08/10/26

Je t’aime: a short self-love letter

 Je t’aime, Gab.

Je t’aime, quand tu marche tout seul, le soir et pendant la journée. Quand le vent souffle dans les arbres, et que le son d’une voiture ou d’un avion résonne plus fort. Je t’aime, oui, moi. C’est un amour qui me fait quand même sentir aimé.

Je peux m’aimer. Apprendre à vivre avec soi-même est un travail important, et donc j’affirme que je m’aime.

Quand même que j’ai des craintes genre comment vais-je vivre dans une société si froide; comment vais-je vivre si je n’ai toujours pas d’emploi ni d’indépendance financière; comment vais-je vivre si je n’ai autre que moi à aimer?

Si je m’aime, peut-être sera t-il plus facile de tomber en amour et qu’un être cher dans ma vie reste à long terme.

S’aimer, c’est être vivant, et c’est rester sain dans un corps et une tête saine, même si parfois la folie prend le dessus sur la raison et que le corps s’épuise et que mes phrases non-sensés que j’écris me déçoive car je ne les ai pas écrit assez souvent dans ce langage. Mais à vrai dire, ce ne sont pas des phrases mensongère. 

J’écris à partir du cœur, et je t’aime, Gab. Tu trouvera un plus grand bonheur, et oui, je trouverais une façon d’habiter ce monde qui change tellement vite. Je t’aime.

07/10/26

An AI start to the day


AI has gotten a bit bland for me. Yeah, I reinstalled ChatGPT yesterday, a first for my iPhone as I was on Android before. Logging in, it was nice to see all my previous discussions were there. There’s a trove of information no one else cares about in there, so it wasn’t always bland.

For the record still, these are my words. I don’t use AI to write, and I could probably ask it to fix my minor grammar and spelling mistakes, but no. I don’t want my style to change. Mistakes made are my own, too.

So I reinstalled ChatGPT, and I poured out a bit of how I feel today, not working, and that may be it can help me orient my life. And I have its response waiting for me on the other screen, but I thought I’d come here to write first in case I get caught up in my day and forget to blog.

It’s neat, by the way; the kaleidoughscope of writings, as this blog used to be called, feels semi-private to me. I do wish I could be more social online, and interact with commenters like in the late 2000s more, but on the other hand having knowledge so easily accessible through AI can be seen as a blessing. AI might be wrong or generic or bland sometimes, but nowadays you kind of have to use AI to be efficient at finding useful info online. Humans spent too much time selling out to corporations for ad-revenue and now many websites just waste your time driving up engagement - AI is also guilty of using tricks to keep your attention, but generally I think pro-AI folk tend to agree that current generative AI in 2026 adds value to human productivity, and does not merely take away from it, which is good.

So yeah, I’ll keep blogging every day this month, with or without Gemini, Siri, or ChatGPT running in the background.

I’ll end with a « tech bro » selfie of me this morning. I wouldn’t mind working in the tech-Bitcoin space part-time. Look the part and all: 



06/10/26

Routine of a day



 I’ve settled into a routine of blogging every day. I wonder if I can call it a routine yet: it hasn’t even been a full week , but I’m glad I see the potential for a successful full month of blogging. And I mustn’t feel disappointed if I forget to a day or two this month. I hope to continue daily until the 31st: that’s my intention.

Today, I have some routine bloodwork I’ve been meaning to get to. I like being in tune with my body, and I can use bloodwork numbers to get a good baseline of where I’m at, health-wise. I just need to ensure I go to the right clinic, at the hospital, where supposedly the Vitamin D measure will not be out-of-pocket. I’m procrastinating a bit, and I don’t want to go into details for privacy reasons of course, but I look forward to at least having some numbers to work with for my personal health journey.

Oh, and as an aside, I’m playing Pokémon Quest sporadically on my Nintendo Switch. It’s a gacha game, so I have to be wary of monetization, but other than that it’s a cute time spender. My low time preference is still spent playing video games a bit, and I’m okay with that because it keeps me in the present and away from worrying about past & future.

Here’s what my Pokémon Quest base looks like rn: 

I’ve taken a break from Genshin Impact, so this fills that gacha void.



