Un sourire, cachant une multitude de pensées.
Un regard, illustrant des milliers de reflexions.
Et une image camouflé dans un visage.
Je ne comprendrais jamais pourquoi tu te cache.
Et si je comprenais, je saurais comment te trouver et peut être nous pourrions vivre simplement, tous les deux.
Mais les nuits allongent et le temps accélère; et malgré mes souhaits bienveillants, je retombe dans ma noirceur.
Un de ces jours, je saurais comment allonger le temps et je te retrouverais.
Et quand cela arrivera, je sourirais à nouveau.
2013-09-24
2013-09-17
The edge of Sorrow's Blade
Lights sings about being at the edge of Sorrow's Blade. I don't quite know what it means, but for some reason I always find myself contemplating this metaphor inside my head.
I can't say I've been sad (or sorrowful, for that matter) for most of my life, least of all my childhood. I've never been diagnosed with depression, but I have been diagnosed with Bipolar Type 2; supposedly, this "disease" comes with periods of depression. It's just a label. It's just a label.
Maybe I've been wielding the sword for so long now that I'm just used to it, and I just don't see it as depression.
I'm often bursting with creativity - even in my periods of sadness or despair. It's rare that I actually act on the convoluted mass of creativity that swirls around in my head, but I like to think that this blog is an outlet that releases this creativity in a purposeful way. At the very least, I work on my writing skills.
In some of my more creative episodes, I end up endlessly theorizing the world. I come up with wild and often far-fetched theories that explain existence and phenomena; basically, what a scientist would call "pseudo-science". I don't care what you label it as, the truth is I come up with these ideas on a whim and sometimes even feel them. It's really difficult to explain. But I know that most of these ideas are often crazy and make no sense in the contemporary world. So I don't readily share them - even on this blog.
In fact, I feel like a lot of my words on here are merely substitutes for what I really think and feel. I don't know, have you ever met someone who could express themselves with absolute clarity? I haven't. So maybe it's not so crazy after all that I pour myself onto the page, month after month, year after year.
To end this post, I've decided to transcribe a few bullet points I found stashed away in an old journal of mine.
There are many reasons why one could find themselves at the edge of Sorrow's Blade. Here's a list from my own personal experience:
I can't say I've been sad (or sorrowful, for that matter) for most of my life, least of all my childhood. I've never been diagnosed with depression, but I have been diagnosed with Bipolar Type 2; supposedly, this "disease" comes with periods of depression. It's just a label. It's just a label.
Maybe I've been wielding the sword for so long now that I'm just used to it, and I just don't see it as depression.
I'm often bursting with creativity - even in my periods of sadness or despair. It's rare that I actually act on the convoluted mass of creativity that swirls around in my head, but I like to think that this blog is an outlet that releases this creativity in a purposeful way. At the very least, I work on my writing skills.
In some of my more creative episodes, I end up endlessly theorizing the world. I come up with wild and often far-fetched theories that explain existence and phenomena; basically, what a scientist would call "pseudo-science". I don't care what you label it as, the truth is I come up with these ideas on a whim and sometimes even feel them. It's really difficult to explain. But I know that most of these ideas are often crazy and make no sense in the contemporary world. So I don't readily share them - even on this blog.
In fact, I feel like a lot of my words on here are merely substitutes for what I really think and feel. I don't know, have you ever met someone who could express themselves with absolute clarity? I haven't. So maybe it's not so crazy after all that I pour myself onto the page, month after month, year after year.
To end this post, I've decided to transcribe a few bullet points I found stashed away in an old journal of mine.
There are many reasons why one could find themselves at the edge of Sorrow's Blade. Here's a list from my own personal experience:
- Heartbreak
- Loneliness
- Broken friendship
- Cruelty in the world
- Environmental destruction
- Disconnection from the natural realm
- Lack of connection with spiritualists
- Blatant abuse of power for personal gain
- Harsh words
- Inability to communicate with others
It's not a very long list, and some are kinda silly (harsh words? dunno what I was thinking when I wrote that), but you get the point.
2013-09-04
The Back Campus
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| What it used to look like. |
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| What it looks like now |
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| Here comes the astroturf. |
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| This is why I want to be an environmentalist. |
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