Equine love

I am the Kaleidoscope of the mind
I impart light, colour and perpetual motion
I think, I see, I am moved by electric fluidity
Constant only in my inconstancy, I am unshackled by mundane holds, unchecked by sturdy binding goals
I run unimpeded through virgin paths
My spirit unconquered; my soul forever free

I am the horse.

Source: The Handbook of Chinese Horoscopes by Theodora Lau, 7th ed.

Plus rien ne m'étonne

C'est une chanson par Tiken Jah Fakoly, un musicien africain. En effet, plus rien ne m'étonne quand je regarde que le côté négatif de la situation humaine sur terre. Est-ce une bonne chose? Je ne sais pas.

Yes, sometimes I purposefully write in french on my public and mostly English blog just to annoy you. Yes, you, the one among many who thought that french class in high school was lame and who was jealous of the fact that I got all the attention from the girls with my flawless spoken french.

But seriously! This song (and the entire album) is awesome! If you're sick of hearing Marley but you like the vibes, I suggest you listen to some other songs off the album too. Yes, they're all in french.


---

Hi.
Hey. It's been a while.
I feel bad. I didn't really keep up with the "decrees" even though deep down I wanted to. I let myself get carried away with pixels again.

Don't feel bad about your past decisions in this matter! Energies come and go; you can't always be in the same state of being all the time. You know that.
Yeah, but see that's the problem I'm facing right now. I know things, but I don't really do many things.

You think you're not doing anything, but really you're just comparing yourself to some sort of standard of how much you should be doing. Sure, society wants you to work, study, or otherwise appear busy - and that's probably a good thing - but sulking about the system only gets you so far.
Yes, you're right.

Expressing myself on A Kaleidoughscope of Writings, among other things, is definitely beneficial, but I feel like I'm lacking some sort of attachment to universal energy...  qi, or life force, or something along those lines. It's supposed to be simple: keep your mind, body, and spirit in good shape and simply be.


Simplicity is key. Spiritual decree #6: Instead of solely thinking about your place in the world, feel it.
And I will do that by doing more physical things. I'm going to try playing my drum on a regular basis again. Tiken really inspired me today.

Karma Aspiration Langune Entité Iodinement Dérive Oisellerie Ulysse Guimauve Hurlement Salutaire Citronelle Ophilia Perspicace Ettore

The Split Cosmos

"And I've always lived like this; keeping a comfortable distance. And up until now I've sworn to myself that I'm content with loneliness... because none of it was ever worth the risk."

I hide my little reality, but is it a reality at all? Sitting in my worn black chair every day, I hide from the true experience that the world around me has to offer. Instead, I sit there and lose myself in the box in front of me. Forgetting, burying everything I know about the harshness of the present, I search for escapes.

Why do I hide so much? What am I so afraid of? I know I'm afraid of failure, but I'm also afraid of being perceived as different.

Why are we so split apart, me and you? Why are we all so separated from each other? We all know we exist, and sometimes we interact, but we don't really live and thrive, do we?

That's what I want - I want to live, not just exist. But I suffocate on the inside when I get overwhelmed with tales of horrors happening in developing countries, and poverty in Canada, and all the people who get sick and end up in hospitals with terrible food... among other things.

I worry a lot... I worry about wasting time, but a lot of the time I find myself wasting time doing nothing at all because I feel like I wouldn't be productive anyway.

Blah blah blah... I just had to rant a little. I just wish happiness was easier to come by and you didn't have to work hard for it.

Or maybe you don't need to work that hard for it, you just need to let the happiness in instead of being so bitter all the time.

I think I lack sunshine, for one, but I also need to keep myself busy, so I'm not always thinking about these things.

I had this idea of a little hobby to do the other day... go to different spots in the city and write letters to people. I like writing, and I don't think it's too difficult to write personal letters. It'll help me improve my writing, I guess, because I want nice letters, not ugly grey ones.

Well, I think I wasted my post title this time. I wanted a big post talking about loneliness and the way our society is set up so that we're all split apart and only to come together in times of dire need... but I guess that'll be for another time.

I am not content at all with my loneliness.

Another late night

Ah, how easy it is to stay up late when you have an endless supply of electricity and a computer that's ready to guzzle it all up.

