Surf log 1

I found myself casually entering URLs in the address bar when I stumbled upon a CBC news site with pictures of athletes who competed in the 2018 Pyeongchang games.

At first I was bemused by the perfectly curated portraits of professional athletes, and then I decided that it would be a good idea to practice guessing their ages. After doing so for a few portraits, I realized that if they were real people and aware of my judgemental gaze, they would likely feel very uncomfortable, so I decided to start playing a different, slightly less judgemental game. However, I found it was a useful exercise to do because it allowed me to categorize the women into potential dating ranges (with the 16-year old clearly completely out of bounds at my hellish age of 28). According to XKCD, the majority of the clearly-out-of-my-league women were in fact part of my potential dating pool (assuming that I eventually do use dating technology).

Instead, I started trying to guess what province they represent, and found that very difficult. Guessing north or south of my location, on the other hand, was fairly trivial.

Next, I wandered off to visit Erin, ON’s website and had a quick look at the pictures of flowers.

And then I started listening to Jimi Hendrix classics (after feeling weirded out by Gentle Giant).

And then I tried to buy newyork.com and decided not to because of their pricing structure.

I think it’s time for another vacation.

Dreaming via Nu Disco

Saw some dragons today.
They seemed weirded out by strange business deals.
I guess that's why they call it a den and not rent.

More artwork for the living
Less time for the dying
Parodies and pranks invading

Discothèques et bicyclettes,
Gendarmes et sauf-respect,
Nous ne savons plus comment profiter du temps qui écoule si lassement

Les ondes me disent que je ne travaille pas assez
Mon corps me disent de manger, manger
Danser c'est la bailande latine

Primal Blue

Full diclosure: The following letter is intended for an immature audience. Please note that improper citation styles ruin the economy. No, but seriously, check out my one and only legit sponsor of this blog: https://www.primalblueprint.com
Oh, and coupon-ing is not an income. 

There once lived an old adolescent who was overweight and lonely. Now, as an adult, he is much less malnourished and still about as lonely, and he no longer weighs 285 pounds like he did at his absolute measured heaviest, but at least he is rediscovering his love of the internet (which was designed and utilized as a communication tool, AFAIK, and not designed for porn, despite what Avenue Q might lead you to believe).

The numbers that speak of my 'ketoprimal' success story include over 101.1 lbs of WHATEVER it is that I lost by eating right and 'swearsweating' (coining this one: when you're angry that you're sweating; similar to 'hangry').

I still love moving frequently, albeit at a hectic pace, which makes me think I have some Korg DNA somewhere but it's probably due to the lack of connection to kingdom animalia that I move around so quickly and yet so infrequently... in front of an electronic screen.

At 28 years old, I ask myself on a daily basis if I'm doing humanity a disservice by 'choosing' not to get intimate but, given the "epidemic of loneliness" that looms over my generation and younger ones, I guess it's an important question to ponder.

I'm not a primal success because I have not found a mate yet and I would probably be dead if I lived in paleolithic times, but I am a success story because I know how to write and express myself through blogging.

That's why I still blog to this day: in the hopes that a future species impossibly wiser than our own will not commit natural fraud ever again by using flawed studies to reinvent the wheel.

I'd like this story to remain private (for the time being) because it is extremely convoluted.

-Gabe-




It's probably a programming error on my side, but I thought I'd let the ever-mysterious "Worker Bee" know anyway just in case it can help someone else feel a cathartic sense of release because they found a place that might publish something I write with no strings attached.

What do you call a dinosaur that knows a lot of words?

UA: A thesaurus?