Monday

It's 2 am and I can't seem to get to sleep tonight.
I mean, I haven't tried, but it might help if some lights were off and I was in my bed.

Over the weekend I went yet again to a friend's cottage and had a good time. I feel lucky to have so many friends with cottages, it's real nice to get away from the city once in a while. There was some windsurfing done, and playing fetch with a really big dog. There was also some scrabble playing, which I seem to be getting much better at lately. I usually don't do so well.
Or maybe my friends just suck.

I'm hoping in the coming weeks to have some interesting, introspective writings to share with you on here, more of my philosophy, if you will. Maybe fluff it up a bit, make it sound interesting. My mind has some considerable creative potential, I believe. I just need to NOT be lazy and just tap into it. After all, my mind has been with me all my life, I might as well use it to a fuller extent instead of wasting time reading the shitty newspapers.

Sometime, I'll write some of the ambitions I have on here. I can't seem to find them right now. And you might be wondering what I'm doing with my life these days. To be honest, I'm wondering what you're doing with yours. What are YOUR ambitions? Maybe I could steal some and use them as pseudo-ambitions till mine magically fall into my hands.

I miss reading letters from people. Not that I ever did get very many letters, but if I were a famous writer or something, I think one of my favourite things would be reading the mail that I get. Not so much e-mails, more like real letters, even though I guess e-mails are probably more earth-friendly. It's just that handwritten letters have so much more character to them.

That's it for now, good night and have a good Monday.
Also this was written on Monday, but my internet cut out so I just saved it locally then posted it later.

Stuck in my head

There's this song that plays in my head, and it's been around for a while now, maybe a few months. I don't mind that it doesn't want to leave.

It's called Calendar Girl by Stars.


It's a very emotionally loaded song, in my opinion. The lyrics talk about this girl who's going through life and finding the days difficult. The days and months come and go, and she's eventually glad to just be alive.

It's a really beautiful song.
I remember the first time I heard it, about nine months ago in Halifax. I was up one morning after a lot of drinking and I hadn't slept very well at all. The sun was shining brightly through the window that I had covered with a sheet, and so I decided to take my iPod and headphones and walk to this place called Citadel Hill.
It's a neat place to explore, as it's an old fort with cannons and munitions storage places and little tunnels and things. Also, on top of this hill, you can see much of Halifax and the ocean.

I'd recommend you listen to it sometime, reader.

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I've decided for now that my favourite band is Dream Theater and I'm debating whether to see them in October at Massey Hall. I'm sure their live shows are really, really good. But to be honest, I'd rather hear them play old songs that I like, instead of hearing the new stuff they're promoting. They have so many amazing albums, like Scenes from a Memory and Seven Degrees of Inner Turbulence that I would love to experience live.

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I'm 21 today. I wish that during my teenage years, I had had more posters of cool bands and been more of a quintessential teenager, lying in my bed in my room with my arms behind my head listening to some metal songs. Or maybe doing some creative things like writing (my blog counts a little, I guess), having long talks on the phone with a friend, or learning how to throw playing cards at people.

Somehow, I think spending SO much time on the computer has dulled me somehow. Dulled some of my personal potential, and my potential for enjoyment of many activities. It's definitely affected me physically, and very much so mentally. My perception of the world (i.e. my worldview), it seems, is largely based on information I've accumulated from years of being connected online. And it kind of scares me, that my brain has years of brainwashing from a screen.

I kind of want to elaborate on this concept, and my blog is a good place to explore this, but... I've decided I want to talk about it with a friend over the phone sometime. Maybe you, K, or perhaps M. Or someone else sometime, depending on how I feel.

I'm not exactly depressed, but I'm not really motivated about (with?) life.

Karma Aspiration Langune Entité Iodinement Dérive Oisellerie Ulysse Guimauve Hurlement Salutaire Citronelle Ophilie Perspicace Ettore

Glub glub and the mouse

Summer glides along so effortlessly and so quickly, it saddens me how when my birthday comes around, it is the beginning of the end for people who return to their learning domains to get stuff done for another academic year.

