Memento

I don't watch movies very often, probably less than once a month. But yesterday evening, I felt like watching something, so I spent like half an hour browsing action, adventure, and sci-fi categories in the Kanopy movie database. I settled on Memento. I enjoyed it! It's about a guy who's trying to find his wife's killer while suffering from a type of amnesia where he can't form new short term memories. So he has to leave notes for himself to keep track of his life. And the movie is edited in such a way so that it sort of feels like you're suffering from the same memory issues as the main character all while actually telling a coherent story. Critics were right: it's a good movie.

Cold shower

I'm up to five days in a row now. Five days where, at the end of my shower, I turn the dial way over to the cold side and spend the last 30 seconds under an icy flow, willing myself to breathe normally.

Is it a fad? Is it a "lifehack"? Does it do any good?

Anecdotally, yes to the last question! This morning, I was feeling anxious, but I feel better after doing the above. It's like a switch, turning off the mental buzzing, and forcing you to feel instead of think. The cold shower has a powerful physiological effect, and I just feel better.

I haven't delved deep into the scientific literature at all, only seen recommendations here and there on the internet, and I have a friend who's done some cold dunking in an actual river, which is a far cry from what I call my "transition" showers going from hot>cold. But yes, I can confirm, having some semblance of a cold shower has a positive effect on my mood.

So even if it's a fad, a "biohack", or whatever other term you wanna label it, I'm going to keep up with this newfound routine. It gets easier to do the more you do it.

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Weather's been crazy. It was summer-hot a couple days ago, pushing 28 degrees celsius, and now it's back down to 4... Mother nature's mood swings in tandem with climate change, I guess.

Reflection on weirdness

I often find myself encountering stuff I've written in the past on various forums or other places on the internet that I've visited before. Or on my blog, obviously. And sometimes, I shake my head and try and understand wtf I wrote. I try and understand the headspace I was in when I wrote something, and it's incredibly difficult. And I realize, with some embarrassment, that some of these things that I've written and forgotten about are kinda crazy and not coherent.

I think some of these writings can be attributed to wanting to "freewrite" the thoughts down somewhere and not caring about what I'm actually saying. Other times, I've written something with a purpose and a general idea, but taking it to an extreme.

Here's an example of something I came across which I've now removed from my Steam profile:

"Don't talk nutrition with me unless we're very close friends. Don't bring me your sugar. Don't try and sell your garbage-processed-transformed food-like items to me (and that includes cookies).

With that out of the way, yes, I still like to play video games but I'm transitioning away from iMac and moving back into the Windows world eventually.

e=mc^2 is not a reason to drink alcohol.
I like plants.
I like transformed plants less, but I like them, too.
I like animals best of all.
And I often play games with cool people.

And finally, I'm awesome because I usually like playing as fairly as possible. "

Who am I addressing here? Who would even "try" to sell me junk food? I either buy it or I don't. When I wrote the above, I was likely in "extreme-healthnut-mode" and rejecting all sorts of foods and focusing on only eating the very healthiest stuff. Well, that couldn't last forever. But I can always improve.

What does the speed of light have to do with drinking alcohol?

Am I saying I like nature, or that I like oil, or something else?

True, in the past, I played games with cool people. These days, it's very much a solo thing aside from random global chat interactions in games that support that kind of communication.

Finally, qualifying my awesomeness with how fairly I play games is just weird. I mean, I do literally have a clock with a metal engraving saying "Gabriel is awesome and stuff." that I got as a present when I was 18 and volunteering in Vancouver, so I wonder if I saw my clock and needed to write about being awesome.

In my current headspace, I just have to laugh about this stuff. I'm just glad I'm not doing more damaging things when I get into weird states.

Dogs & Time

 Harmlessly passing the time only dimly aware of a certain unease in the air

For some reason, the above quote drifts in and out of my head, almost on a daily basis and has been doing so for the past week. There's music accompanying it as well, because it's taken from a Pink Floyd song. I think it's taken from Dogs, on the excellent Animals album. But I'm not sure if I've got the quote quite right, and I'm not bothering to look it up.

I don't know what to make of it. It seems like it could be insightful, something to reflect on. 

Now that I think about it, it makes me think of another Pink Floyd song, much more well-known, called Time (Dark Side of the Moon is the album, of course). There's a quote in there that goes: "Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day". That one, I'm sure I've got right because David Gilmour enunciates it so clearly, in an iconic way really.

Anyway, I wonder if I've somehow mixed up the two songs and altered the lyrics for Dogs as such. Am I harmlessly passing my time? Is the clock ticking my time away? I dunno. Here, I'll make Dogs the "Song of the Day" and link it below to mull over.