Mountain inspired

A quick video of my Katimagroup on top of a mountain, sharing a little Katimawisdom with the world.
I didn't think it was a cool idea at the time, I wandered away at the end.

Ha ha, Katimawandering was sweet, it's definitely a recurring topic on my blog, this wandering thing.

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I saw an amazing movie at Cinéfranco (French-Canadian version of TIFF) today named 2 Frogs in the West. It tells the tale of a 20 year old from Quebec who just packs up and leaves home to go out to BC -with a backpack and barely any funds- just to get away from it all, get away from society's hold on us to make money and build a life with it. With so many anglophones floating around and a far-from-perfect mastery of english, she manages to connect with people with the help of a francophone living in Whistler.
Love and the raw beauty of the west coast made this movie thrilling to watch. And the difficulties of being around people who are in a totally different world were very realistically portrayed.

There's a very good reason I love this movie - minus the language barrier, it's very similar to my experience travelling all the way out east to Nova Scotia. There's even a scene where we see the little closet-crawlspace she sleeps in while staying in Whistler - one very similar to my "harry potter" closet that was my room in Halifax.

It's an independent Quebec movie, and it beats the crap out of any of the big american movies I've seen, it's so canadien. The music in the movie for a whole bunch of scenes was really, really good, I want the DVD and soundtrack, I'd love to support a low-budget film that's so well done. I can't remember the last time there was a DVD I actually wanted.

Et je n'oublie certainment pas que le film avait une très belle comédienne québécoise comme lead, je pense qu'on dit encore un pétard, mais je n'ai jamais vraiment pas l'occasion d'utiliser ces beau mots en Ontario. Waou, ce film m'a donné une sensation de manque pour le Québec. J'en ai marre de parler le français de mes parents à la maison.
Il y a tellement de la culture jeune-francophone qui est englouti par l'anglais et tous les autres langues qui se retrouve, dispersés et amalgamés partout autour de moi.

Au centre de l'univers.

http://www.2frogs.ca/ J'adore ce style d'aventure humaine.
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Mossy hissy

It has often been part of my "photographic philosophy" to tell people that I don't really like taking pictures of them. I prefer landscapes and natural things. People rarely seem to be themselves when viewed in pictures. I have something against the Facebookian mentality of living, and I think this condition is doing a lot of damage in modern society. Indeed, one need only surf through images on someone's profile to gain a superficial understanding of someone's life, even if they never really spend time with them. I say this from my own eyes, and from my own realization that I barely really know anyone I have on my friends list. 

I've only owned one digital camera in my life (the one that I still use), and there's something about people and pictures that makes me uncomfortable.

I certainly don't mind being in pictures, though. It's a good way of dealing with the swirl of memories that accumulates as we grow older, but it can be so overwhelming at times. I like to see pictures to stir up memories, and then hope that I get inspired to do something more with them, whether it be in Fotoshop or an adventure outside. Unfortunately, I rarely have the courage to just go out and do things with people.

So I return to nature, or some form of it.

The two pictures above were taken in BC, during the last two months of my Katimavik life. A majestic two months, without a doubt.

There was lots of moss behind J's house, and I felt so happy there. When people were busy being together, I was busy being apart, but not too far, in the wonderful woods behind the house. A treasure trove of nature, nothing less.

The beat down shed, on the other hand, was far elsewhere, atop a mountain. And I was so happy to see how earth had conquered the ski lift. I had to take a picture of it.

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You'll notice I've drastically slowed down my blogging. It's stupid and hypocritical of me; I just haven't been feeling too happy lately. And barely a few posts ago I was saying how blogging helps deal with problems. I've been horribly reclusive, to the point of despair a couple times in the past few days.

I think the (big) snowfall expected for tomorrow will cheer me up; terrible, I know, but somehow, I smile on the inside when I can just picture so many people complaining about how they thought spring had arrived, only to be proved wrong by a heap of white stuff.

Smile smile. :)

Candid pictures, I regret not. I was 18.

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Strewn fatalities.

There's something about being with a group of people that gives a great sense of power. Alone, the human does not thrive. When you're with people, and you're in something together, realms of possibilities open up.

Below, we have a carefully prepared biking accident.

Rigor mortis really bloated me up.

We did this picture for a very interesting Vancouverish project, which was to create a zine to promote sustainable transportation. A zine, from what I remember, is a sort of underground publication, and it's not a very "professional" thing. A bunch of pages photocopied and given out to whoever takes them.

The picture was taken behind our house, in an alleyway with frequent scooters. We then placed the picture in our zine, and distributed it at an event called Critical Mass, where a whole bunch of bikers show up and ride, ride, RIDE!

