...

I'm so sad sometimes, I miss ________.
I miss ________ so much.

I don't even think I have much of a right to miss ________, but I do. I'm sure there are some people out there who miss ________ way more than I do, but I still miss ________.

Also sometimes I just can't stop thinking about ________. It contributes to a partial insomnia. But why does it do that? Do I obsess over things which shouldn't be so obsessive? The answer is yes, I do, not over too many things, but a few. Enough for it to be noticeable.

What happened to ________? I wonder a lot about what happened to ________, I mean I dig in my memories, and I got some highs, not many, but a few. And there was a consistent high when I was able to be around ________, I felt so special.

But ________ has parted ways with me, a little more than a month ago. I've seen ________ since then, but I know it's not the same. And still I think, what's going to happen to ________? Will anything ever happen again?

Oh gawd I hope something happens again before 9 months of my life are spent truly away from home.

I miss ________.

:C.

Amused to Death

"Years later, I saw Bill Hubbard's name on the memorial to the missing at Aras. And I...when I saw his name I was absolutely transfixed; it was as though he...he was now a human being instead of some sort of nightmarish memory of how I had to leave him, all those years ago. And I felt relieved, and ever since then I've felt happier about it, because always before, whenever I thought of him, I said to myself, 'Was there something else that I could have done? And that always sort of worried me. And having seen him, and his name in the register - as you know in the memorials there's a little safe, there's a register in there with every name - and seeing his name and his name on the memorial; it sort of lightened m... heart, if you like."
"When was it that you saw his name on the memorial?"
"Ah, when I was eighty-seven, that would be the year, ninete...eighty-four, nineteen eighty-four."

The Ballad of Bill Hubbard

"Two things that have haunted me most are the days when I
had to collect the paybooks; and when I left Bill Hubbard in
no-man's-land.

"I was picked up and taken into their trench. And I'd no
sooner taken two or three steps down the trench when I heard a
call, 'Hello Razz, I'm glad to see you. This is my second night
here,' and he said 'I'm feeling bad,' and it was Bill Hubbard,
one of the men we'd trained in England, one of the original
battalion. I had a look at his wound, rolled him over; I could
see it was probably a fatal wound. You could imagine what pain
he was in, he was dripping with sweat; and after I'd gone about
three shellholes, traversed that, had it been...had there been a
path or a road I could have done better. He pummeled me, 'Put
me down, put me down, I'd rather die, I'd rather die, put me
down.' I was hoping he would faint. He said 'I can't go any
further, let me die.' I said 'If I leave you here Bill you won't
be found, let's have another go.' He said 'All right then.' And
the same thing happened; he couldn't stand it any more, and I had
to leave him there, in no-man's-land."

My Curse

DragonForce @ Downsview Park August 8th.
Sonata Arctica and Nightwish @ The Docks September 2nd.

I will definitely go see Sonata Arctica & Nightwish, as they're right up there with my favourite bands.

DragonForce, I'm iffy about. I know I'm very snobbish with my music, but that DF concert seems disconcerting to me. Firstly, the tickets are 50 bucks, jacked up from 20 dollars when I went to go see them two years ago with my friend Danielle at the Opera House. That was one hell of a concert, it was fantastic, and hilarious, I'll try and spare you most of the details. There were these people in mail armor with a foam warhammer that they were waving about, that sort of thing. And hell, the band had so much friggin energy. I was tired from just standing the whole time, but they were jumping around flailing on their guitars and all. They were damn cool.

The thing I don't like about this concert that they're doing is that I have no doubt that there will be a bunch of flavour-of-the-month kids present who just happened to discover DragonForce with the song Through the Fire and the Flames on Guitar Hero, and they thought it sounded cool and decided "hell I'll go to this concert". I know I should feel fine about them going to a concert in which they shelled out their money for and that they should be allowed to enjoy Herman Li's shreddin' too, but it still annoys me.

As for Nightwish and Sonata Arctica, oh that will just be fantastic. The Sonata Arctica concert I went to back in September was effing awesome, they are one hell of a good band. Plus, they're not so totally mainstream that they still allow me to feel as though the music is for their fans, and not purely for the music industry. (I was sickened when I saw DragonForce on MTV the other day).

Alright, I didn't want to make a long post.

Bye.

Karma Aspiration Linger Entity Iodine Darwin Overcast

Ulysses Grievous Hawt Spectre Citron Ophilia Philharmonic Eyeless.