Seriously, I need to be going to bed earlier. It's not healthy... at all. I don't generally lack sleep because I can sleep in a lot, but I'm not physiologically adapted to staying up late during the night. Maybe generations from now, we'll be able to see in the dark and sleep during the day or during the night, whichever you choose.

---
Someday, I'm going to write more of my theorycrafting down. I mean, I dream of a different society, a tribal society. I've been thinking about it a lot lately - why are things the way they are right now? Why does money exist? Why are there buildings made of concrete everywhere? Why are roads and cars and vehicles everywhere? Why do I buy food at a grocery store instead of at a farm? Why are some people richer than others?

I mean, all those questions have answers at face value... but behind them lies an even greater question: Why do we live the way we do? You can examine history, and you can arrive at a historical answer, but that only explains how things happened, not necessarily why they had to happen.

I have lots of theories. I don't spend enough time developing them in my head because I consume myself with computers and books and trivial things like The Big Bang Theory on television. But I think I could really grow as a person if I took the time to think critically about some of my ideas. For example: I've had this idea in my head about other planets and alternate universes. I highly doubt that Earth is the only place in the entire universe inhabited by intelligent beings. It just seems so... pointless if we really are alone.

What if the earth is merely but a cell within a greater macro-organism? Wouldn't that be cool? Well, we'd kinda be a sick cell, but we'd be alive nonetheless. Maybe there are other cells around us that we cannot see that are always like "Hey! Humans on earth! Wake up! You're killing your cell and giving us cancer over here with your pollution and destruction!".

Maybe I need to find some people who can help me develop my crazy ideas. Wouldn't that be fun? Arriving at a consensus about our place in the universe with other people? But the more I think, the more I am filled with doubt about my ideas. But at least I get more ideas.

Here's another idea: Technology is dividing us, not uniting us. Well, for some people. I guess I don't really use my cellphone much. And Facebook doesn't really help me feel better about myself.

Oh, I don't know anymore. Sometimes I think I just ramble late at night because I have nothing better to do. At least school is keeping me somewhat busy.

Karma Aspiration Langune Entité Iodinement Dérive Oisellerie Ulysse Guimauve Hurlement Salutaire Citronelle Ophilia Perspicace Ettore

Caught in the rain

Today I went to class in a t-shirt in bright sunny weather and came out of class greeted by a torrential downpour. I proceeded to travel under the cover of the trees to eventually end up in the subway system completely soaked. And I didn't mind one bit! I love the feeling of rain on my skin.
In places like Toronto, the rain is just a mild inconvenience, really. It kind of annoys me when people complain about the rain. The earth is a beautiful place and rain is one of the things that makes life possible.

There's a second reason I like the rain: I was supposed to do yard work today, but it was not possible to do so because of the rain, so I had a fantastic excuse to slack off.

Il faudrait vraiment que j'écrive en français plus souvent. J'écris très, très rarement dans ma langue maternelle et je regrette ne pas avoir pratiqué mon écriture plus souvent. Je trouve qu'il faut que je cherche mes mots, et mon vocabulaire, comparé à mon vocabulaire anglais, manque de flair.
Malheureusement, je n'ai pas beaucoup de lecteurs qui parlent français et c'est donc dur de trouver de la motivation pour écrire. Les seules fois que j'écris en français, c'est pour communiquer avec de la famille sur Facebook... Et même là, c'est pas beaucoup de mots.

J'aimerais tellement écrire comme René Descartes, ou même Rousseau, ça serait vraiment illuminant comme écriture. Leur métaphores et leur façon d'expliquer des concepts souvent embrumé dans le monde théorique est vraiment fascinant et ils sont une source d'inspiration créative pour moi.

C'est vraiment dommage que la langue française se pert dans un monde anglophone. Je suis convaincu que cette langue a plein de choses que la langue anglaise ne pourra jamais remplacer. Mais malheureusement, je n'ai pas de raison de conserver cette langue de mes propre moyens: je ne communique qu'avec la famille en français.

Peut être devrais-je aller visiter la France? J'aimerais bien être un philosophe français et avoir de la sagesse pour règler les problèmes sur terre.

Cette cage linguistique m'ennuie.

À la prochaine!

Karma Aspiration Langune Entité Iodinement Dérive Oisellerie Ulysse Guimauve Hurlement Salutaire Citronelle Ophilia Perspicace Ettore