The great thing about my Katimagroup is that when inspiration went around, there was enough push from a few people in the group to actually go and do things. I thought this photo shoot was a pretty good idea.

Groups are stronger than most individuals; most individuals like to feel included in groups.

In retrospect, Katimavik taught me that inclusion is a very, very powerful thing. Feel the inclusion that you have in your life, and if you can't do that, look into your memories and find it, and grow from there to express it to others in whatever way seems appropriate.

La solitude ne peut pas t'engloutir.

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From the beginning.

Circle of life. Me, I try and think outside of that circle. Sure, life is what we are, and in a healthy ecosystem, things go in a circle.

But what about beyond that? Our minds have the capacity to transcend the physicality of life.

... Anyway, I'm thinking in the clouds now, time to dazzle things up:

Shoulders ruin everything. It's almost a perfect circle, but a perfect circle wouldn't leave room for any escapes.

This picture was taken within the first or second week that I started the Katimavik program, in Strathroy, Ont. Somewhat reluctantly, I joined in on this quintessential Katimavik group photo. It was a tough mental thing for me to do, lying down and trusting that my head would be fine surrounded by all these other heads, ha ha.

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This was taken in a park, at the very beginning of autumn, but with enough sun to keep things bright.

Strange, how I seem to relish in the sunlight. The moonlight is held much dearer to my heart.

But nights aren't very good for crystal clear pictures such as this.

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To me, this picture simply symbolizes trust among friends.

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Positive, positively charging up.

So, while I'm definitely not the most social being at the moment (however much I wish I was), my yoga practice at a very heartwarming place on Bloor Street helps me keep up to date with what goes on in Toronto. Well, at least weather wise. =P It's also nice that I get to meet people when I play badminton at various places; and of course, my wandering through the streets of Toronto certainly helps keeps things real... yo.

It's definitely not a good thing to keep up to date with the world solely through social media, the internet, and other modern forms of communication. I know this from my own extensive experience, having been connected to the internet practically daily since I was seven or eight years old, with a few escapes here and there. ((I miss Neopets, that's for sure. I was a millionaire at one point, and I was getting richer every day!))

My biggest "escape" from the mad machine thus far has been my Katimavik experience, which lasted nine months, from September 2008 to June 2009. For most of this program, the internet ((and most of the "outside" world)) meant almost nothing to me. It was merely a tool. It still is a tool, but I feel like the tool has outmaneuvered the user.

So, for the next little while, I've decided to use my blog as a tool, but with an intended purpose: sharing the love and caring that the Katimavik program instilled in me. Spreading positive energy, if you will.
The idea is simple: I'll be putting up pictures that represent/demonstrate the many amazing memories and adventures that I've done in the Katimavik program, with the hopes that it will bring back that feeling of being alive, of being at a place where I really felt my worth in the world. And the goal is for you, whoever you are reading these words, to go out and also find ways to make your world a better, caring, and perhaps more fun place to live.
With many of my readers being students, and with the end of the schooling year coming to an end soon, I feel it's an appropriate time to start this little side project, something that'll be totally different from my consistent whining and critique. (Okay, maybe that's exaggerating a bit, but it's hard to lose the "young adult" anger that I feel when I notice harsh disparities all around me).

This blog has improved my quality of life, especially at times where I've felt nothing but despair and loneliness, and has served as a refuge away from the real world for many years. But it's also been a place that has  allowed me to document my journey through existence, however intricate it may be sometimes.

Before I begin a new chapter in my repository of ideas, I'd like to share a source of inspiration (keep in mind I have many!) with you. My long time friend Kate recently started her own blogging project, and she was actually once a contributor on this very blog, back when I was just starting this project of writing into this box. A very nice box that has always accepted my thoughts, no matter how wild they may sometimes be. Her blog, aptly named Kate Inspired, is definitely a place worth checking out. I'm jealous of how captivating each of her entries are! I really like the way her pictures add so much life to everything she writes about.
And that's what I'm striving to do with this blog now: bring back some life into this soul of mine, even if to you, beloved reader, it may just be something on a computer screen.

But to me, it's part of my soul. Or if you're feeling more magical, it's my horcrux, which also happens to be my very own pensieve.
If I only managed to be more at ease around Hermione or Luna, mayhaps I wouldn't need such a sprawling pensieve...

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Starstarer

My most amazing daydreams are made by one of my most treasured and favourite authors.

I anxiously await to have the proper reading light to finish this book, and I hope I can find the first two of the series somewhere in the house to rediscover the cloud cats, my "daymares".

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