Back to gaming

I've taken a break from my Nintendo Switch... to play Path of Exile on PC. Technically, that's accurate because although I'm inputting my commands on an ancient iMac (we're talking early 2010s here), the game itself is being run on a high-end PC somewhere in a data centre owned by Nvidia. And then I'm streaming the game to a nice screen, basically. So yeah, cloud gaming.

At the risk of losing my readers by going into details on the hours I spend playing Path of Exile... there's a new league out. See, every three months or so, the developers of PoE release a new mini-expansion to the game, with new content and new challenges to complete. And they've been doing this for years now, and some of the new temporary content gets added permanently, so after all this time there's actually quite a lot to do in the game. But this also makes the game more and more complex. I hadn't played for years (because you need a decent PC to have any hope of playing it) until I rediscovered it with cloud gaming, and I was barely able to make my way through because of all the new content that had been added since I had last played.

Path of Exile is an ARPG, which stands for Action Role Playing Game. It's isometric, so you're controlling your dude or dudette from above. If you're familiar with the Diablo series, it's a spiritual successor to Diablo 2 (but way better!). There are a bunch of classes, and each class has 3 sub classes, but the key to customization is the massive "passive tree" where you allocate one point per level. So you run around killing monsters and collecting loot to upgrade your character to tackle harder content. And you can trade with other players using the game's currency system which, unlike many other RPG games, avoids gold altogether by utilizing a massive variety of "currency" that you can spend to craft items, modify the content you're running, or use to buy items from other players.

So I'm playing a Poison Seismic Trap Saboteur (Seismic Trap is the main skill I use, and I'm using it to inflict poison damage from the physical damage it causes; Saboteur is the "Ascendancy" (or sub-class) of the Shadow class). And this particular combination is really powerful, and really popular for the current patch (played by 13% of players at the time, which is massive considering there are literally hundreds of possible main skill/class combinations). So I'm part of the "meta".

Often, the more advanced players will start with a "league starter", and then make a whole new character once they've accumulated enough wealth on their 1st character, and all this within the 3-month league window. They'll make multiple characters, even, to tackle different content. Me, it's too much of a time investment to do that (and it takes me too much time to level the characters up through the boring part of the game for veterans; the campaign/levelling section), so I'm still on my 1st character and I don't plan to make another one until we move on to the next league and this current character doesn't matter anymore.

Okay, so that was a rough overview of Path of Exile, and I will end it here with a screenshot so you get some semblance, visually, of the game I'm talking about:

 

The dude with the fiery wings is the guy I control; you can see some zombie things blinded by one of my skills to the left of my character.

Puzzled by large moving objects

I walk down the street and I observe all sorts of big SUVs and similar vehicles everywhere. And I start to wonder what kind of life these people have to be able to afford these things. What kind of jobs they have, the stress they have to deal with, the responsibilities they take care of. And while I have no desire to own an SUV (I might feel different if I had my driver's license), still, I compare myself to these ghosts of people that are inside these roaming vehicles.

Are they not stressed out by the debt they undertake? Isn't it annoying to have to pay so much every month when there's public transit and biking in the city?

The other day, I saw what I call the "parade of terrible investments". It's a lineup of dozens of SUVs, idling, waiting to pick up their kids single file at a local school. They have a whole system that "snakes" the vehicles around and back out through the public streets. I am always impressed when I pass by this. What a strange thing it is to behold, if you think about it. But, it passes off as totally normal.

I can't afford these large moving objects, and so I wonder about them.

Mid-December snowy weather

There's snow outside. I like it for the most part. Only thing I don't like is that it makes it harder to get around town, as I usually bike. If there's only a little snow it's not bad, but it limits the space you get on the road so there can't be much if I want to bike comfortably.

Work is good. A little repetitive, but I enjoy the customer interaction more than I thought I would. People are pretty kind actually. And they understand if I don't know things if I tell them I'm new.

I'm feeling sad. Just some regular sadness, nothing big. It's kind of lonely in my world, but it could be worse. The cats, I enjoy their company. They're always around, and they enjoy the attention I give them. They don't seem very concerned about worldly things. And I doubt they care about loneliness.

I've fallen back on some old patterns. I try not to view them as negative. I do eat more, though. But my weight gain isn't there. So I should be happy about that. And I still work out. I just don't do as many activities as I used to, giving myself the excuse that I'm busier with work and I'm not used to it. And it's wintertime, which usually leads to fewer outdoor activities.

So I guess I'm feeling sad and a little bit anxious because I'm not taking care of myself as much as I used to. And I feel like I let someone down because I was disinterested in what they were talking about. And I don't like that feeling, but I genuinely wasn't interested. I still enjoy cooking. And the anxiety is more of a physical feeling, and I'm looking forward to yoga later today, even if I can't get there by bike.

A singsong

At my old job, we had 3 speakers strategically placed throughout the small business for listening to pretty much anything we wanted. Not everyone had the same tastes, so when I got to pick the playlists I tried to play "neutral" music, stuff that you could hear on the radio, especially when I knew coworkers would be coming in and out of the room. The Beatles were often a pretty safe choice.

One of my coworkers didn't like the heavy stuff (i.e. metal), but he did like to sing. The singing wasn't half-bad, honestly, and it never really bothered me. Adds a bit of levity to the work grind.

Out of all the songs he could sing in the Beatles repertoire, this one sticks out because I haven't heard it often but boy did he like to belt this one out: