The edge of Sorrow's Blade

Lights sings about being at the edge of Sorrow's Blade. I don't quite know what it means, but for some reason I always find myself contemplating this metaphor inside my head.

I can't say I've been sad (or sorrowful, for that matter) for most of my life, least of all my childhood. I've never been diagnosed with depression, but I have been diagnosed with Bipolar Type 2; supposedly, this "disease" comes with periods of depression. It's just a label. It's just a label.
Maybe I've been wielding the sword for so long now that I'm just used to it, and I just don't see it as depression.

I'm often bursting with creativity - even in my periods of sadness or despair. It's rare that I actually act on the convoluted mass of creativity that swirls around in my head, but I like to think that this blog is an outlet that releases this creativity in a purposeful way. At the very least, I work on my writing skills.

In some of my more creative episodes, I end up endlessly theorizing the world. I come up with wild and often far-fetched theories that explain existence and phenomena; basically, what a scientist would call "pseudo-science". I don't care what you label it as, the truth is I come up with these ideas on a whim and sometimes even feel them. It's really difficult to explain. But I know that most of these ideas are often crazy and make no sense in the contemporary world. So I don't readily share them - even on this blog.

In fact, I feel like a lot of my words on here are merely substitutes for what I really think and feel. I don't know, have you ever met someone who could express themselves with absolute clarity? I haven't. So maybe it's not so crazy after all that I pour myself onto the page, month after month, year after year.

To end this post, I've decided to transcribe a few bullet points I found stashed away in an old journal of mine.

There are many reasons why one could find themselves at the edge of Sorrow's Blade. Here's a list from my own personal experience:

• Heartbreak
• Loneliness
• Broken friendship
• Cruelty in the world
• Environmental destruction
• Disconnection from the natural realm
• Lack of connection with spiritualists
• Blatant abuse of power for personal gain
• Harsh words
• Inability to communicate with others

It's not a very long list, and some are kinda silly (harsh words? dunno what I was thinking when I wrote that), but you get the point.