So I've been posting a lot less lately. It's okay; it's always been this way. There are periods in my life where I want to post every day, and I do it for a little bit, and other times where months go by without an update. As a general rule of thumb for me, I do try to write at least on a monthly basis, even if it's just a song from YouTube or some freewriting. So I guess this is September's post, if I don't publish again.
It's a lonely place out here; but I knew that going in. I had an English teacher in high school who told me that writing was pretty lonely, and she was right. So I came into this blogging thing prepared.
What I wasn't prepared for is how fast life is moving! I'm in my thirties now, and I started my blog as a teenager. There are lots of life experiences that I've shared on here, but so many more that I haven't because, well, it's still a public blog and I don't want to share everything. But it's definitely true that the years seem to go by faster and faster as I grow older, and the explanation for that is apparently that each year takes up a less percentage of total years spent living, so they feel shorter.
It's a little disheartening that I don't really see myself building a future with a partner at the moment. I'm not into dating, and I spend way too much time in front of screens when I'm not working or cooking. I try and stay in touch with a couple friends, but I find that I tip toward spending time by myself rather than going out and spending time with others, and it's been this way for most of my life.
I kind of miss university, but I also kind of don't? It felt like I was working toward something when I did study, but I've lost touch with pretty much anyone I was friends with while there. Getting rid of things like Facebook made things harder in terms of ease of communication, but I don't regret it because it wasn't truly a social platform for me. Just a place to ogle and probably feel inadequate comparing myself to people posting updates of their perfect lives.
The hardest challenge right now for me is managing my crutch, and not eating junk food. I've gained weight over the summer, over 20 pounds, and I already wasn't at my ideal weight back when I started another health crusade late last year. With winter coming up, and me not being a very young adult anymore, it's only going to get harder to shed the weight.
I still keep my YMCA membership. It's a sort of sanctuary for me, and I'm glad I went to my first yoga class in over 2 weeks last weekend. Better something than nothing.
Another good thing that I've got going for me is that I live a frugal lifestyle. I'm saving up so that when I do figure out where I want to go in life, I'll have something to work with. I don't make much money, but I don't spend much money. I haven't been to a restaurant in months, and I'm satisfied with my cooking and that's good enough for me.
A blog topic for another time: the internet feels so corporate. I fight that by writing on this corporate-owned platform, but with my own free thoughts - as lonely as they are.
Toodles.
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