Bubbles and other domains

I had a thought instilled in me at one point, about people and their bubbles ; aka, their personal space. People, generally speaking, like having their own space that they can call their own. This space could be physical, mental, emotional, all of those words that end in al.


My biggest bubble used to be my computer and the connections that go through it, whether through games, communication, research, but I've come to realize that this bubble is so big, so massive, that I can't really find the edges of it; the ends of it. 


And so my bubble in the world that doesn't happen through the computer, that happens in my head and with the outside stimulus is... scary. I can share it sometimes, but there's always a fear that my bubble just isn't real(istic).


So I spend time travelling to other bubbles, hoping that they can accept me, but acceptance is hard to find.

Karma Aspiration Linger Entity Iodinic Darwyn Overcast Unlamine Grievous Hawt Spectroom Caraoke Overwhelming Parlamore Everdrawn

Preparation is sometimes so terrifying.

Ever notice that when you have things that you really want to do, you sometimes find yourself limiting your choices because you're afraid that things won't work out quite the way you want them to?

Happens to me a lot, and it's sometimes rather frightening. Setting barriers that interfere with goals (I really hate this word, it makes me feel so lost in the worlds that I chance upon).

An adventure in a wide open maze.

Today was a cold day to travel on, but I did it anyway. The lastminuteness of things really make me feel alive in a way, giving me reasons to do things as they happen instead of pondering all the time what could, what should, what might happen next; or what is. The idea(l)s that were shared between me and J were quite boisterous in their own right, things about the world that seem to others as simple and yet as so complicated as this sentence right here.

One thing that amazes me about malls is the emptiness that you can sort of feel when no one's around, as if everything is a sort of playground waiting to happen. And yet, the play that goes on during the day at this particular place is nothing short of an affront to mother earth, the amount of stuff that is just wasted everyday is really an absurdity, when so much more could be made available to such a populous people.

If people who aren't moulded by their sometimes too-specific worlds were more open to the idea that "younger" visions of things might be more mature for an aging world, we'd probably all be better off.

But hey, what do I know, I'm just someone with no formal credentials and no steady job.

Signed,

Karma etc. etc./Gabalazriel


P.S. If I won the lottery, I would build/find an environment to share the love.

Syncopated drama king.

It's as if I have no choice, but at the same time, I have all the possibilities available to me.
I made decisions in my head, but it seems like nothing ever comes out of my decisions. They just lie there like empty broken promises waiting to be fulfilled.
It seems like no one gives a damn, because I never get to see the fruits&vegetables of my mental labor. They all just float away to be "taken" by others. I feel like they're shared, but if they're not shared with me, then they're not truly shared.

I have a few theories I have, but even if I share them on here, there's always the fear of the greed of other entities stealing them, so I guess it's better for now if I just list them so that the people who might understand them can take their own interpretations out of them and hopefully do something more effective than I can, because I can't seem to do anything proper by myself.

Spectrum theory.
Others-fulfilling prophecy (to put it simply, the opposite of the self-fulfilling prophecy, in that things are affected to my "sense" of self by others, and not just by me).
Chocolate milk dispenser dispenses happiness and hope, except when people don't believe in the possibility of it existing. I know at least one person who believes in it, though, so I guess that's enough for now. It's the fountain of youth everyone talks about.

Otherwise, I could just tune into the autoinfomercials and by something that was proven clinically to reduce the appearance of battle scars.

Either way, I'm broke, and likely indebted. But in one paradigm, it's just a few dollars.

A few dollars can mean so much, sometimes.

My psychiatrist.

Funny how words turn out, sometimes.

My true psychiatrist is, as far as I know, a psyche-actress.

She's sooo pretty.

Too bad the nurses keep her away from me...

Uh oh.

I'm filled with doubts in my head.
I must begin anew, from the pillars that strengthened me in the past.

Where did I all start this madness?
In Etobicoke first, then Mississauga.
I wonder, will UofT accept me there?
I hope so. I don't like being a reject.

Everyone knows the rejects go to the east side.

WEST. DIVISION. CHAMPIONS.

Karma Aspiration Linger Entity Iodinic Daringless Overcast Ulysse Grievous Hawt Spectrum Citronelle Ophilia Philharmonikally Eyesfull