Dendrology /dɛnˈdrɒlədʒi/ [MASS NOUN] - the scientific study of trees. After not having slept very well, I woke up early and decided... to stay in bed for a long while, never actually going back to sleep. After having gotten my Reddit dose and finally gotten out of bed, I took my shower and plunged into my psychology textbook. While reading, I thought to myself: "Gee, this is sort of interesting but I can't wait till I'm all caught up and can move on to more fun things". And after having completed (some of) my readings, I had a buzzing brain and a slight hunger, so I ate breakfast. As I did not want to get sucked back into my intellectual garble of words, I fought off feelings of laziness and stress and put on my boots to go for a walk in Cedarvale ravine.
Fallen tree on path
Fallen trees were numerous on the trail. With quick thinking, I busted out my camera and took a picture of a tree and thought to myself: "Great! I can take this picture and come up with how this tree is a metaphor for something or another in my life."
A big one right on the path
But fuck it. There's no point intellectualizing the situation. I'm just going to put up more pictures of (broken) trees. And fewer words.
My favourite tree in Cedarvale
Just a note about my favourite tree, pictured above. Since this tree was fallen long before the storm, it actually wasn't damaged all that much. Maybe I'll make a post another time about why this is my favourite tree.
A resilient little birch tree
I used to know trees better when I was a boy scout. Actually, I just knew the names in french.
Heavy damage at the subway exit
I took these pictures a month after the ice storm. Still quite a lot of damage visible.
Crap bag on tree
Trying to come up with reasons why this happened is futile. Maybe by hanging the turd, the dog owner is making it easier for people who pick up other people's dog crap to collect it. How considerate!
Canadian geese in High Park
Bonus picture: I took this in High Park a couple days ago. Shouldn't they be in the South by now? How strange.
Classical free writing; wondering what the future holds.
I see possibilities hampered by a hermitage. But I also see happiness found through engagement.
Find your own way. Be motivated, but don't rely on others to make life great for you.
If you work hard, you will achieve what you seek. If you fail to get yourself moving, you will remain at a standstill.
The oracle is nothing more than your own wisdom. Your creativity is limitless. Your potential is always there. It is only your will that needs more strength.
Take this chance and wake up with a bright outlook. Commit to doing little things, and build up from there.
Get ahead of your readings. Read read read instead of consuming mindless media. Improve your social skills.
I'm skipping right ahead to Paramore's fourth and latest studio album, simply called Paramore, because there's a song I feel like describing that has to do with my current state of mind.
The song is called Be Alone, and as you might guess, it's about being alone. Not necessarily loneliness, mind you, but the mere fact of being on your own.
Queue the opening verses.
So what if I don't have, A lot to talk about? I shut my mouth and keep it, Locked until it counts. And what if I don't ever want, To leave my house? Stay on the couch while All my friends are going out.
Such is my situation right now. It is Friday night. No doubt some of my friends are going out, and meanwhile I'm sitting on the La-Z-Boy, blogging, and waiting for Elder Scrolls Online to finish installing.
Wouldn't it be nice to be alone with someone, though? Does that even make sense? It sure does, according to Paramore. The chorus goes:
You should be alone, Yeah, you should be alone, You should be alone with me. We could be alone, Yeah, we could be alone, But never get too lonely.
So maybe I'm not that lonely after all. I guess I'm alone with you, reader.
Among some of the rest of the lyrics, I find the following to be most illuminating:
See, I ain't one to climb Some social ladder too. Some Shangri-La That all the cool kids will abuse.
This could be talking about society's obsession with upward mobility and abusing the system. I'm not quite sure.
Either way, I'm content with being on my own right now. But as weird as it sounds, I guess I'm never really totally alone when Lyra's around.
For my next Paramore song, I've chosen Miracle from their second studio album, Riot!.
Strangely enough, this is the song that got me into Paramore. The first song I learned by heart. The first song I clearly remembering listening to and falling in love with Hayley's voice.
I say "strangely" because it seems like this song is virtually unknown. I've never heard anyone mentioning it and I've never heard it played at one of their live shows. I've never seen it quoted by anyone, and yet it's on Riot!, an album full of rocking songs. I think that may be it: Riot! is full of really powerful songs and this one just gets overshadowed.
How I relate to this song
Right off the bat, the guitar picks up and soon enough, Hayley chimes in with:
I've gone for too long Living like I'm not alive So I'm going to start over tonight Beginning with you and I
When I hear these lyrics, it stirs me into mental action. A realization of sorts. I tell myself: "Wow, I have been living like I'm not alive. Doing the same old routine, running in circles all the time and not paying attention to the beauty that is life all around me. I need to change that right now." But how?
Queue the chorus. I'm not going 'cause I've been waiting for a miracle And I'm not leaving I won't let you, let you give up on a miracle When it might save you
Simply, this gives me hope that there is magic in life. That there are miracles, however invisible, and that life is not all mundane and that there is sacredness if you choose to believe in it. "Lyra" exemplifies this for me.
We've learned to run from Anything uncomfortable We've tied our pain below And no one ever has to know That inside we're broken I try to patch things up again To count my tears and kill these fears But have I told you, have I?
Wow. Powerful stuff. I see a lot of the wisdom that is the lyricism of Williams and Farro, back when Joshua was still in the band.
This section of the song, to me, speaks about human instincts, running away from what we do not want in our lives. And it speaks about the shadow, the darkness that we hide from others in order to appear sane. But it also illustrates the capacity to heal things.
We'll get it right this time It's not faith if you're using your eyes
That particular lyric, "It's not faith if you're using your eyes", confounds me. But that's the cool thing about music. You don't need to understand what something means to feel it inside.
I've noticed a pattern, related to a particular lyric in "Brick by Boring Brick", a song from their third album. I'll see if I can make a link when I take a look at this incredible song in a future analysis, but here's the lyric if you want to try and see a connection:
If it's not real You can't hold it in your hand You can't feel it with your heart And I won't believe it But if it's true You can see it with your eyes Oh, even in the dark
Alright, that's enough Paramore writing for the day.
I've been asked a couple times why I'm so much into Paramore; why I go to all their shows, buy their memorabilia, and idolize Hayley. It's simple. Their songs lift my spirits and untangle my sometimes confusing reality. They help me explain the unexplainable, reason the unreasonable, and provide me with hope in my periods of despair.
So for my own sake, I figured I'd try and relate how I feel with some of their songs. Here's the first one. It's not my favourite, but I relate to it at an intellectual and somewhat emotional level. It's called Conspiracy, from their first studio album All we know is falling.
How I relate to this song
The song begins with the lyrics: Please speak softly, for they will hear us And they'll find out why we don't trust them.
There was a time in my life where I was very paranoid; where I was locked up in an institution and the psychiatrists and the nurses were trying to help me and get me to talk about what I was thinking. I never could trust them enough to tell them anything, so I spoke softly to Lyra instead.
The bridge goes: Where can I turn? 'Cause I need something more Surrounded by uncertainty, I'm so unsure Tell me why I feel so alone 'Cause I need to know to whom do I owe
I relate this to my paranoia and loneliness, unable to make decisions on my own. And unsure who to turn to.
The chorus starts: Explain to me this conspiracy against me
There was a time in my life when that would have been nice.