I wish I could fill up my HP bar as easily as seeing a healer and getting topped off before heading out to adventure Earth.

I drank some tea a little while ago, it was apple cinnamon flavoured.

I'll blog with some interesting writings in the days to come, I feel a little re-inspired these days. Just a little.

Karma Aspiration Langune Entité Iodinement Dérive Oisellerie Ulysse Guimauve Hurlement Salutaire Citronelle Ophilie Perspicace Ettore

Let's liven a planet, 1

This place is ugly.
We made it so ugly.
And we're making it uglier every day, warping natural resources into "stylish" buildings and streets.
Destroying ecosystems for money.

I wish there was a planet far, far away that would be willing to give a second chance to humans. But not all humans. Only nice humans.
Corrupt, evil humans can't go anywhere near it.
And there wouldn't be too many of us, but enough to have variety and differences.

Living in harmony with nature, with some useful technological advances, like convenient access to water, and renewable energy. But nothing anywhere close to the industrial exploitation that civilizations here have created.

And on this planet, everyone would have a useful role that is fair for each person.
There would be healers and lovers, laughers and singers.
There would be work, dignified work to keep you busy, and there would be no need for job interviews because you'd be recognized for what you are, not for what you can pretend to be.
Work itself wouldn't be boring - you'd learn skills that would benefit you and others for the rest of your life.

Earth, I'm truly sorry.
... To be continued.

Karma Aspiration Langune Entité Iodinement Dérive Oisellerie Ulysse Guimauve Hurlement Salutaire Citronelle Ophilie Perspicace Ettore

Fixating on my life; circle of nothing

I spend way too much time thinking about my existence.

Existence with conscious lack of efforts equals a waste of time.

Time goes by and memories that provided good feelings slowly slip away.

Away to another planet, lifetime, universe with "déjà-vu" is a concept that I believe to be real.

Real events and relationships among humans often make me feel alone and depressed, especially when viewed through media.

Media today has wrecked havoc on my perception of how people are.

Are we destined as a species to live and destroy for comfort and to exploit everything we can?

Can I find a way to help combat the destruction of civilization while staying happy?

Happy life, come back, I know you haven't left me.

Karma Aspiration Langune Entité Iodinement Dérive Oisellerie Ulysse Guimauve Hurlement Salutaire Citronelle Ophilie Perspicace Ettore

Volunteer me away

I think being cooped up inside during the winter makes me blog more. Don't you think?

It's not that I don't have the time to blog, it's that...well... I get lazy around this time.

Still on the Katimavik theme, I REALLY wish I could redo the program.

I could be a PL (project leader), but somehow, I'd rather be a volunteer and be a group member... again. And feel useful, and feel like I'm doing a difference for PEOPLE. Not for companies and businesses and corporations. PEOPLE.

I feel I'm kinda young to be a PL anyway. And driving a bunch of hooligans around scares me shitless. Even though an above-average amount of people I meet because of Katimavik are above-average mature.

There's a voice inside my head that tells me "to be useful, you don't need to be in Katimavik". Yeah, I know. Sure makes it a lot easier to feel useful when you're surrounded by people with similar goals and life purposes, though. 

Superhero night. I've never been one to dress up, but I guess I put a little bit of effort into being long-haired-Fonzie with "luscious red lips", as K put it. Once in a while, I get really red lips. I think in this case, it was something to do with the cold + warm mixing my smackers up. I think I could fulfill the french Fonz. When you look at it, the Fonz' quintessential "É" is best written in french.

We're like the power rangers, really. Katimavikers such as us are, like, super strong, when we're united. Climbing mountains and shiz like that.

I sure do like living in the past, because I'm quite fearful of the future. It doesn't make sense to have so many people live in so close proximity to you and not be able to share life experience. It's so unnatural. And I don't really want to go next door and talk to neighbours. Most of us live in bubbles. Made of bricks and stone.

Where am I going with my life?

Karma Aspiration Langune Entité Iodinement Dérive Oisellerie Ulysse Guimauve Hurlement Salutaire Citronelle Ophilie Perspicace Ettore