunny skies today, but I was inside at a yoga class earlier. 10 years ago if I had said "I will be doing yoga 10 years from now" it would have been believable and indeed, I still am, somewhat regularly. So that's rather interesting.

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I feel good about putting my laundry out to dry on the clothesline. It's not the fastest but it's meditative to sit there pinning my various articles to the line, so I enjoy it somewhat. Plus I'm outside, and that's always better.

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I listen to music sometimes. I like www.di.fm: there's a really diverse selection of electronic music stations and it's always high quality music that I enjoy. But lately, they've started limiting the selection of music stations (e.g. Trance, Drum n' Bass, House, etc.) to only a handful rotating daily unless you pay for a premium account, so I bounce off sometimes. I'm a bit crafty: by not updating the app on my phone to the newer version, I can still choose any of the stations and just have to contend with ads once in a while. Been using their service since I was a teenager.

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Busy days ahead for me. Even though it's a civic holiday, I still have work, and it'll be busy for sure. But then I'll get a proper 2 days off after, so that's something to look forward to.

The future is fast approaching

 Just some stream-of-consciousness up ahead...

Today I saw a video where a side topic was explaining how to use AI (Chat GPT) to code something for you. And it was easy peasy. You didn't need to know how to code, you just needed to know how to ask ChatGPT to code for you.

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Right now, I'm watching a live stream of someone in Japan on Twitch. Someone on foot exploring what looks like shrines in Tokyo, but I'm not sure if it's actually Tokyo. And I can chat with them, randomly, even though they have no idea who I am. A total stranger online. And that's pretty futuristic, and there are dozens if not hundreds if not thousands of people doing this sort of live streaming at all hours of the day.

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I should get out of the house more often, and stay out. It's nice to go out for my short trips to nature spots in the city, but they don't last very long. Still, biking's fun nonetheless.

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Each passing year feels faster and faster. I'm already in my thirties. And damn, this decade is starting off lonely with the pandemic wrecking havoc on my social life.

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Weather's been nice lately, getting some sun is good.

The night before the 1st

'twas the night before Canada Day and all was silent on this Friday

One of my cats settled down beside me at my computer chair and continued his incessant purring

I feel content this evening, even if I lead a lonely life

I still write here because it helps keep me accountable

I could have gone out this evening, to a jazz festival with a co-worker but chose to stay in instead. I guess I could blame the really poor air quality for not going, but really, it's because of my habits that I don't go out much.

I'll go to the islands sometime, get some fresh lake air if possible.