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It's just a spark but it's enough to keep me going
And when it's dark out, no one's around, it keeps glowing

And the salt in my wounds isn't burning more than it used to
It's not that I don't feel the pain it's just that I'm not afraid of hurting anymore

Excerpted from Last Hope on Paramore

Dendrology

Dendrology /dɛnˈdrɒlədʒi/ [MASS NOUN] - the scientific study of trees.

After not having slept very well, I woke up early and decided...
to stay in bed for a long while, never actually going back to sleep.

After having gotten my Reddit dose and finally gotten out of bed, I took my shower and plunged into my psychology textbook. While reading, I thought to myself: "Gee, this is sort of interesting but I can't wait till I'm all caught up and can move on to more fun things".

And after having completed (some of) my readings, I had a buzzing brain and a slight hunger, so I ate breakfast. As I did not want to get sucked back into my intellectual garble of words, I fought off feelings of laziness and stress and put on my boots to go for a walk in Cedarvale ravine.

Fallen tree on path

Fallen trees were numerous on the trail. With quick thinking, I busted out my camera and took a picture of a tree and thought to myself: "Great! I can take this picture and come up with how this tree is a metaphor for something or another in my life."

A big one right on the path

But fuck it. There's no point intellectualizing the situation. I'm just going to put up more pictures of (broken) trees. And fewer words.

My favourite tree in Cedarvale

Just a note about my favourite tree, pictured above. Since this tree was fallen long before the storm, it actually wasn't damaged all that much. Maybe I'll make a post another time about why this is my favourite tree.

A resilient little birch tree

I used to know trees better when I was a boy scout. Actually, I just knew the names in french.

Heavy damage at the subway exit

I took these pictures a month after the ice storm. Still quite a lot of damage visible.

Crap bag on tree

Trying to come up with reasons why this happened is futile. Maybe by hanging the turd, the dog owner is making it easier for people who pick up other people's dog crap to collect it. How considerate!

Canadian geese in High Park

Bonus picture: I took this in High Park a couple days ago. Shouldn't they be in the South by now? How strange.

Signed,

Kaleidoughscope

Classical freedom

Classical free writing; wondering what the future holds.
I see possibilities hampered by a hermitage. But I also see happiness found through engagement.

Find your own way. Be motivated, but don't rely on others to make life great for you.

If you work hard, you will achieve what you seek. If you fail to get yourself moving, you will remain at a standstill.

The oracle is nothing more than your own wisdom. Your creativity is limitless. Your potential is always there. It is only your will that needs more strength.
Take this chance and wake up with a bright outlook. Commit to doing little things, and build up from there.

Get ahead of your readings. Read read read instead of consuming mindless media. Improve your social skills.

So many options. All you have to do is take them.

Signed, 
Kaleidoughscope

Be Alone

I'm skipping right ahead to Paramore's fourth and latest studio album, simply called Paramore, because there's a song I feel like describing that has to do with my current state of mind.

The song is called Be Alone, and as you might guess, it's about being alone. Not necessarily loneliness, mind you, but the mere fact of being on your own.

Queue the opening verses.

So what if I don't have,
A lot to talk about?
I shut my mouth and keep it,
Locked until it counts.

And what if I don't ever want,
To leave my house?
Stay on the couch while
All my friends are going out.

Such is my situation right now. It is Friday night. No doubt some of my friends are going out, and meanwhile I'm sitting on the La-Z-Boy, blogging, and waiting for Elder Scrolls Online to finish installing.

Wouldn't it be nice to be alone with someone, though? Does that even make sense? It sure does, according to Paramore. The chorus goes:

You should be alone,
Yeah, you should be alone,
You should be alone with me.
We could be alone,
Yeah, we could be alone,
But never get too lonely.

So maybe I'm not that lonely after all. I guess I'm alone with you, reader.

Among some of the rest of the lyrics, I find the following to be most illuminating:

See, I ain't one to climb
Some social ladder too.
Some Shangri-La
That all the cool kids will abuse.

This could be talking about society's obsession with upward mobility and abusing the system. I'm not quite sure.

Either way, I'm content with being on my own right now. But as weird as it sounds, I guess I'm never really totally alone when Lyra's around.

Signed,

Kaleidoughscope

Garage hearts

Yearning for signs of the hidden realm.

Signed,
Kaleidoughscope