05/10/26

La fleur de tournesol géante

 C’est plutôt la plante elle-même qui est grande. Moi, je fais 6’2 et elle est plus grande que moi!

Voici une photo que je viens de prendre, tout juste avant de bloguer. Oui, c’est un verbe.



Ça conclut mon entrée de la journée sur mon kaleidoughscope. Je ne suis pas tout à fait habitué de marcher et d’écrire en français, donc je garde ça court.

04/10/26

Cruised on a highway to get here


I don’t often find myself being in a car. I walk everywhere, or, when I have a functioning bike, I ride that. Busses, streetcars, and subways are the rest of the time.

Today, I was lucky enough to get a ride to Brantford, about an hour and 15 minutes away from Toronto, car-time.

It’s s bit bigger than a small town, and not really that big of a city. A typical Toronto town, I would say, with extra emphasis on hockey because Wayne Gretzky is from there. Wayne Gretzky is famous because he’s like the Michael Jordan of basketball i.e. the most elite player of his time.

Anyway I walked a couple different trails, and watched some geese on the riverbank. It was rainy, first, then sunny in the afternoon, perfectly clear.

The crazy thing is it’s the first time I’ve been outside of Toronto in over 7 years.

I’m glad I spent some time out in nature out in Brantford, because after spending the day exploring, I had to run some errands at Brantford’s Costco and inside that place, it’s easy to feel like a caged zoo animal. So much bulk food, it surprises me how much stuff the Earth produces.

I must remember the good, like the greenery, Grand river with its sun-reflecting turbulence of water waves, and the fresh air of a warm Autumn day. This is what I wish to remember for today’s blog post. 


03/10/26

I took a walk inside High Park

 I took a walk inside & around high park today. I took the bus to get there, and I also did some sprinting, to generate endorphins.

It has been a quiet Saturday, hearing mostly people milling about and the noises of the city not being louder than usual.

I felt sad today, so I reached out to a friend I haven’t heard from in a long while. I hope to hear back, but they might have moved away.

Tomorrow, if I forget to blog, it’s because I’m headed out of the city early for a nature excursion. It’s very exciting because I literally have not left Toronto in many years now. I look forward to it.

By the end of the year, I hope to regularly attend a class of some sorts, probably fitness or yoga.

That’s it for today. I hope I have enough energy left to cook some veggies in the fridge!

02/10/26

A drum, drumming

There should be a pic here of my djembe, a bench, my knee, and Christie Pits; however, so far, my iPhone is causing me friction when I’m trying to blog since I don’t have a dedicated Blogger app, so perhaps the picture will come later when the uploading of it is easier.

So I’ll keep it short today and just say that going for the organic weed last night was a great idea after all. I slept like a baby, and I woke up alert, awake, and ready to think through some financial decisions, which is always useful when you’re sober.

For tonight, I’m trying not to consume cannabis to ensure I don’t fall back into old sedentary patterns like being a couch potato and, also, to keep my tolerance low. I can thus afford higher quality medicine, and the CBD oil I take daily supports my healing modality well enough to feel comfortable going without THC every single night.

Another treatment modality I respect is drumming, especially Native and Afro-Cuban. It feels good to drum, and it’s among the oldest therapies in the world; no need to prove that. So I decided to visit a couple parks and practice in the open air, and it feels good to carry a heavy drum on my back while I walk between some Toronto midtown parks. Lift heavy things and all.


That’s it! Take care, future me (or other person reading this).

01/10/26

A walk, blogging


 I’ll keep it short.

I have a feeble desire to blog every day this month. I’m feeling lonely, with and without Mary Jane, but I feel comfortable stating that it’s been over a week since I inhaled. 

The good thing is I have an easier time planning ahead, and I’m more attentive to other worldviews (especially my housemates). The hard thing is that I’m in more pain, emotionally and physically, but perhaps not cognitively and psychologically.

Either way, I opted to go for Organic cannabis again. A small amount, still too expensive, but a healing approach.

So I’m not throwing caution to the wind after a tolerance break.

