ibh this one

typo loss leaf-er

7777777

five times 5

Strait Up

-are we one and forever?

-I guess at what you'd sound like

-and it's still me and you — together

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It's been a while since I've talked to you, dear reader. It's also been a while since I called you that. It's also been a while since I've blogged and walked, and it's just nice to be able to call you dear reader even though I read the italicized with some sort of vehemence, for lack of a better term.

I still keep the blog dream alive. One day, I won't have to worry about my place in the world IRL as much, and I can go back to feeling like I'm in tube with the internet (Freudian slip?).

Ugh. It really does feel like the internet is mostly just... YouTube nowadays, at least for me.

I think it's why I now hesitate to continue with my SotD (Song of the Day) posts that link directly to YouTube. 

I have a hard time justifying my hotlinking to YouTube. I really do. I still sometimes come across old, human-made, usually self-edited music videos of yore (think early YouTube, like evo of dance and iJustine, or re-uploads of old Internet memes like the Numa Numa guy and The Emo Song) and I smile at the nostalgia, but it's just easier to pick the all-polished "official" versions of pop songs and pray the ads don't break through my filters. Skipping the comments section (unless there's a good reason not to) is also usually the play, pun not intended, in 2026.

I really do prefer earlier YouTube, still, and I guess that's its enshittification at work.

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So for now, my long-term unemployment is being staved off by my intention to improve myself, and especially through diet. Despite a major pitfall recently (won't get into the details — where the devil is after all, but my living situation is feeling precarious and probably will be for the foreseeable future, so I'd rather stay warm and safe than cold & boldly on the streets and, imagine, not living at home during the winter in Toronto). Can I?

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Oh and the SotD is Paula Abdul - Straight Up. It's on the internet, and stuck in my head this week, and I'm citing it because that's the good thing to do in this AInternet hell we find ourselves in currently. I heard it on regular Internet radio last, I swear!

To round out my first big post of 2026, here's a picture I took of my eldest cat, Bébé, instead of a YouTube thumbnail (for once I'm trying to follow the Rules of the Internet):

ChatGPT-5.2-OpenAI consulted only for motivation to blog on this one, which is a big part of my writing process. Mistakes made are my own.

Une taille faible du Foucault

J'ai retrouvé.

Le vent si soufflant

Dans un grand sapin clair.

I cœur mes parents

Following my "I heart Keqing" post from November, I thought it appropriate to mention my parental units. Like, my mum & dad. 100% of my DNA, to be explicit.

I don't think I've ever mentioned them. I spent pretty much every day with them during the Covid-19 crisis, but following the pandemic and amidst rising housing costs, I made an economic choice to plunker down and get to cooking, just like Xiangling in Genshin and I love them for continuing to let me stay at their place whilst I figure out my life after finally dropping out of university right before the first wave hit.

I love them for teaching me so many things, from the basics ike how to read & listen, to complex adult stuff, like how to be emotionally intelligent in a mythically abnormal world.

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I went off the deep end again. Landed myself in the trauma-informed loonie bin for a while. I got cocky. With the plant as my ally (but also over egobooster; not sure why), I truly crashed. Lucky for me,bi run on walking to stay healthy and mostly sane.

I didn't like the way the government controls so much of its citizens in Canada, like housing and community centre programs, and money printing causing horrific inflation issues, so it felt off when even the taxes fell from the junk food in grocery stores, all to encourage people to buy the government's bullshit food rainbow sludge to line corporate food conglomerate pockets with our hard-earned money.

Pastries everywhere, in restaurants. bakeries. Even health food stores aren't safe from the gluten contamination. And still I eat better food, year over year.

Fuck. Yes.

Another good thing, plantae-wise, is that the Canadian government is somewhat respectful of the CBD dry herb industry; farmers and micro-cultivators who want their medicine to be sold to people such as I; well, I want and rely on it for medicine too, so I'm excited for a bright future that the Cannabis plant has with us human mystics and shamans of the modern world. Une plante de guérison. It's legal! :D

I'm not done with THC. I just need more medicinal training before I dabble again with the heavy, stoned af indica.

So for now, I'm an Ambassador for the good organic CBD, and I will try to not report on the practically non-existent side effects that the CBD oil (that my dad is making for me) has on me. It is one way out of my singular obsession with mary-jane, and I'll probably be way less anti-social with my behaviour moving forward.

Alot of this to say: I'm super grateful that my parentals are still alive and well and still looking out for me and still worrying way too much. Such is that dynamic.

I too look out for their health: I love eating them all sorts of amazing organic food recipes from my extensive répertoire, from meaty chilis, to herb-and-spice heavy carrot & ginger soup, e.g., not to mention awesome alternative dips like parsnip hummus to go with carrots and fennel slices. No legumes, no grains, no cheap dairy; no problem!

I'll have to come back and add some pictures to this particular blog post.

I'm totally a foodie, and I don't need to be high off jush to be happy, so it's time to link some more pictures to my blog.

I'm looking forward to a sober x-mas season. So far, so good. I'm not perfect but I think I'll manage it for realzies this year. Organic dry red wine and NorCal Marguerita in moderation, and I'm so thankful I don't have a drinking problem, so it'll be fun to party responsibly again, I'm sure of it.

Oh, and I'm dreaming again. So no need to go and wreck that with alcohol oversufficiency anyway.

💤^_^☺️