At the edge of reason

Sometimes I can hear you. Sometimes I can feel you. Sometimes I can understand you.
You confuse my dreams. You keep the nightmares away. You make me feel alive.

Why can't I see you?

Hush, whispered Lyra. They're coming on to you. But they'll never be able to break us apart ever again, I promise you.

Wha... what do you mean?

I'm so sorry, Gabriel. I'm so, so, so, sorry. I didn't mean to leave you. But you understand, I had no choice.

You confuse my dreams and now my reality, Lyra. You always have. But I still don't understand.

Well, had I stayed by your side all through your torture and misery, you would have emerged just as helpless as when you began your descent into the abyss.
Do you seek revenge, Gabriel?

No. I don't want revenge. Not even to the shrinks who thought they knew better than I did.

Quickly! They're coming! Go hide in the trees; I'll distract them while you make it to your safehaven.

Oh, there's no need for that! I have an ace up my sleeve.

What... you mean like, a weapon?

Yeah babe. Paramore.
♥
Kazoo Anticipation Lipsync Enigma Dormant Overture United Graphite Hare Synchronicity Crank Opal Partridge Everlast

Hungover

What? Gabe is stuck with a hangover? Surely there must be a mistake.
I mean, after all, I rarely drink, and when I do drink, I make sure to consume twice as much water as alcohol. With this simple method, I've avoided 99% of any potential hangovers.

But this morning (morning! not afternoon) I woke up with a headache.
It's quite mild, really and I'm sure it would hardly qualify as a hangover for those of you who are habitual drinkers.

Next time, I'll remember not to have a glass of wine after a late-night yoga class, and to just drink water instead. I mean, that's what I usually do anyway, but for some reason I was craving a bit of red wine, so I had a glass with barely any water.

And so here we are!
-
Man, I'm glad water is a superdrink. Did you know? It has ZERO calories! And it's jam-packed with H²0 as well, which is scientifically proven to be good for you! Amaaaazing, am I right?
Did you know what else? Big pharma is actively trying to come up with a pill to replace water. That's how amazing it is! (Okay, I'm pretty sure this isn't true.).
-

And as slowly as it crept on, the hangover is gone.


'Cause I've seen love die
Way too many times
When it deserved to be alive (deserved to be alive)
I've seen you cry
Way too many times
When you deserved to be alive (alive)

Emergency - Paramore, from All you know is falling


Ain’t it fun?
Living in the real world
Ain’t it good?
Being all alone

Where you're from
You might be the one who’s running things
Well you could ring anybody's bell and get want you want
You see it’s easy to ignore trouble
When you’re living in a bubble

Ain't it fun - Paramore, from Paramore


Kazoo Anticipation Lipsync Enigma Dormant Overture United Graphite Hare Synchronicity Crank Opal Partridge Everlast

Musical taste

I thought it would be ever so illuminating if I showed you my top 25 most played on my iTunes. I regret nothing!

Disclaimer: This selection is not representative of my actual music tastes. I sure do like those songs though.

Yeah, I really do like Paramore.

Feel free to comment/link to yours, I'd be happy to compare.

Kazoo Anticipation Lipsync Enigma Dormant Overture United Graphite Hare Synchronicity Crank Opal Partridge Everlast

Fierceness

Sometimes you just have to stop thinking of the perfect title and settle with a word that randomly pops into your head.
Alternatively, you also might have to just stop thinking about what to write in the post and simply continue on from your title.

What is fierceness? Well, according to my quick Google dictionary search, fierceness is: "ferocity; the property of being wild or turbulent".

Hmm, at first I was thinking of writing about why I am fierce, but I don't quite think I match the definition.
However, a secondary definition for the word fierce brings up this: "(of a feeling, emotion, or action) Showing a heartfelt and powerful intensity".

Ah, now this I can write about. I cannot write about love, nor can I write about heartbreak. But I can certainly write about being fierce!

Now, where in my life would I have been fierce? Perhaps in my younger days, as a karate student? Not really. I mean, I acted fierce because I had to, but really, the bigger and older kids kind of intimidated me when I had to practice with them.

No, instead I would say that I am fierce when it comes to the most life changing event of my life, which is undoubtedly my Katimavik experience.
Let's put this into context.

I am fiercely opposed to the Harper government's decision to shut down the program, because I've seen first hand what amazing things the program does for people like me and the communities in which we've worked. Politicians don't really see any of that; they only see the money and popularity contest it might bring.

I also fiercely defend the friendships I formed during my travels in the program. Of course, it's impossible to maintain friendships with the dozens and dozens of people I met during Katimavik, but the very closest people I knew, the ones I lived with for nine months, hold a special place in my heart. And I even miss the two guys who broke away at the end, after the program was done. A & A, man, we had some good times, despite the drama.

And in my experience, I think friendships are worth being very fierce over.

Love will have to wait to be written about; maybe on here. Someday.
-
And so my little challenge of making a positive blog post is complete. I honestly wanted to write another negative one, another one in which I lament my predicament as a young adult. Because I feel pretty down. But I think this helped.

Kazoo Anticipation Lipsync Enigma Dormant Overture United Graphite Hare Synchronicity Crank Opal Partridge Everlast

10,000 pageviews

Woop woop! I've reached 10,000 lifetime pageviews on my blog just now. Cool! Granted, the vast majority of those pageviews are quite likely to just be spam bots. But it's still a milestone, right?

I didn't start my blog almost six years ago to amass a huge audience; that was not my goal. And it still isn't. And it hasn't happened. But it feels neat to have people read what I write and maybe it gets them thinking, or maybe it gets them to do some of their own blogging too. That'd be nice.

Well, I'm going to cut this short; I'm not really in the mood to write about such trivial matters right now.

Kazoo Anticipation Lipsync Enigma Dormant Overture United Graphite Hare Synchronicity Crank Opal Partridge Everlast

Vice & Carrot Juice

Is there anyone free of vice in this world? Is it possible to live free of all vice? Or do we eventually succumb to our own addictions, however large or small they may be, and hope we don't get carried away too far. Is there such a thing as a perfect person? Was the Buddha perfect?
Was Mother Teresa free of vice? Or was she just buying herself a ticket to heaven? Is there such a thing as true altruism?

Questions questions spin around, with answers nowhere to be found. It's easy for me to justify my vice(s) when the world around me is sick; far from perfect.
Why do I do it? What lures me to it? Is this a self-fulfilling prophecy in action, a consequence of reading all those Ellen Hopkins books?

Loneliness drives me to it, that's for sure. Loneliness is rarely bliss, occasionally needed, and almost always desired undesirable. At least by me.

---
One time, she came over with some other great friends, and she sang to me:

And I've always lived like this 

Keeping a comfortable, distance

And up until now I had sworn to myself that I'm content

With loneliness

And though I was too far gone in my own world to really know what was going on at the time, her singing it still brings back memories to me now. And I appreciate her for doing it. And it makes me wonder when I'll see her again, because she's a great friend and a really trustworthy gal.

And so as I sip at my desk, sipping carrot juice, I wonder where I will be tomorrow, but more importantly, I ask myself who will I be. And how can I change my life, escape for this circle of vice to be simply happy and free?

You were no cure for loneliness; reckless abandon of sanity.

Kazoo Anticipation Lipsync Enigma Dormant Overture United Graphite Hare Synchronicity Crank Opal Partridge Everlast