Positive, positively charging up.

So, while I'm definitely not the most social being at the moment (however much I wish I was), my yoga practice at a very heartwarming place on Bloor Street helps me keep up to date with what goes on in Toronto. Well, at least weather wise. =P It's also nice that I get to meet people when I play badminton at various places; and of course, my wandering through the streets of Toronto certainly helps keeps things real... yo.

It's definitely not a good thing to keep up to date with the world solely through social media, the internet, and other modern forms of communication. I know this from my own extensive experience, having been connected to the internet practically daily since I was seven or eight years old, with a few escapes here and there. ((I miss Neopets, that's for sure. I was a millionaire at one point, and I was getting richer every day!))

My biggest "escape" from the mad machine thus far has been my Katimavik experience, which lasted nine months, from September 2008 to June 2009. For most of this program, the internet ((and most of the "outside" world)) meant almost nothing to me. It was merely a tool. It still is a tool, but I feel like the tool has outmaneuvered the user.

So, for the next little while, I've decided to use my blog as a tool, but with an intended purpose: sharing the love and caring that the Katimavik program instilled in me. Spreading positive energy, if you will.
The idea is simple: I'll be putting up pictures that represent/demonstrate the many amazing memories and adventures that I've done in the Katimavik program, with the hopes that it will bring back that feeling of being alive, of being at a place where I really felt my worth in the world. And the goal is for you, whoever you are reading these words, to go out and also find ways to make your world a better, caring, and perhaps more fun place to live.
With many of my readers being students, and with the end of the schooling year coming to an end soon, I feel it's an appropriate time to start this little side project, something that'll be totally different from my consistent whining and critique. (Okay, maybe that's exaggerating a bit, but it's hard to lose the "young adult" anger that I feel when I notice harsh disparities all around me).

This blog has improved my quality of life, especially at times where I've felt nothing but despair and loneliness, and has served as a refuge away from the real world for many years. But it's also been a place that has  allowed me to document my journey through existence, however intricate it may be sometimes.

Before I begin a new chapter in my repository of ideas, I'd like to share a source of inspiration (keep in mind I have many!) with you. My long time friend Kate recently started her own blogging project, and she was actually once a contributor on this very blog, back when I was just starting this project of writing into this box. A very nice box that has always accepted my thoughts, no matter how wild they may sometimes be. Her blog, aptly named Kate Inspired, is definitely a place worth checking out. I'm jealous of how captivating each of her entries are! I really like the way her pictures add so much life to everything she writes about.
And that's what I'm striving to do with this blog now: bring back some life into this soul of mine, even if to you, beloved reader, it may just be something on a computer screen.

But to me, it's part of my soul. Or if you're feeling more magical, it's my horcrux, which also happens to be my very own pensieve.
If I only managed to be more at ease around Hermione or Luna, mayhaps I wouldn't need such a sprawling pensieve...

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Starstarer

My most amazing daydreams are made by one of my most treasured and favourite authors.

I anxiously await to have the proper reading light to finish this book, and I hope I can find the first two of the series somewhere in the house to rediscover the cloud cats, my "daymares".

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Little sardines.

So I have a can of sardines in front of me. I've only eaten sardines once in my life, and I actually really loved the experience. I was sitting in front of my computer just like I am now, and I had a can of sardines. I was thinking "gosh, these sardines are super healthy!". And I felt great after eating these lovely little fishies.

I'm hungry right now, and I'm trying to finish this salad with good stuff in it that was going to go to waste if I didn't eat it like I am now. But I'm afraid that if I finish this big salad, I won't be hungry for sardines, and besides, I should be going to bed soon so I can wake up earlier tomorrow and accomplish a bunch of things that really need to get done. Even though waking up early to do things, in my world, never really increases the likelihood of my checklist getting nearer to completion. If anything, it really just gives me more room to procrastinate.

Anyway, I don't have time to worry about these things, I have to keep pondering over these sardines, or go on a tangent.

I have a really great friend from Katimavik. She often wanted people to play Sardines with her, which is a game that is supposed to be the reverse of hide-and-seek. One person hides and people go their own ways to find said person. When they find them, they hide together.

I think I was evil in that I always was consciously trying to avoid playing that game, because the closeness of being packed together like sardines scared me. Sorry, K! 

So until then, I'm just going to get my mouth to make out with my canned sardines.

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Sad & happy 1

Sometimes it's nice to be able to simplify things into black and white. Simplified does not necessarily equal "not intricate".

in·tri·cate

[in-tri-kit]

–adjective

1.

having many interrelated parts or facets; entangled or involved: an intricate maze.

Things that make me feel sad

• Losing a team game (video or otherwise) because someone didn't care enough about the game and/or gave up because it seemed impossible to win
• Having amazing adventurous ideas but no one ever having the time to do them with me
• Being afraid to mention said ideas among friends, especially acquaintances
• People wanting to hang out with me but end up forgetting to because of constraints (mental, societal etc.)
• Hearing and witnessing the cats of the house scream when they're playfighting
• Spending the day wandering the city looking for glimpses of love, hope, and happiness in public and not seeing it
• People hating on other people because of the way they choose to spend their time
• Talking about something that interests me to a group of people and having them get disinterested because I can't articulate what I want to say, or the idea in my head is confusing and I need more time to explain
• Not seeing the possibility of having someone call or write to tell me about their problems and stories
• Songbird (music player) playing tunes that I'm not feeling at the time that I hear them

Things that make me feel happy

• Someone complimenting my wealth of knowledge
• Playing a game I'm somewhat good at with friends of my generation
• Learning games in a non-time dependent setting
• Getting the wanderer's high (similar to the runner's high)
• Being able to lock eyes with someone I trust and them being able to sustain the gaze
• Coloured duct tape
• Being able to sing without worry
• Re-discovering my Yu-gi-oh cards
• Being around people who don't generalize the effects of marijuana
• Being around people who are drinking
• Being around people who don't feel the want to drink
• Finding connections with people I never knew I had
• Discovering someone's philosophy of life in a one-on-one setting
• Finding (old) presents friends gave me, especially when the presents are unintentional, but also things that I can tell had some amount of time put into them, without feeling like money came into play significantly
• My purple ink pen

There are way better examples than the ones I've listed here; I'm not that boring. I just can't think of anything right now and I just felt like writing random things down. I better post this now before I feel like re-inventing all those point forms.

I am right-hearted.

P.S. If you can relate to ANY of the points I just listed, please love a comment! If you feel you can't relate to ANY of the points I just listed, please leave a comment! :)

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