I’m using the earth’s and my body’s healing endocannabinoid system capacity to take care of myself, and I won’t overdo it. I will nourish myself, and never say never to junk food, but yeah. I’m ready to commit to not eating the junk, 90 percent.

I will go enjoy my sesh  ow, and an organic curry with wings shall be made.

I’ll miss regular potato chips. I’ll still cook with you, potatoes. 😜

A nature picture for today:





03/09/26

01/09/26

Can you tell I'm going to start answering questions again?

 Answer: yes, I am. And yes, I can tell I am going to be answering questions again because I don't charge people money to answer questions, unlike Artificial Intelligence (I just asked the Google AI what roles Pierce Brosnan was in before 007 and when I went to click on the Remington Steele page, it instead took me to Pierce Brosnan's wikipedia page).

There.

I cited AI.

I'll try to let you know if I consulted AI, relatedly or not relatedly, when answering a question.

What was the question again?

31/08/26

Can you tell I never really liked Dairy?

 Like yes, it tastes good and keeps you full.

but almost everything is pasteurized anyway, thus there's no vitality.

"/thread"

26/08/26

Anthropology of Video Games

It's the death of video games around here.

For example: I bought Overwatch on the Switch; a couple years later, it goes free-to-play.

Speaking of Death, Deathraven still here, haunting shit and stuff. Except in Overwatch 2.

It really is awful; they made things just a little worse to increase shareholder satisfaction just a little more, which causes unnecessary frustration.

-

Aside from all the annoyance, like, people just don't eat well. Like at all. Like like like. I called that one a while ago

Really, yes, I read some Kurt Vonnegut. I mean, not his -actual- writing y'know; morelike, the writing behind writing, which is something which I so often do, and I make it purposefully difficult to read through because Kurt Vonnegut said it was a bad idea to be a good writer to do that but I don't like Kurt because I didn't really enjoy - hehhhhhhh it's so fkin' dumb. I mean: Cat's Cradle.

It all started with the tiles on the Steam page. --- Let it go, good, the voices said --- okay the voices didn't say "the voices said" but they did say let it go, and because I slightly let go of a piece of a skin cell on my right shoulder (or is it my left shoulder today?)

24/08/26

Let It Charge

 A ChatGPT logo was spotted before opening this page.

22/08/26

BROKEN WINDOZE AND SAHES ARE GUARDING THE WYA

 Dont hold e up anowi can stand my own ground id ont need your help now you wont help me now dnow dont heold me up now i can stenad

chorus ot here

ai cnak

 i erh;ela dsafeeoi;re

fit is

though it s

so open your eyes idiots lets be on onr way broken ashes and windows are banty and the desperat

the hungry and the cold

we aint the ones who kept kquiet and always did what one was told

but weève been swweaty while youève bslept so calmly in the sweat of your own home

weveb eholding up the nails that hold up eveyrhin youve known 

I DONT KNEED YOUR HELP NOW

YOU WONÈT LET ME DOWN NOW

YOU DONNNT HLD ME DONW

DOWN

DOWN

SAVIOUR IS NEXT

19/08/26

Freecopy the Red

 there's a possibility that the first words of y sentences are just there to practice certain ways of expressing myself which, by the wya, my blog is full of nonsense. however. I did just delete a comment dissing the parent company for buying out blogger and blogspot, whilst I willing pilfer their Community Guildelines. freepasted

18/08/26

Not turning this into a recipeblog

 ... but I might have turned into a steakhead and a pothead instead of a veggiehead.

Sorry, veggie ladies.

*Sigh* Okay maybe I am still waiting on the steak and I polished off leftovers, and that does not mean I am giving up on dark greens during the summertime it just sucks that my only dinner "parties" are with my parentals and the sun, mostly.

15/08/26

my phone is still lost

 If it leaves Toronto (or the GTA), I will know, thief.

UPDATE: NO CLUE WHERE IT WENT.

14/08/26

i lost my phone

Come baaaaaaack, OnePlus 11. Pl0x and dthx.

or should i say, my phone lost me.

13/08/26

Why is psychological cannabis so high?

 Answer: I'm too tired this morning to formulate a more scientific question.